FOR MANY of my early years, say from 1992 to 2008 or so, I was deeply into New Age spirituality and various fringe pursuits, like astrology, Feng Shui, affirmations and harnessing the power of the unconscious mind. I nobly professed myself to be a magician in training and a Spark of Divinity striving to manifest Heaven on Earth and explore the unbound potential of the Fifth Dimension.
+weblog++photo galleries++study english++study japanese++한국어++��{��+
VietnameseThaiBahasa IndonesiaNihongoKorea: Dog Soup and Cat WineIsraelDanskDanskPetal worlds of colour Asakusa Tokyo Japan This something else to think about, from the School of CT (Cognitive Therapy):

Cognitive Behaviour (CB) theorists assert that thoughts are organized into a three-tiered hierarchy. These thoughts are at the core of maintaining the problem, and therefore each level needs to be addressed, analysed, understood and modified.

1. NATS (negative automatic thoughts) are automatic, involuntary thoughts that reside just below the level of consciousness. Here cognitions are subject to greater control. They are easily accessible, malleable and distorted. NATS are triggered by external or internal events. People with LSE perceive many more events or situations in life as being threatening. With the result, the NATS may be triggered excessively.

2. Underlying conditional assumptions or rules - attitudes that is an intrinsic part of an individual's value system or personal philosophy. Some attitudes are positive and functional, however others are destructive and can increase vulnerability to painful mood swings and interpersonal conflicts. These rules have a number of characteristics :- they are cross-situational (unlike the NATS), are learned, culturally determined, idiosyncratic, rigid and resistant to change, linked to powerful emotional responses, are over-generalisations and guaranteed to perpetuate low self-esteem. There are two categories of underlying beliefs (1) the underlying assumptions which are the conditional beliefs (if.then) and (2) the rules or drivers (which are characterised by should and must statements) - these provide the guidelines for how we operate in the world and what we expect to happen to us. The rules are given credibility without being challenged and are derived from the core beliefs. These are almost always represented in a positive way e.g. if people liked me then they would be friendly towards me, as opposed to saying if people don't like me then they won't be friendly towards me and this will take thinking directly to the core issue. The positive slant is thus a defence, a means by which individuals hope to avoid coming face to face with the disturbing core negative beliefs. The more effective these rules are, the more one lives by them and the harder it is to access the core belief for modification.

3. At the heart of self-esteem lie central beliefs about oneself and one's core ideas about the kind of person you are. These beliefs are called schemata, are usually formed in childhood and normally regarded as a statement of fact by the holder. Negative core beliefs are merely distorted opinions, based on self-perception. They become instrumental in shaping our outlook on life and reverberate on all levels. A core belief is cross-situationally activated. Once activated, it produces a cognitive shift away from positive and more realistic cognitions to the negative and the person begins to systematically interpret / distort incoming information to fit into the schemata (the core belief) structure. In this way it's maintenance is secured. The person now feels emotionally disturbed or distressed. Once the disturbance has passed or ameliorated, the negative core belief becomes deactivated and returns to its latent state.

People also behave in ways that will support their core belief - e.g. my not sharing my thoughts regarding my ideas in groups for fear that I will be considered as intellectually inferior. I therefore take precautions to avoid the feared situation and consequently don't promote an opportunity to subject the belief to reality testing.

According to David Burns (Burns 1980) there are 10 common self-defeating core beliefs, viz :

1. Emotional perfectionism - I should always feel happy, confident and in control of my emotions.
2. Performance perfectionism - I must never fail or make a mistake. Individuals feel that they never get to the top of the mountain as there is always another goal somewhere that needs to be achieved.
3. Perceived perfectionism - people will not love and accept me as a flawed and vulnerable human being.
4. Fear of disapproval or criticism (approval addiction) - I need everybody's approval to be a worthwhile person. Here the health of a person's self esteem is dependent upon how people respond to and what they think of him or her.
5. Fear of rejection (love addiction) - If I am not loved, then life is not worth living. Love is seen as a survival need, and whether or not one is loved will influence the health of self-esteem.
6. Fear of being alone (hopelessness) - if I am alone, then I'm bound to feel miserable and unfulfilled. An inability to find happiness within oneself.
7. Fear of failure (achievement addiction) my worthwhileness depends on my achievements (or my intelligence or status or attractiveness).
8. Conflict phobia - people who love each other should not fight.
9. Emotophobia - I should not feel angry, anxious, in inadequate, jealous or vulnerable.
10. Entitlement - people should always be the way I expect them to be. One expects and demands that needs and wants are met by others.

