Have you ever had one of those days where everyone around you seems to have
an I.Q. less than zero? Did you ever wonder where these people came from? Well
then this page is for you. Here I will reveal to you the secrets of the stupid,
who are to stupid to not want you to know.
You see, stupid people weren't born into families like you and me, they were
raised on farms with others of their kind. On these farms, they were taught intricate skills to
help them achieve their utmost goal: complete stupidity. Within a few years, they mature into a full-grown stupid person. It is at this time
that they are sent into the world to annoy people like you and me. The worst thing
about this epidemic is that their stupidity is contagious. It's not enough that we
have to live with these people, but to have them infest us with their idiocy is just
going too far. These people must be stopped! Their legions are growing every day, even as you read this. But who could be so
twisted to think of such an incredulous idea? Obviously not the stupid people,
they're too stupid. It can only be the farmers. But
who are the farmers? For such an evil scheme as this, it could only be one
collective group of people: Big Brother. Unless you're stupid, or just largely unaware of what's been going on in the world
for the last 30 years or so, you would know that Big Brother is the government.
Of course! It's so pain stakingly simple! Chemical Warfare is to direct an
approach to hindering other nations, especially in a time of peace. So instead, they
infiltrate other countries with stupid people. But something went horribly wrong during the 60's. An error accord while
transferring a herd of stupid people to a farm outside of a small town in Northern
California called Cobb. Somehow an error accord and the stupid people escaped.
They ended up in San Francisco on Haight-Ashbury. Now the stupid people, being very stupid by design, decided to hide from Big
Brother, which was amazingly smart on their part. Except they were too stupid to
think of individual designs for each person. Instead, they met a homeless person
who hadn't washed his clothes in quite some time, which made them an array of
colors. All the stupid people decided that they could keep a low profile if they
emulated him, thus the hippies came about over night. The stupid people, having no technical skills whatsoever, resorted to using the
only skill that they ever learned while living on the farms. They started to grow
their special crops, which the government taught them how to grow and harvest.
This crop was introduced to many that liked it so much that they began offering
to pay the stupid people in exchange for it. Thus the stupid people unwittingly got
means for support and introduced marijuana in mass quantities to the youth of
America. Amazingly enough, about once a decade, at least one stupid person realizes the
need to change before Big Brother catches on. He then spends most of his time
convincing other people that they need to change too. Thus the trends of the 60's,
70's, 80's (plus 90's) began. The 70's brought about the disco era, the 80's brought
about poofy hair, spandex, bad music, and Mtv (which was the cause of most
people getting infested with stupidity). And now, the 90's have brought about a
more diverse array of stupid people. They have seemed to split up into different
sects, especially since they have mated and have had
offspring. Only a few of the different sects have been noted such as:
gangsta rappers (especially wannabes, these are usually normal people who have
been infested with stupidity through the use of inventions such as radios and t.v.s), teeny boppers, preps,
alterna-punks, and rockablies. There are also current events that have happened
directly, if not caused by, stupid people, such as: political correctness, aliens,
Watergate, the Clinton administration, Seinfeld, and the major increase of the
deficit. There are more acts that are caused by the stupid people, but they are so
horrid and time-consumingly stupid, that it would shock you into a fit of stupidity
of learned of them. When the herd of stupid people escaped, the government immediately went to
work making plans to retrieve them. They knew that in less than three days, most
of the citizens of San Francisco would be infested. But the sick and twisted minds
of the government thought they could use this to their advantage. You see, a lot of
the tourists in San Francisco came from other countries, thus they would be
exposed to the stupid people and carry the stupidity back to their own countries.
But in doing so, they infested most of America with stupidity at the same time. During the late 80's the farms were destroyed when the project was given to a new
government official after the first person that was in charge killed himself. The
new head officer had thought the old leader was incredibly stupid. He put two and
two together and decided the way to kill the stupid people was to have them kill
themselves. The way to do this, he decided, was to make them so sadistically
depressed, that they would not have any reason to want to live. Hence goths and
Black metal came about. But, as most thing concerning the government usually
do, something went terribly wrong. The means they were using to make the goths
unbearably depressed caused other people who were not infested with stupidity to
become unbearably depressed as well. These seemed to be the people who were
the leaders on the suicide charts. Others who were infested just became goths and
succumbed to their stupidity. Thus another tragic tragedy scarred the pages of Big
Brothers history with the stupid people. If you happen to know any stupid people please be carefully! Their stupidity is
highly contagious. I would highly suggest lots of caution before attempting to
help cure these people from their stupidity. They do not believe they are stupid,
therefore they would not understand your intent. They would berate you with
frivolous questions and meaningless babble about absolutely nothing that
concerns you. Please be careful. If you know any stupid people, or if you need
advice on how to help decrease their stupidity, please contact me at:
