My favorite poems and such
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Top 10 rodeo superstitions
By RICK OVERALL
Ottawa Sun Hockey and baseball players have odd superstitions, but they can't hold a candle to rodeo cowboys. Here's a list of cowboy superstitions:
1: A saddle bronc rider always puts the right foot in the stirrup first.
2: Never kick a paper cup thrown down at a rodeo.
3: Cowgirls often wear different colored socks on each foot, for luck.
4: Don't compete with change in your pocket because that's all you might win.
5: Never put your hat on a bed -- you may be seriously injured or killed.
6: Eating a hotdog before the competition brings good luck.
7: Never read your horoscope on competition day.
8: Never eat peanuts or popcorn in the arena.
9: Always shave before the competition.
10: Never wear yellow in the arena -- it will bring bad luck

My Favorite Country Music Artists

My favorite poems and such

The Best Poems and Such I've ever read

Cowboy Prayer

Our gracious and heavely Father, We pause in the midst of this festive occasion, mindful and thoughtful of the guidance that you have given us.

As cowboys, Lord, we don't ask for any special favors, we ask only that you let us compete in this arena, as in lifes arena. We don't ask to never break a barrier, or to draw a round of steer that's hard to throw, or a chute fighting horse, or a bull that is impossible to ride. We only ask that you help us to compete as honest as the horses we ride and in a manner as clean and pure as the wind that blows across this great land of ours.

So when we do make that last ride that is inevitable for us all to make, to that place up there, where the grass is green and lush, and stirrup high, and the water runs cool, clear, and deep- You'll tell us as we ride in -- that our entry fees have been paid.

These things we ask -- Amen. Clem McSpadden

A Horses Prayer

I pray thee, Master, to care for me through long winter days and nights when I cannot earn my keep. Feed and water me, and give me a good warm bed, that I may keep well, and duly repay all your kindness when Trail Riding Season returns once more. Treat me kindly, and do not beat me when I do not understand what you want me to do, but watch me, please, and see if I might not be ill... my back, shoulders, or feet may be sore. Remember that I cannot go my own way, but must obey your commands, My Master, and that I serve you well and faithfully, to the best of my ability.

Please, Master, have merc on me. Protect me from the hot sun, the fall rain, and winter's ice and snow. Remember that horses have long been servants of man throughout the ages. We have pulled the prairie schooners from sea to shining sea. Plowed the new fields, that man might grow food to keep the body and soul together. We helped build the mighty railroads; stayed with the cowboy through his long night watch under the lonely stars. We died heroically with man on the battlefields of nations.

I shall do my part, for I have learned to love thee well. So, my Master, when I am old, and can no longer perform on the trail, and thus serve you profitably, please do not turn me out to starve, or sell me to some cruel man. Just let me die at the beloved hands of my Master, and God will bless thee. ~Anonymous~

The Outlaw's Prayer; a really good song by Johnny Paycheck

This'll make you think.

You know I'd worked a big package show
In Fort Worth Saturday night
We had all day Sunday to rest and relax
Before we caught another flight
So I decided to walk downtown
And get myself a little fresh air
Before long I found myself in front of a big church
On the corner of the square

I could hear the singing way out on the street
It sure was a beautiful sound
So I just walked up the steps and opened the door
Started to go inside and sit down
But before I could a young man walked over to me
And said "excuse me sir"
But I can't let you in with that big black hat
Those jeans, that beard and long hair

So I just left and went back outside
And sat down on the curb
And I thought to myself
That's the house of the Lord
That guys got a hell of a nerve
Tellin' me I can't worship anywhere I please
So right there in front of that church
I just knelt down on my knees

I said, "Lord I know I don't look like much
But I didn't think you'd mind
I just wanted to be with your people Lord
'cause it's been a long time
awhile ago I saw a wino over there in the alley
All bent over in tears
And I thought how one stained glass window
From this church would feed his family for years

And then there's those fine cars parked outside
Too many for me to count
It made me think of how people walked for days
To hear your sermon on the mount
And then there's those fine ladies in the choir
Lord singing like they really love it
Hell last night they were dancin'
On the front row of my show
Drinkin' beer and screamin', sing "shove it"

You know even John the Baptist
Would be welcome in this place
With his coat made of camel hair
And sandals on his feet
And a long beard on his face
You know Lord, when you come back
To get your children
And take 'em beyond the clouds
To live forever in heaven with you
Well, I'd sure hate to be in this crowd

And Lord, I know I'm not perfect
Some even call me, no count
But I'll tell you, I believe a man
Is judged by what's in his heart
And not his bank account
So if this is what religion is
A big car and a suit and tie
Then I might as well forget it
'cause I can't qualify

Oh, by the way Lord
Right before they kicked me out
Didn't I see a picture of you
with sandals and a beard
And I believe you had long hair too
Well this is paycheck signing off
I'll be seein' you Lord, I hope

Beef all comes from Cellophane

If milk all comes from cartons
And pickles come from jars
Then green beans sprout from labeled cans
And chocolate comes from bars.