VietnameseThaiBahasa IndonesiaNihongoKorea: Dog Soup and Cat WineIsraelDanskDanskPetal worlds of colour Asakusa Tokyo Japan sunday, june 20, 2004
e y e c o n t a c t
IT IS HOT AS HELL HERE IN JAPAN, AND I FEEL A LITTLE ZOMBYIED OUT, FROM THE HEAT AND HUMIDITY AND STUFF. I went for a walk today, and found a whole new world right near my place, a place only 30 minutes from my house called Nezu, full of old-style temples and old houses and stuff. Cool! Next time I will go with my camera, and take plenty of photos. In the meantime I picked up some new information about how I can transform myself from a "chump" (in the parlage) into a player. Here it goes:

Women use their eyes to communicate interest in a man. Men, on the other hand, will usually avoid eye contact with a woman they are interested in.

Although women say they don't like a man to stare at their bodies, they literally melt when a man they might be interested in looks deeply into their eyes. The man who knows how to use his eyes to convey his interest in a woman will be more successful than the man who avoids looking directly into a woman's eyes. Exchanging eye contact is a critical stage of flirting and expressing interest. By not returning eye contact, you lose what could be a tremendous advantage.

What is the most effective way to look at a woman in a club or bar? You want her to see a sexy gleam in your eye. Look directly into her eyes, and as if you were going to hypnotize her, smile and think to yourself: "I like what I see." Although flirting with a woman should not be an obvious come-on, there is nothing wrong with thinking of her sexually when looking into her eyes.

Using your eyes effectively with a woman has a twofold purpose. First, you express your obvious interest in her. Second, you can observe and read what she is communicating through her eye contact. Looking away after establishing eye contact with a woman implies weakness. When you establish eye contact with her for the first time, let her break the look. You may be uncomfortable, but try it; it works!

THE DOMINANT EYE BY VINCENT

Many men, as well as women, have more or less nervous, flickering eyes and have difficulties keep their eyes focused. On the other hand, the experienced player knows how important it is to maintain prolonged eye contact and to look a woman directly into her eyes. Most players will focus both his eyes on the woman's right eye and that will have a certain effect, but here is my method that you could use to influence and impress women on a further deeper level.

The next time you meet a woman that you want to attract, try to give her the dominant look.

The dominant look has nothing whatsoever to do with looking angry or raising your eye brows, a lot of friendliness is crucial. Instead of using the players look where you focus on one of her eyes, you will now focus both your eyes above her nose directly between her eyes.

Players often uses the phrase "prolonged eye contact", but how long is this exactly?

When you use the dominant look there are certain rules and some of them belongs to the category "Not being a nice guy".

Nice guys always agree to everything women say and if they disagree they are kind of whimpy about it, instead of speaking their mind clearly in a calm fashion. However, there is more to agreeing and disagreeing than merely utterances such as "yes" "um" and head nods. In fact, when you keep eye contact with a person that talks to you, it will also on an unconscious level being perceived as an accept.

The dominant look solves both of these matters to impress and influence the woman and at the same time allows you to be specific in your agreements and disagreements. The trick is that when she talks to you, you move your eyes away from her (bad guy stuff) and every time it is your turn to talk to her you look her right between her eyes and keep your eyes there until its her turn to ad to the conversation.

Now you should think that using this kind of prolonged eye contact would be enough to scare any woman a hundred miles away, but it isn't. Just use it and remember to soften it up with lot of friendliness. The impression that you will leave her with will be calm, steady and curious, but although lively look. She will not only view the experience as if you have looked at her, but she will experience it as if you have looked directly into her soul.

VietnameseThaiBahasa IndonesiaNihongoKorean languageIsraelDanskDanskPetal worlds of colour Asakusa Tokyo Japan monday, june 14, 2004
a s i a k i t c h e n
WELL, I WENT OUT WITH MIYUKI AND AIchan LAST NIGHT, TO ASIAN KITCHEN IN UENO, AND FELT AS THE NIGHT PROGRESSED THAT A NEW ERA IN MY LIFE HAD BEGUN. Whether it was from the bottle of Korean ginseng I had drunk, or from my recent interest in self-help and NLP playerdom, I was much more energetic than usual in trying to direct the night and make it a romantic success. Ai even said to me something along the lines of "you are very genki (energetic) this evening". That was a good sign, because it shows there is some sort of transformation taking place in my life. As I look back at my life, I can't believe I was so passive. Now I know the reason the Miyuki situation has stagnated so long, and taken so long to develop, is that I have failed to put in the effort, and lead the relationship. I have been too shy. I figure the lessons of the past six months are this: if I only changed my approach to life, and became more assertive (which includes creativity, optimism, hope), I would get the relationships I dream of. Now I have realised the lesson, and theme of 2004 (the April Year) becomes clear to me.

The following is a note to myself, written in code, so it won't be understood by other readers. Forget about what follows and move on to the next section, "patterns".

Anyway, the reason why, when I passed the "April" mark in previous years (2001, 2002, 2003) I didn't have the will power to sustain the romantic developments of earlier months (January, February and March). That explains the dreaded "April effect" -- the dropout. And in fact, a state of "dropout" has indeed dominated 2004 thus far, but now a solution is here -- assertive thinking and action! This is what is needed to take things to the next level. So, I am not cursed to be inflicted with dropout conditions for the rest of the April year, and the May and June and July years. My relationships will improve, but I have to be the one to improve them, through my own effort and seductive skill. Whereas, in the January to March years, I got offered all the goods without having to do anything.

So, taking control, taking the lead -- that is my new philosophy. And the next step is to win over Miyuki's hesitations by applying my seductive skills, and establishing more rapport. For now, the way to do this is through emailing. And now it is a rule that whenever I go on a date, I should drink a bottle of Korean ginseng beforehand!

VietnameseThaiBahasa IndonesiaNihongoKorean languageIsraelDanskDanskPetal worlds of colour Asakusa Tokyo Japan sunday, june 13, 2004
p a t t e r n s
IT IS TIME TO MOVE TOWARDS A MORE ADVANCED UNDERSTANDING OF NLP PHILOSOPHY, HAVING ESTABLISHED IN EXPERIMENTS THIS WEEKEND THAT THE EYE ACCESSING CUES DO ACTUALLY WORK, AND IT IS POSSIBLE TO SEE PEOPLE HAVING THOUGHTS AT THE EXACT TIME THEY THINK THEM. I find this Angelfire site which is particularly useful in this regard -- it is called Dan Scorpio NLP, Language Pattern and Consciousness. It is interesting that I always predicted (back in my astrology days) that the period between 2004 and 2009 would be the Scorpio Age of my life, with 2004 and 2005 being the "down" years, the years of preparation and changing mindset, and 2006 to 2009 being the years of putting theory into practice, and scoring with multiple women! Well, into the Scorpio Age, and Dan Scorpio can provide me some tips.

Dan's information about the anchoring of memory immediately answered a question that has consumed me of late -- why do memories of past events (some of them from the distant past) spontaenously arise in the mind, and "flash" across my awareness. Up until I thought this was a random process, and that perhaps some part of my mind was spasming (there was some kind of minute electric jolt), which activated the memory. Dan's website gave me the idea that perhaps these "randomly arising memories" (walking down a street in Australia in 1993, watching the traffic in Bangkok, the smell of my shoddy apartment in downtrodden London) are in fact "anchored" to other stimuli which are currently being activated. This is how it is described on Dan's site:

Memory is associational in all modalities. In other words, to use a simple example of a kinesthetic anchor again, if someone hears the word 'Cat' and simultaneously has their shoulder gripped, then next time - but in entirely different circumstances - that same shoulder is gripped in the same manner they will have a tendency to remember the spoken word 'Cat' and whatever internal image they evoked that was associated with that word at the time the anchor was applied. Yes, true: but is not memory associational in all modalities? So, one might ask, what else was going on at the time 'Cat' was originally anchored by the shoulder grip? Well, perhaps there was that nasty smell hanging around from the pig farm down the road, the subject was smoking a pipe (she really should give up) and had the taste of tobacco in her mouth. The room was really hot (ninety degrees) and she was looking at a Picasso hung on the wall. So, she has the following associations with that experience:'Cat'/Shoulder grip/Pig farm odour/Pipe + Tobacco taste/Being uncomfortably warm/Picasso painting (+other aspects of surroundings). And that's not all. When the word 'Cat' was uttered, let's suppose the woman instantaneously had a visual image of her cat, Hector, sitting on her lap and purring. So, next time she strokes her cat, because the internal states are interlinked - no matter how weakly - she will have some recollection of the odour of the pig farm. Likewise, next time she feels uncomfortably warm, will she think of Picasso, being gripped by the shoulder, her cat and the taste of tobacco. ANYTHING present when an anchor is deliberately applied, and ANYTHING the subject might remember at the time all become reciprocally anchored together: the events also become anchored to previous experiences. [There are, obviously, ways around this - and ways of improving the relative strength of deliberate anchors - for practitioners, in terms of careful environmental control].

