12/31/03 - I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. ~ Frank Sinatra
12/30/03 - I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
12/29/03 - I have the ability to channel my imagination into ever soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.
12/28/03 - Tidiness is one of those virtues that never will be assimilated with pleasure. ~ Dame Freya Stark
12/27/03 - It has been many years since I have had such a great Christmas. With Angel wings to boot! *L*
12/23/03 - I hope everyone's Christmas is a happy one.
12/22/03 - Christmas is for children, and people with young children, it's depressing to the rest of the population.
12/21/03 - Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in. ~ Will Rogers
12/20/03 - I'm Out Of Bed And Dressed; What More Do You Want?
12/19/03 - All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
12/18/03 - Fishing is the sport of drowning worms.
12/17/03 - "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. ! That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers." ~ Cliff Clavin
12/16/03 - Advice is free: The right answer will cost plenty.
12/15/03 - 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not. ~ Stephen Wright
12/14/03 - Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies. ~ Frank Church
12/13/03 - To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can! ~ Unknown
12/12/03 - When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven! ~ Brian O'Rourke
12/11/03 - Nothing is fool-proof because fools are so ingenious.
12/10/03 - I was going to comment on the democrats reaction to only the countries in the coalition in Iraq being eligible for the contracts for reconstruction. Not only the democrats, the French, Germans & Russians. I'm sure you all know my sentiments on this so I won't voice them. It is Christmas time.. so I won't go off on a tirade. :O)
12/09/03 - If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don't they actually counteract each other?
12/08/03 - Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.
12/07/03 - Nothing smells more wonderful than a Christmas tree. Well, as long as it's a Nobel Fir.
12/06/03 - There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
12/05/03 - I'm on the 30 day diet.. so far I've lost 12 days.
12/04/03 - Dear Santa.. define good.. :O)
12/03/03 - Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse. ~ Lily Tomlin
12/01/03 - Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.
11/30/03 - When you eat with someone else, calories don't count as long as you don't eat more than they do.
11/29/03 - Some things just amaze me. My keys got locked in the Tahoe yesterday.. I used someone's cell phone and called OnStar. Five minutes later it was unlocked. How can they do that!! Makes me want to lock them in there again!
11/28/03 - You know something is wrong when you enjoy a funeral more than Thanksgiving dinner..
11/27/03 - The nice thing about egotists is they don't talk about other people. ~ Lucille Harper
11/26/03 - Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows. ~ Jennifer Unlimited
11/24/03 - I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once. ~ Jennifer Unlimited
11/23/03 - If you don't think too good, don't think too much. ~ Ted Williams
11/22/03 - Idealism is what precedes experience; cynicism is what follows. ~ David Wolf
11/21/03 - Marriage is like paying an endless visit in your worst clothes. ~ J.B. Priestley
11/20/03 - Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open.
11/19/03 - Why do drivers education classes in redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays? Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
11/18/03 - A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds : "Husband wanted". Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: " You can have mine."
11/17/03 - Credit buying is much like being drunk. The buzz happens immediately and gives you a lift.... The hangover comes the day after. ~Joyce Brothers
11/16/03 - Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.
11/15/03 - It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep. ~ Will Rogers
11/14/03 - Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
11/13/03 - Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
11/11/03 - Things are never so bad they can't be made worse.
11/10/03 - Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
11/09/03 - We could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors but they all have to learn to live in the same box.
11/08/03 - Poetry and Hums aren't things which you get, they're things which get you. And all you can do is to go where they can find you. ~ Winnie the Pooh
11/07/03 - You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. ~ Bob Hope
11/06/03 - I'm not really grouchy, I just don't like traffic, waiting, crowds, lawyers, loud music, unruly kids, Jenny Craig and Toyota commercials, barking dogs, politicians and a few other things I can't seem to remember right now.
11/05/03 - One of the delights known to age, and beyond the grasp of youth, is that of Not Going. ~ J.B. Priestley
11/04/03 - Middle age is when you're sitting at home on Saturday night and the phone rings and you hope it isn't for you. ~ Ogden Nash
11/03/03 - I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter. ~ Winston Churchill
11/02/03 - What you think you have said, is not necessarily what I heard.
11/01/03 - Once the trust goes out of a relationship, it's no fun lying to them anymore. ~ Norm Peterson.. Cheers
10/30/03 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
10/29/03 - This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. ~ Will Rogers
10/28/03 - MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar division. Usage: My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts.
10/27/03 - Do things you really care about. You're going to be dead so much longer than you're going to be alive. ~ Scott Frank
10/25/03 - My ex husband told me that we were going to grow old together. I finally figured it out... our son is going to put us both in the same nursing home. :O/
10/23/03 - Success is getting what you want. Happiness is liking what you get.
