other traditions of juhannus are 'kokko' meaning big flamming piles of wood and other flamming shit, that are on fire, and spells about how you can predict your future husband...which we are going to try when my parents fall asleep and don't call the police if they see someone in your yard riping flowers from gardens...the option for doing that is running around in nude...but because we are in the suburbes, we just don't...mainly because we would get arrested.
ok, this is the traditional virtualblondes' midsummerfest...unfortunately all virtualblonds can't be here cause Osmi is out "partying".
the party started proximately at 5.00 pm when Tuulia, Osmi and Reija went and rose some flags...while they were doing that, Marjut was in a sauna.
at 6.00 pm Reija and Tuulia arriwed at Marjut's resident...Reija would like to state that Tuulia was allready weird at this point, there are evidence that Tuulia was running, stepping and pretending that a plant was a missile.
clock is now 9.34 pm and it is really weird...we have giggled about three hours,
and had a marathon about throwing food into each others mouths
we also ate ourselves to the point of sickness...Reija is chasing a fly...
Tuulia states that Monthy Python rules the world... Seen the movies life of
Brian and The Meaning of Life? Two against one that they suck.
Stand up for them!!! Marjut is feeding Reija with Rice cakes. Or something.
In the radio played a song about this guy who had a erection for so long
that his head exploded...the erection still goes on...Viagra?
We have also
discussed the whole day about this karateka with a great ass, Janne Karhunen,
who almost won ec-bronze few weeks ago. But that has nothing to do with Midsummer,
we talk about him all the time. He's the sexiest damn alive.
Now we are throwing each other with candy and Reija is playing with Marjut's cellularphone. We have obtained a lot of coffeine and we are really, really, really weird.
clock is now 9.46. pm and we are listening to stupid finnish radioprograms in
which drunken people are calling and making asses of them selves in public
making stupid requests..."can i say hello? i can? okay...i would like to say
hello to mom, dad, my dog and to everyone who i know, don't know and forgot...
hih hih..am I really on radio?...I am? can I say hello? no? well fuck you too
madam! piip piip piip..."
Discussions about Reija's feet and Tuulia's blatter.
Throwing candy and ice in to the inside of Tuulia's shirt.
22.00 pm karaoke time... "I'll shoot you with shotgun... lallaa laa... I'll
go back to sleep..lallaa" What a great piece of music in Finnish radio. Reija
keeps hitting her head into objects. Interview with Reija & Marjut: Does it
hurt? Marjut: Yeah, ate too much pizza... She's going to throw up on the yard,
just to piss off neighbours. "How many f:s there are in off?" "Yeah."
At the
moment it's getting wild for people who are (trying) to send messages with
their cell-phones. Either the guy or the phone is in lake and people are
waaaayyy too drunk to write something meaningfull.
A little piece of
information: There are five million people and three million cell-phones in
Finland.
Marjut is hitting her head on the bottle. She claims that it bounces
or something.
When Marjut was dictating the previous sentence to Tuulia, the
immortal sentence, Shit flaming, was wrongfully heard and it is now the
new slogan of the VirtualBlonds (Trade Mark).
More great Finnish music: "We could try group sex... I would like to be with
you then... What if your father finds out?...Lalllaaaaaaa".
Reija is taking
time how long Marjut can keep a bottle on forehead. Minute and half.
The next record is minute and 45 secs. The fly spoiled it. Ha,
try to break that one! Reija is telling a tragical story about 'The' Bird
which is shitting on their windows.
Marjut thinks that a Coke bottle suits
her forehead better than a vichy bottle.
Reija is cranky, because the record
was spoiled by Tuulia who told Marjut something funny and she started to
laugh hysterically...
2 min 15 sec. the magical limit is 3 minutes...
Tuulia is singing karaoke...
"sex takes, taxi brings, cider makes me move" Nylon Beat also rules the world.
"it's a wonderfull light, you're name is a beautiful word, are the gates
opened. you are the sun. pa da da du du papa da dudduduu"
Reija tried to drink her watch. drinking tips from the radio. Marjut
creates a wasp-song, and forgets it when they try to send it to a wasp.
Tuulia has the hots for bartenders. Oh, com'on, doesn't everybody? They're soooooo cute. At least some of them.
the guy on the radio tells that the best drink of summer contains cucumber, garlic and vodka.
Tuulia wants to go and dance on the yard...nude? Nope.
"could it have happened so, that your kokko has been burned. Could it have happened so, that in your bunch of birch twigs there is pee"
Marjut and Tuulia are having a chick fight about how do you spell "there is pee in your bunch of birch twigs"
Tuulia is getting vocal (and violent) 'cause Marjut is spanking her with a bottle.
"You are very beautiful and you live only once. You are very wise and you live only for a while"
A Finnish belief: After Sauna, you should climb to the roof of sauna with a bunch of birch twigs, naked, your back on the sun. While doing that you should see your future groom walking along the road...if you are a hot babe and he sees you, nude in the roof, he may also be climbing to the very same roof.
Reija and Marjut are dancing macarena.
Marjut is making sexual remarks about Reija's dream. Reija is
playing in a different team than Tuulia and Aki Sirkesalo (finnish celebrity).
Reija's version: Tuulia and Reija are playing weird ball game with Aki Sirkesalo.
Marjut's version: Tuulia and Reija are playing a pervert holeball with Sirkesalo
and end up having threesome with Aki Sirkesalo, later more people arrive to the
scene and join in the endless sea of beds...in Tuulia's verion: sea of love.
Tuulia and Reija suggest that Marjut is a pervert. She needs a therapist. or a
man. if the therapist is a man, he'll do. we also saw a man in the shapes of
the odd holes in Marjut's roof.
it's almost midnight...soon is the time of midsummer magic.
in Finland the night should be bright as day...well, in Virkkala it's dark..
and cold.
discussions why blonds are so easy. Tuulia is a blond, Reija is a blond, Marjut is a redhead.
it is now midnight and we are going to go and pick some flowers...in the nude...still nope.
by the way...the flower thing is dew to the old tradition that a girl should pick 7 different flowers or 5 herbs, and carry them a around threw the night...and when she falls a sleep she'll see her future husband...three singlewomen are going to go and pick every fucking plant in one's yard...
ok, we are back...
first we all picked 9 different flowers or plants...put them on our hair and then we ran three loops around the runningtrack...which is a mile in total...
we also caused a woman with a small dog to get wery paranoid when we hoppedalong the road looking mighty drunk.
after our little sprung Marjut tried to make a picture of Janne reflect from her cellular (urban version of a looking in to a well)