As outlined in the simple example above, a shoulder grip can evoke the thought of a cat (and any number of other things): conversely, the thought of 'Cat' will evoke the memory of the shoulder grip. That is a fairly obvious statement of reciprocity, and might appear banal until one explores what lies beyond it and what meaning it has in terms of everyday life. Day to day, human beings tend to behave habitually - live in the same environments, visit the same places, watch the same TV shows, drive the same car for years, interact with the same people. That is in the outside, observable world. Inwardly, we have similar habits - learned habits of language, emotion and thoughts. And here's the rub: in terms of reciprocal or 'reverse' anchoring OUR THOUGHTS CONDITION OUR ENVIRONMENT, and OUR ENVIRONMENT CONDITIONS OUR THOUGHTS. This is not a theory, this is actually observable if the reader is sufficiently alert. Since each of us spends a good part of every day in the non alert state (Aid/Vi internal state of 'thinking) and those thoughts are incidentally anchored by association to concurrent ongoing external events, random associations are being constructed by our nervous systems during such periods. Once these anchors are set, they can work in reverse such that events and spatial locations/objects can fire off certain thoughts. This effect will be particularly pronounced if the thoughts are repetitive in nature and carried out in the same physical location in that a feedback process will occur looping thought with spatial anchor. So next time you are walking past a particular tree and you find some strange though 'pops into your head from nowhere', perhaps you'll be able to understand why - and if you can track it, you perhaps will be able to discover how and when you first made the association.

I have to watch my mind, and see where these associations come from!

VietnameseThaiBahasa IndonesiaNihongoKorean languageIsraelDanskDanskPetal worlds of colour Asakusa Tokyo Japan friday, june 11, 2004
r e i n v e s t m e n t
I AM ALREADY STARTING TO GET SOME GOOD RESULTS FROM THE LAUNCH OF MY SELF-HELP, NLP MASTERY CAMPAIGN. Nonetheless, I have decided, that whenever good results come in, and the good feelings that accompany them, I should reinvest that energy to reap even greater future returns. One idea to recuperate the energy is to "anchor" some of my triumphant emotions in various parts of my body, in the form of gestures (such as a clenched fist) which can be recovered at will. At a future time, when I am attending a job interview for example, and when I need a rush of confidence, I need only clench my fist, and the accumulated weight of triumphant energies will return. I have already started developing my anchors. The left fist will be for romantic triumph, and the right fist will be for business triumph.

Some other hints of wisdom from the NLP universe:

People have a primary processing channel, a secondary channel, and a third channel which is rarely used. We need to ask our interlocutor a question that has a pecificanswer. For example: Ÿhere did you go on holiday last year?ŧrance.Before answering, the eyes will move towards a particular direction, indicating the preferred channel. The Visual looks upwards as if searching for an answer from an imaginary world above the head; the Auditory looks sideways; the Kinaesthetic looks downwards. It is important to catch the exact moment just before the answer as the eyes could then move in different directions, searching in different sensory channels. In this way you will obtain their primary channel or ACCESSING CHANNEL that will allow us to get on the same wavelength as our interlocutor.

The aim of a good communicator is to be able to use the processing channel that is rarely used. But we will not be allowed to do this if we don first follow the sequence in the correct order. In relationships we normally only use the ormantchannel when we are emotionally involved with our interlocutor. It seems clear to me that if we are able to interact with this particular channel, we can emotionally involve the person we face, going well beyond simple understanding.