10/20/03 - Always drink upstream from the herd. ~ Will Rogers
10/17/03 - Fast tonight, for tomorrow you may have to eat your words.
10/16/03 - People who think they know everything are very irritating to those of us who do. ~ Unknown
10/15/03 - I've been listening, but I'm not sure it's helped.
10/14/03 - Nothing is more responsible for the good old days than a bad memory. ~ Robert Benchley
10/13/03 - There are three sides to every story. Your's, mine and the truth. This is not from deception, but a lack of perception.
10/12/03 - Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy you the kind of misery you prefer.
10/10/03 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. ~ unknown
10/09/03 - The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits. ~ Albert Einstein
10/08/03 - Don't argue with idiots... they'll bring you down to their level, then beat you with experience. ~ Steve
10/07/03 - Where are we going and why am I in this handbasket?
10/06/03 - I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.
10/02/03 - Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
09/29/03 - Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.
09/27/03 - Never be too open minded, your brains could fall out.
09/26/03 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
09/22/03 - Profoundity builds itself in the mind of the viewer. ~ Kevin
09/19/03 - There's no place like home! - Dorothy
09/17/03 - My mind not only wanders, it sometime leaves completely.
09/14/03 - I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you. ~ Unknown
09/13/03 - Happiness is good health and a bad memory. ~ Ingrid Bergman
09/11/03 - Who's the more foolish...the fool or the fool who follows him? Obi-Wan Kenobi
09/08/03 - Don't ask the question if you don't want to hear the answer.
09/07/03 - There is nothing wrong with making mistakes. Just don't respond with encores. ~ Unknown
09/06/03 - I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean. ~ G. K. Chesterton
09/05/03 - It is our relation to circumstances that determines their influence over us. The same wind that carries one vessel into port may blow another off shore. - Christian Bovee
09/04/03 - There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
09/03/03 - Some of the best lessons we learn are learned by past mistakes. The error of the past is the wisdom of the future. ~ Dale Turner
09/02/03 - Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
08/28/03 - Percussive Maintenance: The fine art of whacking the heck out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
08/27/03 - Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills. ~ Minna Antrim
08/26/03 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
08/25/03 - Sooner or later, we learn from our mistakes. I keep saying that! *L*
08/23/03 - How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire or a barbecue?
08/22/03 - Golf is harder than baseball. In golf, you have to play your foul balls.
08/21/03 - The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
08/19/03 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
08/17/03 - Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off you are a jerk if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her. ~ Andy Rooney
08/16/03 - Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it. ~ Andy Rooney
08/15/03 - Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
08/13/03 - You read about all these terrorists -- most of them came here legally, but they hung around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10 -15 years. Now, compare that to Blockbuster; you are two days late with a video and those people are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge of immigration.
08/12/03 - Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
08/11/03 - A woman over 40 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 40 give a damn what you might think about her or what she's doing. ~ Andy Rooney
08/10/03 - Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40. They always know. ~ Andy Rooney
08/07/03 - Some people are like Slinkies . . .. not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
08/06/03 - A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think. ~ Andy Rooney
08/01/03 - I'm sure everything I can't find is in a safe secure place, somewhere.
07/28/03 - One of the perks of getting older.. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
07/27/03 - A closed mouth gathers no feet.
07/26/03 - By doing just a little every day, I can gradually let the task completely overwhelm me. ~ Ashleigh Brilliant
07/25/03 - I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. ~ Hunter Thompson
07/24/03 - Learn to pick your battles; ask yourself, 'Will this matter one year from now? How about one month? One week? One day?'
07/23/03 - Happiness is not the abscence of problems; but the ability to deal with them.
07/22/03 - I need to be poor again. I'm much more fun when I'm poor.. because fun was made, not purchased... ~ Saint
07/21/03 - He who scratches nuts with ben-gay on fingers, dances a right-pretty jig. ~ Saint AKA Kevin
07/19/03 - The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
07/17/03 - Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is. ~ Barbara Bush
07/16/03 - The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket. ~ Frank Hubbard
07/15/03 - IMPOSSIBLE WORDS TO SAY WHEN YOU ARE DRUNK
Thanks, but I don't want sex.
No, I don't want another drink.
No Taco Bell for me thank you.
Sorry, but you're not good looking enough for me.
Good evening officer.
I'm not interested in fighting you.
07/14/03 - I'm usually interested in going home before I get to where I am going.
07/13/03 - I'm a walking storeroom of facts..... I've just lost the key to the storeroom door.
07/12/03 - Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think. ~ Ambrose Bierce
07/11/03 - God must love stupid people, he made so many.
07/10/03 - Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back.
07/09/03 - What do you call an Montana rancher with a sheep under each arm? A pimp.
07/08/03 - The 2 most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
07/07/03 - A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change & she does.
07/06/03 - Do not do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same. - G. Bernard Shaw
07/05/03 - Is it possible to be terminally stupid?
