12/31/99 - Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up. - Robert Frost
12/29/99 - A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer. - Robert Frost
12/28/99 - Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else. - Will Rogers
12/25/99 - Children should be like waffles--you should be able to throw the first one away. - Mary Alice Messenger
12/20/99 - Don't mistake pleasure for happiness. They're a different breed of dog. - Josh Billings
12/19/99 - Conversation is the slowest form of human communication. - Anonymous
12/18/99 - Don't play dumb. You're not as good at it as I am. - Colonel Flagg - MASH
12/11/99 - Today I will stumble into the next phase of my life.. it is yet to be seen how hard I will fall.
12/10/99 - Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way. - Anonymous
12/09/99 - Don't be so humble, you're not that great. - Golda Meir
12/08/99 - Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said. - Anonymous
12/07/99 - Cheer up, the worst is yet to come. - Philander Johnson
12/06/99 - Do what you feel in your heart to be right, for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do and damned if you don't. - Eleanor Roosevelt
12/05/99 - Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners. - Anonymous
12/04/99 - Ask yourself whether you are happy and you cease to be so. - John Stuart Mill
12/03/99 - Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. - Oscar Wilde
11/24/99 - Being in therapy is great. I spend an hour just talking about myself. It's kinda like being the guy on a date. - Caroline Rhea
11/23/99 - Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family does too. - Anonymous
11/22/99 - Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said; after marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish saying it. - Helen Rowland
11/06/99 - All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That is his. - Oscar Wilde
11/05/99 - America is the country where you buy a lifetime supply of aspirin for one dollar, and use it up in two weeks. - Anonymous
11/04/99 - An optimist is a guy that has never had much experience. - Donald R. Perry Marquis
11/03/99 - Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo. - Al Gore
11/02/99 - An asylum for the sane would be empty in America. - Anonymous
11/01/99 - Ah Mozart! He was happily married - but his wife wasn't. - Victor Borge
10/30/99 - Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't. - Erica Jong
10/29/99 - All marriages are happy. It's living together afterwards that is difficult. - Anonymous
10/28/99 - A budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money, as well as afterward. Anonymous
10/27/99 - A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain. - Robert Frost
10/22/99 - When I die, I hope they don't auction off all of my stuff.
10/19/99 - It's one of those days where it's best that I don't share my thought for the day with the world wide web! (I'm fine Jackie)
10/18/99 - If you put your mind to it, there is nothinng that you can't do.
10/12/99 - We can't change the past... but we can gather up it's lessons and move on, stronger and wiser.
10/11/99 - Happiness does not depend on material posessions.
10/07/99 - Jackie...I lost your email address... life is good.. not even one complaint! Well.. maybe one.. the tv was broken when it got here and I had to pay $85 Duty & taxes to get it! Send me something so I have your email address.
10/06/99 - I've learned that.....you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them. - Jackie
10/04/99 - Everyone is entitled to their fair share of space.. some of us just need more than others.
09/10/99 - I finally realized that other people are simply going to be exactly the way they are, regardless of my opinion about them.
09/09/99 - Emotions are choices.
09/08/99 - How do you save a man from drowning? Take your foot off his head.
09/07/99 - Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant. - Unknown
09/06/99 - Subtlety: the art of saying what you want to say and getting out of range before it is understood. - Unknown
09/05/99 - Reverse every natural instinct and do the opposite of what you are inclined to do, and you will probably come very close to having a perfect golf swing. - Ben Hogan
09/04/99 - All men are animals... some just make better pets.
09/03/99 - People treat you how you allow them to treat you.
09/02/99 - Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it. - Unknown
08/17/99 - Being broke is a temporary situation. Being poor is a state of mind. - Mike Todd
08/12/99 - Golf is an ideal diversion but a ruinous disease. - B. C. Forbes
07/31/99 - The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. - Andrew A. Rooney
07/30/99 - Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
07/29/99 - Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
07/28/99 - Attitudes are contagious! Is your worth catching?
07/27/99 - If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise. - Unknown
07/26/99 - We tend to judge others by their behaviors and ourselves by our intentions. - Covey
07/25/99 - When someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles to frown, but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and smack them in the head. - Storm
07/23/99 - In life we cannot avoid change, we cannot avoid loss. Freedom and happiness are found in the flexibility and ease with which we move through change. - Buddha
07/22/99 - Ignorance: what everybody has... only in different subjects. - Will Rogers
07/14/99 - Every 'disaster' in your life is not so much a 'disaster' as a situation waiting for you to change your mind about it. - Andrew Matthews
07/09/99 - In dog years, I'm dead. - Unknown
07/08/99 - "They're multipurpose. Not only do they put the clips on, but they take them off." Pratt & Whitney spokesperson explaining why the company charged the Air Force nearly $1,000 for an ordinary pair of pliers.
07/07/99 - At twenty years of age, the will reigns; at thirty, the wit; and at forty, the judgement. Benjamin Franklin
07/06/99 - When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey
07/05/99 - Your gene pool needs a little chlorine.
07/04/99 - Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein
07/02/99 - The shortest time spent on this earth touches the most hearts.
