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The All-Tenchi Tentacle Porn Hoedown
by Kzinfuzz (kzinfuzz@comcast.net")
This stemmed off of Kzinfuzz's original Tentacle Porn Hoedown, which was inspired by the Hoedown Game on Whose Line Is It Anyway?. This one has verses for every major Tenchi character

(Performed by the Masaki household, assisted by Kagato on piano)

I am the very model of a modern samurai.
Sadly all my girlfriends have a tendency to die.
Fighting horny demons, you must be very brave.
To save one for my grandson, I sealed her in a cave.

Because I am a demon, it makes me really sad.
When it comes to sex I wish Tenchi was like his dad.
I get all wet and naked, and beg him please to stay.
He looks at me in terror and then quickly runs away.

Living with Ryoko is like tentacle porn.
She grabs me when I'm sleeping and often changes form.
She wants to get me in the sack. I really am afraid.
As much as GPs busting me upon a panty raid.

I am Tenchi's father and I am here to say
That I like demon pornos in a very special way.
I chart my son's development. Each day I'm getting worse.
At least there's more babes in my house since Tenchi Universe!

The reputation demons get, it really is a shame.
Because of all my research I know hormones are to blame.
If they hump you, you might come apart. But if you do,
Have no fear because I have invented super glue!

I like tentacle pornos. They really are a scream.
With all those wiggly wieners, squirting shaving cream. (Kiyone, spoken in background: That's not shaving cream, Mihoshi)
You'd think I'd be a magnet with my big and bouncy chest.
But if you try to rape me you'll be put under arrest!

"I'll get rid of Mihoshi," I thought, "this time for good.
I'd throw her in a pit that's full of demons sporting wood."
I thought it was my big chance. She'd finally be dead.
But by a strange coincidence, I fell in instead!

I found a hentai movie on Noboyuki's shelf.
I thought that I would watch it, and judge it for myself.
But when I went to watch it my sis took it away.
She ran off with the VCR and wasn't seen all day.

I've never seen tentacle porn. I hear it's rather gross.
A proper royal princess uses whips and chains and ropes
To scold you when you're naughty and force you to repent.
Be sure to call me "Princess" and accept your punishment!

Mya mya mya mya mya mya mya, mya mya mya mya mya mya. (points at her mouth)
Mya mya mya mya Mya mya mya, mya mya mya mya mya MYA. (points between her legs)
Mya mya mya mya mya mya mya, mya mya mya mya mya mya. (points at her bum)
Mya mya mya mya mya mya mya, mya mya mya MYA MYA MYA! (Whips out a carrot and cuddles it lovingly.)

Because I am a goddess I can get it anytime.
But making love to Tenchi would truly be sublime.
He's gonna save the universe because my secret plan
Gather round and watch, girls, while I make Tenchi a man!

Make Tenchi a maaaaaaaaaaannn!

Death Quaker's Realm All original materials © 2003 R. Pickard. Tenchi Muyo! and all related concepts belong to AIC.
Contact: mistress@deathquaker.org