07/03/03 - What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo? A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe".
07/02/03 - Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia? Everyone has the same DNA.
07/01/03 - Forget the dog! Beware of the kids?
06/30/03 - You can't be late until you show up.
06/26/03 - The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.
06/24/03 - He said...What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you? She said...Turn sideways and look in the mirror!
06/21/03 - I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
06/20/03 - Don't spray paint downwind from what you are painting and don't use mineral spirits to take the paint off of your face!
06/19/03 - A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
06/18/03 - Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche
06/15/03 - I've learned.... that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes. ~ Andy Rooney
06/14/03 - When using a pressure washer.. don't point it toward yourself..
06/11/03 - I can be one of those bad things that happen to bad people!
06/07/03 - When buying special cut non returnable shades.. not only should you pay attention to the width.. check out the length. :o(
06/03/03 - Most minds are like concrete... all mixed up and permanently set.
06/02/03 - A woman is like a tea bag.. you don't know how strong she is until you put her in hot water.
06/01/03 - Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through the snow. ~ Jeff Valdez
05/30/03 - Dogs come when they are called; cats take a message and get back to you. ~ Mary Bly
05/28/03 - One of the perks of getting older.. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
05/27/03 - Trust in Allah, but tie your camel. ~ Arabian proverb
05/23/03 - I'd like to live as a poor man with lots of money. ~ Pablo Picasso
05/22/03 - NEWSPAPER HEADLINES IN THE YEAR 2035 ~ Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria, Iraq and Lebanon).
05/21/03 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
05/20/03 - What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
05/15/03 - What do men and sperm have in common? They both have one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.
05/13/03 - Q. How can you tell when a man is well-hung? A. When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.
05/08/03 - How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? We don't know; it's never happened.
05/07/03 - Why are married women heavier than single women? Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
05/06/03 - He said...Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She said...That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart. *S*
05/05/03 - The dead might as well try to speak to the living as the old to the young. ~ Willa Cather
05/04/03 - Put cotton in your ears and pebbles in your shoes. Pull on rubber gloves. Smear vaseline over your glasses, and there you have it: Instant old age. ~ Malcolm Cowley
05/03/03 - No matter how long he lives, no man ever becomes as wise as the average woman of forty-eight. ~ H.L. Mencken
05/02/03 - We all know how the size of sums of money appears to vary in a remarkable way according as they are being paid in or paid out. ~ Julian Huxley
05/01/03 - I am not young enough to know everything. ~ Oscar Wilde
04/30/03 - Seek out that particular mental attribute which makes you feel most deeply and vitally alive, along with which comes the inner voice which says, "This is the real me," and when you have found that attitude, follow it. ~ William James
04/28/03 - If wrinkles must be written upon our brows, let them not be written upon the heart. The spirit should never grow old. ~ James Garfied, U.S. President
04/27/03 - Inside every seventy-year-old is a thirty-five-year-old asking "What happened?" ~ Ann Landers
04/26/03 - Most of us don't know what we want, but we're pretty sure we don't have it.
04/25/03 - If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. ~ Aristotle Onassis
04/24/03 - Most people don't act stupid: it's the real thing.
04/23/03 - Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few. ~ George Bernard Shaw
04/22/03 - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. - Saddam Hussein
04/21/03 - All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner. - Red Skelton
04/20/03 - Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
04/19/03 - Democracy encourages the majority to decide things about which the majority is ignorant. ~ John Simon
04/18/03 - Wars teach us not to love our enemies, but to hate our allies. ~ W. L. George
04/17/03 - Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function. ~ Garrison Keillor
04/16/03 - Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.
04/15/03 - No country has suffered so much from the ruins of war while being at peace as the American. ~ Edward Dahlberg
04/14/03 - War is hell and all that, but it has a good deal to recommend it. It wipes out all the small nuisances of peace-time. ~ Ian Hay
04/13/03 - Seven prisoners of war were recovered today north of Baghdad and all are in relatively good condition. This makes for a very good day. :o)
04/12/03 - NEWSPAPER HEADLINES IN THE YEAR 2035 ~ Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
04/11/03 - Politics is war without bloodshed while war is politics with bloodshed. ~ Mao Tse-Tung (1893 - 1976)
04/08/03 - It's too bad Jacques Chirac wasn't having dinner with Saddam Hussein last night.
