Thinkings

12/30/06 - They aren't sick, cats just puke because they eat too much too fast. They are pigs in pussycat clothing. ~ Karen

12/27/06 - Van Roy's Law: An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.

12/20/06 - Experience teaches you to recognize a mistake when you have made it again. ~ Unknown

12/19/06 - Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in. ~ Will Rogers

12/18/06 - Bah Humbug!

12/16/06 - Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you. - Carl Sandburg

12/14/06 - Tis the season.... *~<(:o{ }

12/09/06 - I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark. ~ Dick Gregory

12/07/06 - Only 17 more days til christmas. :O/

12/06/06 - Memory is the diary that we all carry about with us. ~ Oscar Wilde

12/04/06 - I've tried relaxing, but... I don't know... I feel more comfortable tense. ~ Hamilton Cartoon Caption

12/03/06 - Please, Lord, let me prove that winning the lottery won't spoil me.

12/02/06 - The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you're doing, someone else does.

12/01/06 - I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. ~ Frank Sinatra

11/30/06 - I love it when a plan comes together!!

11/27/06 - A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it. ~ Bob Hope

11/26/06 - One down.. one to go. :O)

11/19/06 - When you try to put together the money you need for Christmas, you see why St. Nicolas is also the patron saint of pawnbrokers. ~ Unknown

11/18/06 - Poetry and Hums aren't things which you get, they're things which get you. And all you can do is to go where they can find you. ~ Winnie the Pooh

11/17/06 - Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects. ~ Will Rogers

11/16/06 - You only nag the ones you love.

11/14/06 - If a cat does something, we call it instinct; if we do the same thing, for the same reason, we call it intelligence. ~ Will Cuppy

11/13/06 - Winter is nature's way of saying, "Up Yours." ~ Robert Byrne

11/11/06 - Experience is a great thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

11/10/06 - If you're too open minded your brains will fall out.

11/09/06 - Don't worry about what people think; they don't do it very often.

11/07/06 - It isn't the jeans that make your butt look fat.

11/06/06 - Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows. ~ Jennifer Unlimited

11/05/06 - Never keep up with the Joneses, drag them down to your level. ~ Quentin Crisp

11/02/06 - Sometimes the littlest things in life are the hardest to take. You can sit on a mountain more comfortably than on a tack. ~ Unknown

11/01/06 - Forgive me if I snap at you. I'm myself today. ~ Maxine

10/31/06 - Only 54 days til Christmas.. :O(

10/30/06 - This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. ~ Will Rogers

10/29/06 - I have to spend the next week trying to figure out what time it is really! I hate daylight savings!

10/28/06 - Don't forget to set your clocks back one hour.

10/26/06 - We all know how the size of sums of money appears to vary in a remarkable way according as they are being paid in or paid out. ~Julian Huxley

10/23/06 - For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way. Something to be got through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life. ~ Fr. Alfred D'Souza

10/17/06 - Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

10/16/06 - Be glad you're neurotic. This may be the only normal thing about you.

10/15/06 - What this country needs is more unemployed politicians. ~ Edward Langley

10/14/06 - Credit buying is much like being drunk. The buzz happens immediately and gives you a lift.... The hangover comes the day after. ~Joyce Brothers

10/11/06 - A good listener is usually thinking about something else. ~ Kin Hubbard

10/10/06 - Welcome to Shit Creek ~ Sorry, we're fresh out of paddles.

10/05/06 - I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

10/04/06 - Middle age is when you're sitting at home on Saturday night and the phone rings and you hope it isn't for you. ~ Ogden Nash

10/03/06 - The favorite bumper sticker in Washington D.C. right now is one that says "First Iraq, then France." ~ Tom Brokaw

09/28/06 - Pleasures change with the seasons.

09/27/06 - You can't run away from trouble. There ain't no place that far. ~ Uncle Remus

09/25/06 - As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat. ~ Ellen Perry Berkeley

09/23/06 - On a lighter note.. *L* A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds : "Husband wanted" The next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: " You can have mine."

