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Jury Arisugawa's Diary
Chapter 1: Mystery Letters, Student Councils, and Smug Bastards

Week 1, Wednesday
Touchés: 4 (only fenced with Miki, since practices haven't yet begun), Times Stared at Locket: 10 (not v.g.)

And a new school year begins in Ohtori. I'm sure the thrill will collapse any moment now.

No, really, I shouldn't be so cynical, as there isn't much to be cynical about.


It's just all this happy back-to-school cheer is bringing my memories back to other first days of school. Every day, Shiori used to greet me after summer vacation, waiting for me by the fountain... but no no no no, I promised myself, I am NOT going to obsess. Besides, it's been a whole year since she transferred to another school, a whole year since I've been...

No no no, shut up, Jury. Anyway. Speaking of transfer students, I heard there's a new transfer student in the Junior High that the girls are all googly over, although there are mixed reports as to whether said student is a girl or boy. That's got to be interesting. Maybe some sort of weird transvestite thing. It might be nice to have some new people around, regardless, especially if they shake things up a little. Heaven knows most of the old blood hasn't changed much. Miki's sister is still psychotic. Smug Bastard Kiryuu's sister is still psychotic. Saionji's still psychotic. The music teacher's still a vile pedophile. The vice principal is still trying to get me to "have lunch" with him. Shiori's still not here, and she still isn't...

Oh for crying out loud, Arisugawa, shut up already.

Yes, really, there's so many otherthings to be thinking about. I've got the team captaincy to worry about, for one thing. Have to get the fencing team in fine form; hopefully we'll make the nationals again. Miki's young but enthusiastic; makes for a good underli... assistant. Not much from Ruka in the way of what was left behind for the captain to deal with; only thing I have is a note he sent telling me he'd left my spare épée in his locker, since he couldn't remember the combination to mine. Hmph. You'd think he'd send something more but... never mind. I know some things were a bit... awkward before he had to leave (and all his own damn fault), but you'd think... anyway.

Ruka's left a vacancy in the Student Council (they're also looking for a junior member, so two vacancies total). Maybe more student leadership positions will be a good thing... if nothing else, maybe I'll have more leverage to keep the vice principal from staring at my ass whenever he thinks I'm not looking. And moreover, it's one more thing to keep me busy, keep my mind off of... certain people. Odd thing is though, no one's very clear on how one goes about being elected to the council. Wonder how one goes about doing it?

Week 2, Monday
Touchés: 15, Times stared at locket: 12 (bastard mystery letter writing bastard)

Have received strange letter from some pretentious ass calling himself "End of the World." Would disregard it except contains very personal material.

End of the World knows about Shiori. Moreover, about just why her leaving hurt me so much, not just why everyone else thinks it did.

End of the World promises that if I "fight" for him I could gain the power (strength, perhaps?) to win her. Or cut her free from my heart forever. It promises miracles.

Am tempted to shove promise in End of World's face, if only knew who it was. End of World left no return address. Wonder how I am supposed to reply?

Week 3, Monday
Touchés: 17, Times Stared at Locket: 6 (better)

"So," Smug Bastard Kiryuu said, sitting down next to me at lunchtime, "How come you're the only girl here who won't go out with me?"

"Because I know you're a flaming fairy," I said to him. "And no matter how many girls you fuck, that isn't going to change."

He smiled in full Smug Bastard mode, refusing to relent to what I thought was a very good retort (largely because I one hundred percent believe that it is true). "Oh," he said, "I thought it was because you're still in love with Shiori."

I took several moments to control my arm muscles, so as not to inadvertently grab and ram a nearby chair into his testicles. The cafeteria is an innappropriate place for such violence, and I am trying to be a better role model this year, after all.

"So," I said, after I was certain I had complete control of my voice, "Did you send me that letter yesterday?"

Kiryuu laughed. "Of course not. I could not make such promises." He looked at me, almost seriously. "But End of the World can."

I told Smug Bastard Kiryuu I thought he and End of World were full of it. But Kiryuu sounded quite convinced that End of World could offer some very special things (probably gives Kiryuu some very special things anyway, if you know what I mean).

"I doubt his miracle could exist," I said.

Kiryuu smiled and handed me a ring with the Ohtori crest upon it, the kind all the council members wear. "Then prove him wrong." He got up to leave. "Or..." the Smug Bastard Smile was there again, full blast, "Is your sword not up to the challenge?"

Damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn.

Week 4, Sunday
Touchés: 3 (brief practice with Miki), Times Stared at Locket: 3 (g), Times Miki dropped furniture on feet: 2

Moved to snazzy little Council Member suite. Membership has its priveleges, I suppose, although I'm still a bit... awed? puzzled? bemused? about membership requirements, however. According to Student Handbook: "Student Council members are chosen among Ohtori's accomplished and elite, nominated by students and approved by the Board of Trustees, to govern their peers and represent them to the community at large." In reality, we are apparently chosen by "End of the World" to be "Duellists" to fight for some "Miracle Power." I have the second highest GPA in my class and am fencing captain, but this seems to have nothing to do with my being chosen. Rather, based on the letters so far, being chosen to be one of the "representatives and governors of my peers" has to do with my being a half-closeted queer suffering from unrequited love. This school is making less and less sense every day.

