INSTANT RELIEF

Instant relief. If you are suffering from anxiety then you are likely to be looking for some remedy to help you to just get through the attacks. Some quick and easy fix to make it all go away.

A prominent psychologist once said that the only way to feel better instantly was to buy a case of your favorite of scotch, find a willing partner and book a two week vacation to some tropical island. Then, you may feel better - at least for a couple of weeks. While this humorous little piece of advice is not something that I would recommend - it does make one strong point. There is no known quick fix to deeply rooted psychological issues. There is, however, the next best thing. Coping skills.

While the coping skills that I will outline in the below won’t make it all go away they will help you to learn to calm yourself down and to relax when you begin to feel anxious. And while these coping skills are not the “cure all” that those of us in the midst of anxiety so desperately crave, they will bring some fairly instant relief.

RECONDITIONING RESPONSE

In addition to lowering our level of stress, these coping skills - when practiced regularly - will recondition us to respond to our stressors in a new and exciting way. A relaxed way. An even peaceful way.

We must first understand that over a period of many years, we have conditioned ourselves - or taught ourselves - to respond to stressful situations in an anxious way. (See also: Pavlov’s Dog) When a bear jumps out in front of you while you are hiking in the woods, your mind sends a strong and instant signal - oh no! - to your adrenaline gland. Your heart beats faster and you are physically ready to fight or flee - often referred to by psychologists as the “fight or flight response.” This is an example of a logical fear.

The same thing happens when we encounter an illogical fear. One of my illogical fears was “the telephone ringing.” Every time I would hear the telephone ring my distorted thinking would say to me: “Oh no, something's really wrong somewhere” and my adrenaline gland would be triggered in much the same way as if a bear had just jumped out in front of me. My heart would start racing and I was physically ready to fight or flee.

When this happens over and over again your mind and body become conditioned to respond in a fight or fleeing way every time that particular stressor or fear becomes present. After many years of conditioning I too, just like Pavlov’s Dog, had become conditioned to respond in a anxious way every time the telephone rang.

The good news about conditioning it that any person that has become conditioned to respond to a certain “thing” or event in an undesirable way can be reconditioned to respond in a more desirable or pleasant way.

COPING SKILLS

This is where coping skills come in to play. There are two purposes for doing these coping exercises. The first is immediate relief from stress or a stressor. Coping skills will, indeed, bring some immediate relief to the anxiety that you are experiencing. The second is reconditioning your response. After practicing these simple coping techniques for a period of time you will actually begin to experience a calm sensation where you used to feel only stress.

Whatever your fears or phobias may be - you can actually recondition your response to them. Sound good? Let us begin to learn how.

NOTE: Per DIAPHRAGMATIC BREATHING see the page on this site of that same title where we go into this valuable skill in depth.

RELAXING MUSCLES

When relaxing my muscles I often start with my shoulder muscles. (You may wish to start with your feet muscles or another muscle - it doesn’t matter) Tense up your muscle counting to four or five. (Not so tight as to get a cramp, however.) Then release the muscle. Notice how good it feels. Count to four or five as you release the muscle.

Repeat this procedure three times with each muscle group in your body focusing on how good it feels to release the tension in your muscles. You may wish to start with your toes and then move to your feet, calves, thighs, butt, stomach, fingers, hands, arms, shoulders, face and neck, however, the order in which you proceed is not important.

You may want to be sitting down or you may desire to lay down to do this exercise. Either way is OK. Sometimes it can be very relaxing for me to do this procedure in my car while I’m stuck in a traffic jam.

Also, you may wish to do this muscle relaxation exercise simultaneously with your diaphragmatic breathing.

MEDITATION

You may be thinking “meditation, oh sure, what’s next - incense and hippie beads?”

Study after study has shown meditation, when done correctly, to be a very successful form of stress reduction. And there is really nothing mystical or hocus-pocus about it. The primary cause of anxiety is an over active or out of control thought process. Effective meditation slows down your thought process and - whala - reduces your anxiety.