09/21/06 - I have had it with the United States allowing leaders of countries who hate the United States to come here and malign our country. I can see Iran and Venezuala allowing President Bush to come to their countries and give his opinion of their countries and their form of government. We need to be drilling for oil in the Arctic National Wildlife Reserve and in the gulf of Mexico. There is no reason for us to be dependent on these assholes for oil. Congress needs to get their heads out of their asses and take care of the United States. No one else. We work hard for our money and I for one am tired of our tax dollars being distributed around the world. That's my opinion and I'm sticking to it!

09/20/06 - One's own experience is the ultimate teacher. ~ Buddha

09/19/06 - The French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks , but doesn't have the face for it. ~ John McCain, U.S. Senator (AZ)

09/18/06 - Insanity is my only means of relaxation.

09/17/06 - "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. ! That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers." ~ Cliff Clavin

09/07/06 - If you are what you eat, I'm easy, fast and cheap.

09/06/06 - If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.

09/05/06 - Nothing is more responsible for the good old days than a bad memory. ~ Robert Benchley

09/04/06 - Isn't there some inefficiency in asking me advice on matters you've already decided? ~ Spock

09/03/06 - Caffine is for people who don't think they are irratable enough on their own. ~ Maxine

08/31/08 - You know, by the time you reach my age, you've made plenty of mistakes if you've lived your life properly. ~ Ronald Reagan

08/30/06 - Marriage is like paying an endless visit in your worst clothes. ~ J.B. Priestley

08/29/06 - It is important to remember that the French have always been there when they needed us. ~ Alan Kent

08/28/06 - Most of us don't know what we want, but we're pretty sure we don't have it.

08/23/06 - I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once. ~ Jennifer Unlimited

08/22/06 - We could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors but they all have to learn to live in the same box.

08/18/06 - The last time the French asked for "more proof," it came marching into Paris under a German flag. ~ David Letterman

08/17/06 - I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

08/16/06 - Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. ~ Mark Twain

08/15/06 - I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. ~ Will Rogers

08/14/06 - If I wanted you to know what I was thinking about, I'd be talking to you. - Al Bundy

08/13/06 - I finally came up with an easy diet.. if it tastes good.. spit it out!

08/12/06 - Spicy food will not cause you to run a fever!

08/10/06 - Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, but the passages that bother me are those I do understand. ~ Mark Twain

08/09/06 - If you can't name it, scrape it off your pizza. C.C. Lewis

08/08/06 - Do not condemn the judgement of another because it differs from your own. You may both be wrong. - Dandemis

08/06/06 - Reality is one's own belief. ~ Sue Drew

08/03/06 - If you don't think too good, don't think too much. ~ Ted Williams

08/01/06 - Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please. ~ Mark Twain

07/29/06 - There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works. ~ Will Rogers

07/27/06 - Where's the snow when you really want it!

07/24/06 - The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug. ~ Mark Twain

07/17/06 - By and large, people who enjoy teaching animals to roll over will find themselves happier with a dog. ~ Barbara Holland

07/09/06 - Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion. ~ Norman Schwartzkopf

07/05/06 - Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more. ~ Mark Twain

07/01/06 - The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee. ~ Regis Philbin

06/30/06 - If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.

06/28/06 - Only 179 days til Christmas. :O(

06/26/06 - Bad taste makes the day go by faster. ~ Andy Warhol

06/25/06 - The 2 most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.

06/18/06 - Cats know how to obtain food without labor, shelter without confinement, and love without penalties. ~ W. L. George

06/17/06 - Sooner or later we all have to face things that we would prefer to have leave us the hell alone. ~ Karen

06/15/06 - There's no place like home. ~ Dorothy

06/12/06 - On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does. ~ Will Rogers

06/07/06 - I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean. ~ G. K. Chesterton

06/06/06 - Nothing gets better with age.