04/02/03 - You know the world is off tilt, when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest basketball player is Chinese, and Germany doesn't want to go to war. ~ Charles Barkley
03/30/03 - I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones. Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)
03/29/03 - War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse. The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself. John Stuart Mill
03/28/03 - You can't say that civilization don't advance, however, for in every war they kill you in a new way. ~ Will Rogers
03/27/03 - Never, never, never believe any war will be smooth and easy, or that anyone who embarks on the strange voyage can measure the tides and hurricanes he will encounter. The statesman who yields to war fever must realize that once the signal is given, he is no longer the master of policy but the slave of unforeseeable and uncontrollable events. ~ Sir Winston Churchill
03/26/03 - A general is just as good or just as bad as the troops under his command make him. ~ Douglas Macarthur
03/25/03 - I am convinced that the best service a retired general can perform is to turn in his tongue along with his suit, and to mothball his opinions. ~ General Omar N. Bradley, U.S. Army
03/24/03 - I feel that retired generals should never miss an opportunity to remain silent concerning matters for which they are no longer responsible. ~ General H. Norman Schwarzkopf, U.S. Army
03/19/03 - Definition of a bachelor; a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
03/18/03 - I was really glad to hear from Tom again today.. although a vast majority thought his statements last night were totally assinine, he announced today he was standing by his statements. Hello South Dakota.. anybody home.. ?
03/17/03 - There is something about Tom Daschle that just really pisses me off. I didn't realize I was a Republican until I listened to him for a while. I am beginning to think that he is no better than Jacques Chirac. Maybe we should be boycotting products from South Dakota too. If I lived there I would move. I can't imagine the people of that state putting up with his bullshit statements. Maybe they could become a Canadian Province or a French territory.
03/15/03 - What's the difference between a Northern fairy tale and a Southern fairy tale?
A Northern fairy tale begins "Once upon a time."
A Southern fairy tale begins
"Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit."03/12/03 - See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time. ~ Robin Williams
03/11/02 - Late-night snacks have no calories. The refrigerator light is not strong enough for the calories to see their way into the calorie counter.
03/09/03 - There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL." ~ Lynn Lavner
03/08/03 - If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging. ~ Will Rogers
03/07/03 - I've gone to look for myself, if I should return before I get back, KEEP ME HERE!
03/06/03 - The economy depends about as much on economists as the weather does on weather forecasters. ~Jean-Paul Kauffmann
03/05/03 - I don't like money, actually, but it quiets my nerves. ~ Joe Louis
03/04/03 - Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes it comes alone.
03/03/03 - Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
03/02/03 - Budget: a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions. ~ A.A. Latimer
03/01/03 - An optimist thinks this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears this is true.
02/28/03 - I have yet to hear a man ask advice on how to combine marriage and a career.
02/27/03 - A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
02/26/03 - Ever notice that the people who are late are often much jollier than the people who have to wait for them?
02/24/03 - To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot & love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot & not try to understand her at all.
02/23/03 - Don't confuse what I have just said, with what I mean.
02/22/03 - There will always be death and taxes; however, death doesn't get worse every year.
02/20/03 - Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver. ~ Ambrose Bierce
02/19/03 - Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.
02/18/03 - Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life, thinking they had no faults at all.
02/17/03 - Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
02/16/03 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. ~ Steven Wright
02/15/03 - Sooo.. it was only two weeks.. seems like it was two months! Vacations aren't all they're cracked up to be. I think next time I'll go it alone!
01/30/03 - You've got to dance like nobody's watching, and love like it's never going to hurt. I'm out of here for a month or more.. I'll put something in when I can access a comp. Miss you all!
01/29/03 - Yet the course of this nation does not depend on the decisions of others. Whatever action is required, whenever action is necessary, I will defend the freedom and security of the American people. ~ George W. Bush
01/28/03 - Old age is when former classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald, they don't recognize you.
01/27/03 - Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but she did it backwards and in high heels.
01/24/03 - We all know how the size of sums of money appears to vary in a remarkable way according as they are being paid in or paid out. ~Julian Huxley
01/22/03 - NEWSPAPER HEADLINES IN THE YEAR 2035 ~ Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights. I don't think we have to wait 32 years for this one..
01/21/03 - We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give. ~ Norman MacFinan
01/20/03 - When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
01/19/03 - I'm good at giving advice, not following it!
01/18/03 - The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie. ~ George Deukmejian
01/17/03 - If you can't convince them, confuse them.
01/16/03 - How old would you be, if you didn't know how old you were?
01/15/03 - Anyone who isn't confused really doesn't understand the situation. - Edward R. Murrow
01/13/03 - A "gimme" can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers...neither of whom can putt very well.
01/11/03 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up. ~ Steven Wright
01/08/03 - The difficulties of life are intended to make us better, not bitter. ~ Unknown
01/07/03 - Be aware that a halo has to fall only a few inches to be a noose. - Dan McKinnon
01/05/03 - NEWSPAPER HEADLINES IN THE YEAR 2035 ~ Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
01/04/03 - Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. - Will Rogers
01/03/03 - Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft... Today, it's called golf.
01/02/03 - NEWSPAPER HEADLINES IN THE YEAR 2035 ~ White minorities still trying to have English recognized as California's third language.