VietnameseThaiBahasa IndonesiaNihongoKorean languageIsraelDanskDanskPetal worlds of colour Asakusa Tokyo Japan thursday, june 10, 2004
e y e s c a n n i n g
I DID MY FIRST NLP EYE SCAN EXPERIMENT TODAY, AND IT WORKED! It didn't work out the way I thought it would, but I was able to ascertain the thinking pattern of my student Yoshiji Baba, who I have been teaching in Japan for a year or so. Based on the way he frequently looks down when he is thinking, and the way he often closes his eyes when he is thinking, I can infer that he is a "Digital" type (see posts below for an explanation) -- the type who is often conversing with himself in thought form. It is interesting to note that I have had trouble teaching him before, and sometimes find it frustrating to get my point across to him, or to explain something in English. But here is the beauty of NLP -- now I know how he thinks, I can restructure my communication to suit him. Therefore, it will become a better experience for both of us, I can be a better teacher, and can continue to retain him as a customer.

Some NLP links and the four types of thinkers:
Ask Dr. Tracy Love Library
nlp -- instant rapport class
Working With Money

VietnameseThaiBahasa IndonesiaNihongoKorean languageIsraelDanskDanskPetal worlds of colour Asakusa Tokyo Japan wednesday, june 09, 2004
b o d y l a n g u a g e
WELL, I GAVE THE KOKOLOGY TESTS A RUN TODAY, AND GOT SOME PRETTY GOOD AND ACCURATE RESULTS. I think I am on to something -- a new avenue of studying other people, and using my understanding to use life to my advantage. Anything is possible -- wealth, opulence, etc! But it is just the beginning, and there is a long way to go. However, the hardest step is the first step, and after a while, momentum will carry you to your goal.

Here is some information which I want to absorb and internalise, and which I could use to tell if someone was lying to me, for example.

In early 1976, Richard Bandler, John Grinder and their students began to explore the relationship between eye movements and the different senses as well as the different cognitive processes associated with the brain hemispheres.

In 1977 Robert Dilts conducted a study, at the Langley Porter Neuropsychiatric Institute in San Francisco, attempting to correlate eye movements to particular cognitive and neurophysiological processes. Dilts used electrodes to track both the eye movements and brain wave characteristics of subjects who were asked questions related to using the various senses of sight, hearing and feeling for tasks involving both memory ("right brain" processing) and mental construction ("left brain" processing). Subjects were asked a series of questions in eight groupings. Each grouping of questions appealed to a particular type of cognitive processing_visual, auditory, kinesthetic, and emotional (visceral feelings). Each was also geared to either memory (non-dominant hemisphere processing) or construction (dominant hemisphere processing). Dilts' recordings tended to confirm other tests which showed that lateralization of eye movements accompanied brain activity during different cognitive tasks. This pattern also seemed to hold for tasks requiring different senses.

As a result of these studies, and many hours of observations of people from different cultures and racial backgrounds from all over the world, the following eye movement patterns were identified (Dilts, 1976, 1977; Grinder, DeLozier and Bandler, 1977; Bandler and Grinder, 1979; Dilts, Grinder, Bandler and DeLozier, 1980):

Eyes Up and Left: Non-dominant hemisphere visualization - i.e., remembered imagery (Vr).

Eyes Up and Right: Dominant hemisphere visualization - i.e., constructed imagery and visual fantasy (Vc).

Eyes Lateral Left: Non-dominant hemisphere auditory processing - i.e., remembered sounds, words, and "tape loops" (Ar) and tonal discrimination.

Eyes Lateral Right: Dominant hemisphere auditory processing - i.e., remembered sounds and words (Ac) and "tape loops" (such as nursery rhymes), as well as tonal discrimination.

Eyes Down and Left: Internal dialogue, or inner self-talk (Ad).

Eyes Down and Right: Feelings, both tactile and visceral (K).

Eyes Straight Ahead, but Defocused or Dilated: Quick access of almost any sensory information; but usually visual.

Basic NLP Eye Accessing Cues

This pattern appears to be constant for right handed people throughout the human race (with the possible exception of the Basques, whose population appears to contain a fair number of 'exceptions to the rule'). Subsequent studies (Loiselle, 1985 and Buckner, Reese and Reese, 1987) have supported the NLP claim that eye movements both reflect and influence key cognitive componants of thought. Many left handed people, however, tend to be reversed from left to right. That is, their eye accessing cues are the mirror image of those of the average right hander. They look down and left for feelings, instead of down and right. Similarly, they look up and to the right to remember visual imagery, instead of up and to the left, and so on. A small number of people (including ambidextrous and a few right handed people) will be reversed in their some of their eye accessing cues (their visual eye movements, for example), but not the others.