The first step is to find a comfortable position. Many people choose to sit with good posture in an upright position. I suggest preparing yourself by first doing a few minutes of diaphragmatic breathing and muscle relaxation exercises to relax you physically.

Next - close your eyes. (Studies show that by simply closing our eyes we can reduce our brain activity by up to seventy-five percent.) You may at this time start to become aware of your own thoughts. Let the flow and go away. The idea here is to have as few thoughts as possible, but don’t become anxious if you cannot eliminate your thoughts altogether. Simply let them go each time you recognize yourself drifting into thought.

MANTRA

One of the things that helps us to eliminate our thought process is to concentrate upon or repeat a mantra. A mantra is quite simply just a word or a phrase or a number that you try to visualize and repeat over and over again. The sole purpose in this is to eliminate any thoughts that might want to creep into your mind.

Many times I would meditate while doing my breathing exercises. My mantra would be the numbers that I was using for counting my breaths. I would close my eyes and while breathing in I would visualize and focus upon the numbers; one, two, three, four, five, six, seven...And then as I was breathing out I would again focus upon and visualize the numbers: One, two, three, four, five, six, seven... I also will often us a Bible verse or simple the name “Jesus” while visualizing each letter’s, size, shape, dimension, color and texture.

You may have a favorite word or phrase that you want to use for your mantra. Some people simply repeat and focus upon the name of a loved one or a favorite phrase. It doesn’t matter. The Idea is to have something to focus upon to help you to stop thinking.

Try to meditate at least once every day for at least twenty minutes or any time that you feel stressed or anxious. Meditating will leave you refreshed and help to become aware of your thought process. It will also help to bring you out of anxiety and recondition you to react more calmly in stressful situations. Don’t worry if you become so relaxed that you nod off and fall asleep.

REFOCUSING

Another powerful coping skill is the ability to refocus your attention. Since, in times of anxiety, your attention is focused almost entirely upon your own self-created “worry thoughts” , the refocusing of your attention - away from the worry thoughts - will bring welcome relief.

The idea is to find a mental activity that will distract you from - without escaping - your anxious way of thinking. This exercise can be as simple as counting the tiles on the floor in the room where you are sitting, or trying to remember and recite the capitals of all fifty of the United States. It does not matter what form of distraction you use although the more mentally challenging the activity is, the more focus it will take giving you a swifter release from the tiring grip of anxiety.

If I was at home, one of the distractions I would use was to learn how to play a new song on the piano. That activity always take a great deal of mental concentration for me as well as physical coordination concentration and I had the additional benefit of learning something new. Usually, within just a few minutes of piano learning, I had distracted myself enough away from my worrisome thoughts so that my anxiety had become manageable.

Another way of applying the refocusing technique is to combine it with one or more of the other coping skills. For example, while practicing diaphragmatic breathing you may wish to focus upon the air that you are inhaling and exhaling or focus on the numbers that you are counting as you breathe. Or, when doing the muscle relaxation technique, you can focus intensely upon each individual muscle and the counting of the tightening and releasing of that muscle. Then concentrate upon the way that the relaxed muscle tingles and feels.

The idea behind all of the refocusing techniques is distraction without escape. Do these or create and apply your own distractions any time that you feel anxious. This will give you immediate relief, help to prepare you for positive self-talk and begin to recondition your responses to stressful situations.

ADDITIONAL COPING EXERCISES

The following is a list of additional coping skills and affirmations that you may wish to add to you daily exercises.

* Abundance list: Every day write a list of ten things in life that you have to be thankful for. Examine and think about each one in depth.

* Affirmation statements: Each week create a list of five affirmations and read them out loud to yourself three or four times daily. Example:

1. I am a caring and loving person.

2. Every day I am practicing, learning, growing and becoming a healthier human.

3. I am becoming more aware of my thought process, gaining control of my thoughts, and reducing my anxiety.

4. I am perfectly normal and wonderfully unique.

5. I am calm, confident and happy to be alive.

* Pray. The power of prayer and all its mysteries cannot be underestimated. Doctor after Doctor in hospitals around the world are singing accolades to the power of prayer. I strongly recommend it.