06/27/99 - Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers
06/26/99 - Hang on loosely.
06/25/99 - The worst lies are the ones we tell ourselves.
06/24/99 - The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.
06/23/99 - Same shit... different day.
06/22/99 - Always remember you're unique...Just like everyone else.
06/21/99 - Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
06/20/99 - The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
06/19/99 - What I said wasn't necessarily what you heard.
06/18/99 - Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an asshole.
06/17/99 - WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
06/16/99 - I am the kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy. - JD Salinger
06/15/99 - Don't drink and drive...You might hit a bump and spill your drink.
06/14/99 - DON'T PISS ME OFF! I'M RUNNING OUT OF PLACES TO HIDE THE BODIES.
06/13/99 - You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you!
06/12/99 - 100,000 sperm and YOU were the fastest?
06/11/99 - We are born naked, wet, and hungry....Then things get worse.
06/10/99 - I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
06/09/99 - Death meant little to me. It was the last joke in a series of bad jokes. - Charles Bukowski
06/08/99 - The more things change, the more they stay the same.
06/07/99 - Believe those who are seeking the truth; doubt those who find it. - Andrew Gide
06/06/99 - They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. Golf is more complicated than that. - Gardner Dickinson
06/05/99 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
06/04/99 - Love is a cunning weaver of fantasies and fables.
06/03/99 - And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more. - Erica Jong
06/02/99 - The only thing I know is true is what I can see and feel. R. Yeo
06/01/99 - When your dreams turn to dust, vacuum. - Dr. Robert Anthony
05/31/99 - There is more to life than increasing its speed. - Mahatma Gandhi
05/30/99 - Life sucks most of the time.. the rest of the time, it really sucks!
05/29/99 - Stress management... Picture yourself very near a stream.... Birds are softly chirping in the crisp, cool mountain air. Nothing can bother you here.... No one knows this secret place.... You are in total seclusion from that place called 'the world..... The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity..... The water is clear...... You can easily make out the face of the person whose head you are holding under the water....... There, now, don't you feel better?
05/17/99 - The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
05/16/99 - Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired. - Robert Frost
05/15/99 - Two roads diverged in a woods, and I.. I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. - Robert Frost
05/14/99 - Income tax returns: the most imaginative fiction written today. - Herman Wouk
05/13/99 - Love is a state in which a man sees things most decidedly as they are not. - Friedrich Nietzsche
05/12/99 - Sometimes it is wiser to take a step back into the darkness than to step forward into the light.
05/11/99 - We matter. Yesterday doesn't.
05/10/99 - Anyone who likes Star Trek should be shot. - Slurp
05/09/99 - I like not only to be loved, but to be told that I am loved; the realm of silence is large enough beyond the grave. - George Eliot
05/08/99 - Love is a serious mental disease. - Plato
05/07/99 - There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. That little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative. - W. Clement Stone
05/06/99 - Shoot me before I get old... but let me live until then.
05/05/99 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
05/04/99 - In golf as in life it is the follow through that makes the difference. - Unknown
05/03/99 - Never mistake motion for action. - Ernest Hemingway
05/02/99 - Dreams say what they mean, but they don't say it in daytime language. -Gail Godwin
05/01/99 - The nation ought to have a tax system which looks like someone designed it on purpose. - William E. Simon
04/30/99 - The United States is the only country where it takes more brains to figure your tax than to earn the money to pay it. - Edward J. Gurney
04/29/99 - It's good to be positive. - Slurp
04/28/99 - Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
04/27/99 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
04/26/99 - A vacation frequently means that the family goes away for a rest, accompanied by mother, who sees that the others get it. - Marcelene Cox
04/25/99 - My dreams were all my own; I accounted for them to nobody; they were my refuge when annoyed -- my dearest pleasure when free. -Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley
04/24/99 -Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake. - Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower
04/23/99 - There is nothing wrong with making mistakes. Just don't respond with encores. - Unknown
04/22/99 - Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives. -Charles William Dement
04/21/99 - To make mistakes is human; to stumble is commonplace; to be able to laugh at yourself is maturity. - William A. Ward
04/20/99 - Half our mistakes in life arise from feeling where we ought to think, and thinking where we ought to feel. - John Churton Collins
04/19/99 - I don't know, I don't care, and it doesn't make any difference! - Jack Kerouac
04/18/99 - In England we only see Psychiatrists if we've gone completely mad. It seems every other person in the States sees one. - Slurp
04/17/99 - When it comes to finances, remember that there are no withholding taxes on the wages of sin. - Mae West
04/16/99 - I wouldn't mind paying taxes -- if I knew they were going to a friendly country. - Dick Gregory
04/15/99 - If Patrick Henry thought that taxation without representation was bad, he should see how bad it is with representation. - Farmer's Almanac
04/06/99 - Vacation is what you take when you can't take what you've been taking any longer. - The Lion
04/05/99 - Trust is something easily spoken of, but hard to come by.
04/04/99 - The reality of any place is what its people remember of it. - Charles Kuralt
04/03/99 - If at first you screw up... try to catch a clue.