To explore the relationship between eye movements and thinking for yourself, find a partner, ask the following questions, and observe his or her eye movements. For each question keep track of your partner's eye movements in one of the boxes (following the questions below) by using marks, lines or numbers that represent the sequence of positions you observe.

  1. Visual Remembered: Think of the color of your car. What kind of pattern is on your bedspread? Think of the last time you saw someone running. Who were the first five people you saw this morning?
  2. Visual Construction: Imagine an outline of yourself as you might look from six feet above us and see it turning into a city skyline. Can you imagine the top half of a toy dog on the bottom half of a green hippopotamus?
  3. Auditory Remembered: Can you think of one of your favorite songs? Think of the sound of clapping. How does your car's engine sound?
  4. Auditory Constructed: Imagine the sound of a train's whistle changing into the sound of pages turning. Can you hear the sound of a saxophone and the sound of your mother's voice at the same time?
  5. Auditory Digital (Internal Self Talk): Take a moment and listen to the sound of your own inner voice. How do you know it is your voice? In what types of situations do you talk to yourself the most? Think of the kinds of things that you say to yourself most often.
  6. Kinesthetic Remembered: (Tactile) When was the last time you felt really wet? Imagine the feelings of snow in your hands. What does a pine cone feel like? When was the last time you touched a hot cooking utensil? (Visceral/Emotional) Can you think of a time you felt satisfied about something you completed? Think of what it feels like to be exhausted. When was the last time you felt impatient?
  7. Kinesthetic Construction: (Tactile) Imagine the feelings of stickiness turning into the feelings of sand shifting between your fingers. Imagine the feelings of dog's fur turning into the feelings of soft butter. (Visceral/Emotional) Imagine the feelings of frustration turning into the feeling of being really motivated to do something. Imagine the feeling of being bored turning into feeling silly about feeling bored.


It is important to keep in mind, as you are observing and tracking eye movements, that many people will already have habitual eye movements, related to their primary representational modality. A highly visual person may tend to look up and to the left or right, regardless of which sensory modality is assumed by your question. If you ask such a person to think of his or her "favorite song," the person may visualize the cover of the record, tape or CD in order to remember the name of the song. A kinesthetically oriented person may look down and check his or her feelings to determine how he or she feels about several songs in order to know which one is his or her "favorite." Thus it is important to ask people what they actually did in their minds as they were answering the questions in order to get an accurate sense of what their eye movements signified.

Once you feel confident in eye movements as accessing cues, and in your ability to "read" them, there are many ways they can be used. As was mentioned earlier, habitual eye movements reflect a person's preferred sensory modality. If you ask someone, "What is something that is really important to you? Think of it now," the placement of the person's eyes as he or she is answering your question will probably tell you a lot about that person's most valued representational system.

Eye movements can also be used to determine how truthful or congruent a person is being. If a person is describing an event that he or she has witnessed or participated in, for instance, the person's eyes should move primarily to his or her left (if the person is right handed), indicating memory access. If the person looks up and to the right a lot, however, it is likely that the person is constructing or reconstructing some aspect of the experience he or she is describing. This may indicate that the person is either uncertain or being untruthful about what he or she is saying.

The most common application of eye positions in NLP is to determine the representational strategies a person is using in order to think or make a decision. Since many aspects of people's thinking processes are unconscious to them, spontaneous eye movements can be an extremely important part of eliciting and modeling a person's inner strategies for decision making, learning, motivation, memory, etc.

So, there is a lot I can learn from this knowledge, and the great thing is that I will possess this knowledge for the rest of my life. I am sure it will really make a difference, over time. Here is some more knowledge from the school of NLP:

Belief Change Cycle
People often consider the process of changing beliefs to be difficult and effortful. And yet, the fact remains that people naturally and spontaneously change dozens if not hundreds of beliefs during their life. Perhaps the difficulty is that when we consciously attempt to change our beliefs, we do so in a way that does not respect the natural cycle of belief change. We try to change our beliefs by "repressing" them or fighting with them. According to the theory of self organization, beliefs would change through a natural cycle in which the parts of a person's system which hold the existing belief in place become destabilized. A belief could be considered a type of high level attractor around which the system organizes. When the system is destabilized, the new belief may be brought in without conflict or violence. The system may then be allowed to restabilize around a new point of balance or homeostasis.