Anyway... back to the suite... kind of ironic that the first year I manage to manipulate my way into getting a single, I am led to give it up for something that is nicer that was pretty much just handed to me. Sort of frustrating for all the work I did. Well, the single's open for someone else now... hope some nice quiet girl gets it.

Anyway, the suite is very nice, and quite big, with private bath... you know what that means: private showers with no one flushing the damn toilet right as you're rinsing your hair!

Smug Bastard gets a whole damn house, though. But then, I suppose he needs more room so as to actually be able to be on one side of the house and not hear Nanami screeching on the other side.

Also regarding membership priveleges: Picked out council uniform. It seems we get to choose the color of our pants (which, incidentally,was a nice coral that offsets the color of my hair). What amazing power we wield, we and our pants-color-picking selves. End of the World's generosity knows no bounds.

Week 4, Monday
Touchés: 17, Times Stared at Locket: 5

First council meeting...

Do not understand why Smug Bastard Kiryuu needs to make a dramatic speech about an egg while in elevator; he must be very proud of himself for having read Herman Hesse all by himself. Organ music is a nice touch.

Introduced to "Rose Bride." Kind of creepy girl. Apparently the miracle is inside her. My skepticism is rising. What do we get to do, cut it out of her after we win?

Touga says since he's president he gets to start off "possessing her." I told him he was a schmuck. He told me he accepted my challenge. Jesus.

Week 4, Wednesday
Touchés 20, Times Stared at Locket 4, Duels Won 1

Smug Bastard Kiryuu forgot he can't use Magic Sexy AngstBoy Charm on me. Cut off a nice lock of his pretty red hair along with his pretty red rose, and for once I got to look smug at him. Ha!

All downhill from there, though.

Himemiya showed up at my house, helped herself to my bedroom, and sat on the bed giving me a big vacant smile.

Think I may sleep on couch instead.

All this and my first big English exam comes up tomorrow.

Week 4, Thursday
Touchés: 8 (shoulder stiff from sleeping on couch), Times Stared at Locket: 6, English Exams Bombed Due to Lack of Sleep and Study: 1

Rose Bride has habit of making irritating utterances just at the time when I am remembering something unpleasant. Usually about Shiori. I asked her if she couldn't just rub a little more salt into things. She smiled blithely and handed me a salt-shaker and asked me where I wanted it rubbed. I am this close to smacking the girl.

On the upside, she does keep the place pretty clean.

Week 5, Wednesday
Touchés 10 (shoulder recovering), Times Stared at Locket 6

You know, "the dog ate my homework" is bad enough, but the "monkey ate my homework" is even worse.

Especially when it's what actually happened.

Week 6, Monday
Touchés: 10 (shoulder now stiff from clenching muscles to refrain from slapping Anthy), Times Stared at Locket: 5

Must get rid of monkey before entire house is eaten.

Week 7, Tuesday
Touchés: 14 (shoulder better), Times Stared at Locket: 4, Duels Lost: 1 (intentional)

2 p.m.
Saionji had unfavorable kendo match with Touga. Now wants to beat girl that beat Touga to prove he still has testosterone. Fine by me.

4:30 p.m.
Threw duel without making Saionji suspicious (not too hard, considering his blinding ego when it comes to his swordsmanship). Will spend rest of evening cleaning cookie crumbs left by damn monkey.

Week 7, Friday
Touchés 15 (getting back up there), Times Stared at Locket 5

Forgot Saio was such a bastard. Perhaps shouldn't have thrown duel.


In worse news, however, Smug Bastard announced he found final member for council. Turned out to be my Miki. Promised Smug Bastard if Miki got hurt I would remove Smug Bastard's testicles with Anthy's pruning shears. Smug Bastard said I was too protective and should avoid being like Kozue. Made mental note to hire minions to pour glue into Smug Bastard's shampoo.

Saio, Smug Bastard, Miki and I all took field trip to arena. With all four rings, big upside-down castle appeared out of nowhere. More impressive than Disney, even.

Despite all of the irritation... guess I'm in this for the long run.



Go to
Prologue: Resolutions for Sophomore Year

Chapter 2: The New Girl

Chapter 3: Why Can't I Remember Any of This?

Chapter 4: Never Trust a Man in a Sportscar

Chapter 5: It's the End of the World (and I Feel Almost Mildly Optimistic)


Death Quaker's Realm All original materials © 2003 R. Pickard. Revolutionary Girl Utena and all related concepts belong to Chiho Saito, Be-Papas, Shogakukan, Shokaku, TV Tokyo
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