06/04/06 - Nothing is so responsible for the good old days as a bad memory. ~ Franklin D. Roosevelt

06/03/06 - One of the secrets of a happy life is continuous small treats. ~ Iris Murdoch

06/02/06 - Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

05/29/06 - Advice is free: The right answer will cost plenty.

05/25/06 - This country has gotten where it is in spite of politics, not by the aid of it. ~ Will Rogers

05/24/06 - Any fool can tell the truth, but it requires a person of some sense to know how to lie well. ~ Anonymous

05/23/06 - O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet. ~ St. Augustine

05/22/06 - People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that Benjamin Franklin said it first.

05/20/06 - America is a nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but it can think of nothing to do once it gets there. ~ Will Rogers

05/19/06 - Life is short.. eat dessert first.. heck.. eat dessert only!!

05/17/06 - I'm missing something here... I don't quite understand why securing our border and stopping illegal immigrants is a bad thing...

05/11/06 - Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh!" he whispered. "Yes, Piglet?" "Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw. "I just wanted to be sure of you." ~ A.A. Milne

05/10/06 - Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage. ~ Henry Louis Mencken

05/08/06 - Headlines from the year 2029: Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.

05/07/06 - Idealism is what precedes experience; cynicism is what follows. ~ David Wolf

05/02/06 - Congess is the only whore house in America losing money. ~ Dennis? I didn't catch his last name, but I love his sentiment.

05/01/06 - Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

04/26/06 - Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. - Will Rogers

04/24/06 - I am convinced that the best service a retired general can perform is to turn in his tongue along with his suit, and to mothball his opinions. ~ General Omar N. Bradley, U.S. Army

04/23/06 - There are few things in life more heartwarming than to be welcomed by a cat. ~ Tay Hohoff

04/21/06 - I have yet to see any problem, however complicated, which, when looked at in the right way, did not become still more complicated. ~ Paul Anderson

04/20/06 - NEWSPAPER HEADLINES IN THE YEAR 2010 ~ White minorities still trying to have English recognized as California's third language.

04/18/06 - I feel that retired generals should never miss an opportunity to remain silent concerning matters for which they are no longer responsible. ~ General H. Norman Schwarzkopf, U.S. Army

04/17/06 - Ohnosecond: That miniscule fraction of time in which you realize that you have made a BIG mistake.

04/16/06 - Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

04/14/06 - Wearing a halo can give you a headache after a while. ~ C.C. Lewis

04/13/06 - Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches. ~ Will Rogers

04/12/06 - Taking care of my grandchildren is like herding cats.

04/11/06 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. ~ Steven Wright

04/09/06 - There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats. ~ Unknown

04/07/06 - Nothing is fool-proof because fools are so ingenious.

04/06/06 - Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't. ~ Mark Twain

04/05/06 - In order to avoid criticism, never do anything. Ever.

04/04/06 - There is the little matter of disposal of droppings in which the cat is far ahead of its rivals. The dog is somehow thrilled by what he or any of his friends have produced, hates to leave it, adores smelling it, and sometimes eats it...The cat covers it up if he can. ~ Paul Gallico

04/02/06 - George Carlin said it best about Martha Stewart .. "Boy, I feel a lot safer now that she's behind bars. O. J. Simpson and Kobe Bryant are still walking around; Osama Bin Laden too, but they take the ONE woman in America willing to cook, clean, and work in the yard, and they haul her fanny off to jail."

04/01/06 - If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.

03/30/06 - Prowling his own quiet backyard or asleep by the fire, a cat is still only a whisker away from the wilds. ~ Jean Burden

03/27/06 - 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not. ~ Stephen Wright

03/26/06 - You may own a cat, but cannot govern one. ~ Kate Sanborn

03/25/06 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. ~ Steven Wright

03/22/06 - Reality is the leading cause of stress for those in touch with it. ~ Jack Wagner

03/21/06 - The cat is domestic only as far as suits its own ends. ~ H.H. Munro

03/20/06 - Money is the root of all evil. And man needs roots. ~ Unknown

03/19/06 - All of the animals except man know that the principal business of life is to enjoy it. - Anonymous

03/02/06 - I'm on the 30 day diet.. so far I've lost 12 days.

02/28/06 - As anyone who has ever been around a cat for any length of time well knows cats have enormous patience with the limitations of the human kind. ~ Cleveland Amory

02/27/06 - Do you remember the good old days when you dialed a number and actually spoke to a person instead of listening to a %#*^$# recording giving you a list of options!

02/26/06 - Be aware that a halo has to fall only a few inches to be a noose. - Dan McKinnon

02/24/06 - Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.

02/21/06 - It makes it all worth while when you're talking to your son on his cell phone while he's out driving around with the guys and he tells you he loves you before he hangs up. :O)

02/20/06 - One of the delights known to age, and beyond the grasp of youth, is that of Not Going. ~ J.B. Priestley

02/19/06 - Anger is a condition in which the tongue is faster than the mind.

02/17/06 - If the cat ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

02/15/06 - Why do drivers education classes in redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays? Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

02/14/06 - My take on V.P. Cheney shooting the lawyer.. he was just trying to do us all a favor.

02/13/06 - Al Gore should be banished to Saudi Arabia. He belongs in a cave with Bin Laden... or maybe hung for treason. Can he possibly be as stupid as he appears?

02/12/06 - Advice is free: The right answer will cost plenty.

02/10/06 - If the shoe fits......buy a pair in every color.

02/09/06 - Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat. ~ Mark Twain

02/08/06 - There are three ways to get something done - do it yourself, hire someone to do it, or ask your kids not to do it. ~ Malcolm L. Kushner

02/07/06 - A budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money, as well as afterward. ~ Anonymous

02/03/06 - You'll have a lot more respect for a bird after you try making a nest. ~ C.C. Lewis

02/02/06 - Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian. ~ Robert Orben

02/01/06 - Cats are a tonic, they are a laugh, they are a cuddle, they are at least pretty just about all of the time and beautiful some of the time. ~ Roger Caras

01/30/06 - Don't ask questions of fairy tales. - Jewish Proverb

01/29/06 - Between the two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. ~ Mae West

01/28/06 - Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. ~ Will Rogers

01/27/06 - For a single woman, preparing for company means wiping the lipstick off the milk carton. ~ Elyane Boosler

01/24/06 - Refuse to let an old person move into your body. ~ Dr. Wayne Dyer

01/23/06 - The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook. ~ William James

01/22/06 - I'm opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position. - Mark Twain

01/20/06 - The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet.

01/19/06 - Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth. ~ Will Rogers

01/18/06 - Cats always know whether people like or dislike them. They do not always care enough to do anything about it. ~ Winifred Carriere

01/17/06 - When we ask advice, we are usually looking for an accomplice. ~ Marquis de la Grange

01/15/06 - A cat sees no good reason why it should obey another animal, even if it does stand on two legs.~ Sarah Thompson

01/14/06 - Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself. - Martin Vanbee

01/13/06 - You can't change your mind once the egg is scrambled. ~ C.C. Lewis

01/12/06 - As far as I'm concerned, the perfect bra is a sweatshirt. ~ Maxine

01/11/06 - Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming: "WOW! What a ride!" ~ Unknown

01/10/06 - If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.

01/09/06 - Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke. ~ Will Rogers

01/08/06 - When you are being dragged, let go of the leash. ~ C.C. Lewis

01/06/06 - God enjoys receiving knee-mails.

01/05/06 - An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you have just found out. ~ Will Rogers

01/04/06 - Most beds sleep up to six cats. Ten cats without the owner. ~ Stephen Baker

01/02/06 - Having is not so pleasing a thing as wanting, it may not be logical but it is often true. ~ Mr. Spock, Star Trek