If taters come from plastic bages
And cheese from slices neat
Then eggs all come from styrofoams
And juice from bottles sweet.

If shoes all come from boxes
And flour, it grows in sacks
Then beef all comes from cellophanes
And wool shirts come from racks.

Now if beef all comes from cellophanes,
And we all know that's true,
Then I wish somebody'd tell me,
What the hell do ranchers do?

This is my favorite poem ever.

DEATH OF AN INNOCENT


I went to a party, Mom, I remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom, so I drank soda instead
I really felt proud inside, Mom, the way you said I would.
I didn't drink and drive, Mom, even though the others said I should.
I know I did the right thing, Mom, I know you are always right.
Now the party is finally ending, Mom, as everyone is driving out of
sight.
As I got into my car, Mom, I knew I'd get home in one piece.
Because of the way you raised me, so responsible and sweet.
I started to drive away, Mom, but as I pulled out into the road,
the other car didn't see me, Mom, and hit me like a load.
As I lay there on the pavement, Mom, I hear the policeman say,
the other guy is drunk, Mom, and now I'm the one who will pay.
I'm lying here dying, Mom.. I wish you'd get here soon.
How could this happen to me, Mom? My life just burst like a balloon.
There is blood all around me, Mom, and most of it is mine.
I hear the medic say, Mom, I'll die in a short time.
I just wanted to tell you, Mom, I swear I didn't drink.
It was the others, Mom. The others didn't think.
He was probably at the same party as I.
The only difference is, he drank and I will die.
Why do people drink, Mom? It can ruin your whole life.
I'm feeling sharp pains now. Pains just like a knife.
The guy who hit me is walking, Mom, and I don't think it's fair.
I'm lying here dying and all he can do is stare.
Tell my brother not to cry, Mom. Tell Daddy to be brave.
And when I go to heaven, Mom, put "Daddy's Girl" on my grave
Someone should have told him, Mom, not to drink and drive.
If only they had told him, Mom, I would still be alive.
My breath is getting shorter, Mom. I'm becoming very scared.
Please don't cry for me, Mom. When I needed you, you were always
here.
I have one last question, Mom, before I say good bye.
I didn't drink and drive, so why am I the one to die?

THE DRINKER'S ALPHABET
A-Alcohol:The key to surviving college
B-Beer:The most disgusting alcohol of all, but great for chugging
C-Class:What you're supposed to get up and go to after a Thursday night party
D-Dancing:A favorite pastime of almost every drunk, usually looks pathetic
E-Emergency:The keg is empty or there is no one over 21 in your drinking party
F-Fucked Up:Signified by leaning over a toilet puking your guts out
G-Games:Anything that involves cards, dice and chugging beers
H-Hang-over:Reminds you of how great last night was and how much you drank
I-Idiot:The guy that spilled his beer on you and everyone else at the party
J-Jail:Where you'll end up after trying to use a fake ID or stagger home
K-Kissing:What you'll do to anything that moves after 15 beers
L-Lord:Person you beg to get you out of every situation involving alcohol
M-Money:That which you no longer have due to too much partying
N-Not Again!:What you scream when you wake up beside someone you don't know
O-Oh shit!-What you say as you're falling down the stairs.
P-Pee:What you have to do every five minutes while you're drinking beer
Q-quilt:What you puked on last night in bed and have to clean in the morning-YUCK!
R-Reform:What you promise god you will do while you're puking in the toilet
S-Sex:What you did with that person you met last night while you were drunk
T-Ten:The number of beers it takes ME to get drunk
U-Underage:Most of the drinking population in college town
V-Vodka:The mother of all alcohols and the best way to get drunk in an hour
W-Worm:The part of Tequila that reminds you of Biology class tomorrow
X-X-Ray:How they can see into your stomach before they pump it
Y-Yourself:The one who drinks WAY TOO MUCH every week-end
Z-Zoned:How you will be for the next 12 hours following drinking

HOW TO ANNOY OTHER PEOPLE
1. Leave the copy machine set to 99 copies, reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper.
2. In the memo field of all your checks write "for sensual massage."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
7. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
8. Practice making fax and modem noises.
9. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc." them to your boss.
10. Make beeping noises when you back up.
11. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophecy."
12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
13. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
15. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others you "like it that way."
16. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
18. Honk and wave to strangers.
19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat the complimentary mints by the cash register.
20. TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE.
21. type only in lowercase.
22. Don t use any punctuation either
23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
26. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce, "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
27. Ask people what gender they are.
28. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
29. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down
30. Sing along at the opera.
31. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
32. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook and mutter something about " psychological profiles."
33. Tell your friends 5 days prior, that you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

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