04/02/99 - Never say whoa in the middle of a hard pull. - Steve
04/01/99 - Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you. - Carl Sandburg
03/31/99 - Live your life while you have it ~ there is nothing small about it. - Florence Nightengale
03/30/99 - I believe the art of living consists not so much in complicating simple things as in simplifying things that are not. - Francois Hertel
03/29/99 - I've taken my fun where I've found it. - Rudyard Kipling
03/28/99 - Spoken words fly away; written words remain. - Latin proverb
03/27/99 - Live all you can; it is a mistake not to. It doesn't so much matter what you do in particular, so long as you have had your life. If you haven't had that, what have you had? - Henry James
03/26/99 - If one is lucky, a solitary fantasy can totally transform one million realities. - Maya Angelou
03/25/99 - The best way to make your dream come true is to wake up. - J.M. Power
03/24/99 - Happiness is a way station between too little and too much. - Channing Pollock
03/23/99 - Life itself is the proper binge. - Julia Child
03/22/99 - Nine out of ten people like chocolate, the tenth person always lies. - John G. Tillius
03/21/99 - I want to live in a house without a kitchen.
03/20/99 - The beginning is the most important part of the work. - Plato
03/19/99 - Golf is good for the soul. You get so mad at yourself you forget to hate your enemies. - Will Rogers
03/18/99 - Be kind to yourself... you're all you've really got.
03/17/99 - Failure is success if we learn from it. - Malcomb S. Forbes
03/16/99 - Golf has probably kept more people sane than psychiatrists have. - Harvey Penick
03/15/99 - I leave before being left. I decide. - Brigitte Bardot
02/11/99 - Believe those who are seeking the truth; doubt those who find it. - Andrew Gide
02/10/99 - And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more. - Erica Jong
02/09/99 - I saw the angel in the stone and carved to set it free. - Michelangelo
02/08/99 - I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up. - Mark Twain
02/07/99 - Procrastination gets you nowhere....
02/06/99 - True friends have no solitary joy or sorrow. - William Ellery Channing
02/05/99 - Sometimes you just need to lighten up...destiny is going to guide you anyway.
02/04/99 - There are many persons ready to do what is right because in their hearts they know it is right. But they hesitate, waiting for the other fellow to make the first move.. and he, in turn, waits for you. - Marian Anderson
02/03/99 - If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. - Jack Lemmon
02/02/99 - Do they use sterilized needles for lethal injections?
02/01/99 - Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they worried someone will clean them?
01/31/99 - Go Atlanta!!!
01/30/99 - Learn how to love people and use things, not love things and use people. - unknown
01/29/99 - If a man stands in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him....Is he still wrong?
01/28/99 - Our pains are ours and always more intense than anyone else's. That is not out of a lack of concern for our fellow human, at least not on the most part, it is because nobody can feel our discomforts as much as we can. - R Yeo
01/27/99 - We must teach our children to dream with their eyes open. - Harry Edwards
01/26/99 - Keep smiling, life has it's ups and downs and only we can get past the downs....so turn the :( to a :) - Storm
01/25/99 - I'll know I'm getting better at golf because I'm hitting fewer spectators. - Gerald Ford
01/24/99 - When you tell the truth, you never have to worry about your lousy memory.
01/23/99 - Zero to Bitch in 1.2 seconds....
01/22/98 - Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
01/21/99 - Men are like coolers...load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.
01/20/99 - It's not how long a man lives, but how well he uses the time allotted him. - Martin Luther King, Jr
01/19/99 - If it was meant to be, it will be. - Daisy Yeo
01/18/99 - If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
01/17/99 - "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
01/16/99 - Reality is an illusion created by a lack of alcohol. - Slurp
01/15/99 - How has retirement affected my golf game? A lot more people beat me now. - Dwight D. Eisenhower
01/14/98 - They say "practice" makes perfect. Of course, it doesn't. For the vast majority of golfers it merely consolidates imperfection. - Henry Longhurst
01/13/99 - How does a man show he's planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
01/12/99 - A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.
01/11/98 - Why is it hard for women to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking? Because those men already have boyfriends. Ouch!
01/10/99 - Tempt not the stars, young man, thou canst not play With the severity of fate. - John Ford
01/09/99 - Be careful what you wish for...it maybe bigger than you can handle and may cost you everything... the only thing that truly counts is a loyal friend. - M. Wickwire
01/08/99 - There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman.. before marriage & after marriage.
01/07/99 - Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
01/06/99 - It took me 17 years to get 3,000 hits, but I did it in one afternoon on the golf course. - Hank Aaron
01/05/99 - Just when you think you have things figured out, the rules change!
01/04/99 - Putting allows the touchy golfer two to four opportunities to blow a gasket in the short space of two to forty feet. - Tommy Bolt (This one's for you Jim! *L*)
01/03/99 - It is never easy reaching for dreams, but those who do walk in stardust.
01/02/99 - My mouth feels like the inside of a shepherd's sandal, or the bottom of a birdcage. - Slurp.. hungover...
01/01/99 - Everyone is right coming from where they're coming from. - Brad Pitt