Organic systems often change through processes that take the form of cycles. While the content of these cycles shift and vary, the deep structure of the cycle stays constant. From the view of systems theory, therapeutic methods involve a structure in which an existing pattern in the 'landscape' is reaccessed and then 'destabilized' by bringing in new insights and perspectives. When new 'attractors' are introduced into this destabilized state, in the form of new understandings and resources, the system naturally and spontaneously reorganizes itself through "associative correction" into a new stable pattern.

This natural cycle of change might be likened to the changing of the seasons. A new belief is like a seed that becomes planted in the Spring. The seed grows into the Summer where it matures, becomes strong and takes root. In the Autumn the belief begins to become outdated and wither, its purpose served. The fruits of the belief, however, (the positive intentions and purposes behind it) are retained or 'harvested', and separated from the parts that are no longer necessary. Finally, in the Winter, the parts of the belief which are no longer needed are let go of and fade away, allowing the cycle to begin again.

VietnameseThaiBahasa IndonesiaNihongoKorean languageIsraelDanskDanskPetal worlds of colour Asakusa Tokyo Japan
monday, june 07, 2004
how to be a winner in life
EVERY NOW AND THEN THERE ARE TIMES WHEN IT IS POSSIBLE TO COMPLETELY CHANGE THE WAY YOU LOOK AT LIFE. Usually, following long periods of discontent, you stumble upon pieces of information which challenge you take a risk, go beyond yourself, out of desperation that you are somehow missing out on life. Suddenly you find it is actually possible, in spite of all your fears, to live differently than you did before. Personality can be changed, little by little, behaviour pattern by behaviour pattern. In the past few days I have encountered one of these learning opportunities -- these transforation portals. And in these past few days, I have already turned around the way I think of myself and my future. Suddenly, after long years of doubt, of resignation that life can't be changed, it is just destiny -- suddenly, anything seems possible now! I can live my dreams! It is all just a matter of attitude. Or actually, it is all a matter of technique -- once you have a good technique, a positive attitude will surely come. All those positive thinking books and New Age religions are missing the point. It is useless to try and change your attitude and confidence if you don't know the right techniques for living. Confidence is the natural result of a successful life, and not the other way round. Actually, it is dangerous to be confident and feeling great when your life is not a resounding success. Pain of any kind is a warning, and poor self esteem is a sign that you living life incorrectly. It is all about technique -- patterns of behviour...

The inspiration for my transformation came from reading Maniac High's seduction advice website called Pick-Up Guide. Like me, Maniac High is a froeigner living in Japan. Unlike me, he seems to be doing significantly better on the babe front. But that is not because he is better looking than me, or naturally better than women -- I am sure it is only because he knows the right moves, has done his homework, and has all the right techniques. Fortunately, Maniac High is not protective of his secrets, and is willing to share the wisdom he has accrued. Merely reading Maniac High's pointers has given me a rush of confidence, of an intensity I have never felt before. I haven't even tried out his tricks yet, but I am sure they work. I will start my experimentation this week. And it makes me wonder -- what if life was just a game, a sport? What if there were techniques for everything? What if it were possible to live a life of opulence, satisfy every fantasy, and live every dream. Dreams are just futures that long to become real, to become memories.

Here are some pearls of wisdom from the Pick-Up Guide, that I want to contemplate, and absorb into my being:

If you don't know in the first twenty minutes whether or not you're going to have sex with the woman you just met, and whether or not you even want to, you're not a seductionist.

It is the 'right brain' you want to reach, to lay a chick. That is where all those emotional and racy feelings work. If you are logical, then your information/chatter will only get as far as the left brain, and never make it to the right, where you need to go to lead the chick. That is why you need stories, NLP..etc, to drive the imagination, and activate the right side, and get IT making the decisions rather than the left side.

And so on. Anyway, my approach for now is to first ascertain whether "personality tests" work. You can find plenty of personality tests/seduction games on Maniac High's websites, which are designed to gauge people's attitudes towards love and sex, without asking them in as many words. My gut feeling is, they actually work, but I want to try them out in the field, with girls that I like. The next step after that, is to use various techniques to enter the girls's respective minds, to infatuate them. That's for next week -- this week will be devoted to the personality tests.

VietnameseThaiBahasa IndonesiaNihongoKorean languageIsraelDanskDanskPetal worlds of colour Asakusa Tokyo Japan thursday, june 03, 2004
s e d u c t i o n # 2
YESTERDAY I FOUND THIS WEBSITE COMPILED BY ANOTHER FOREIGNER LIVING IN JAPAN, ABOUT HIS SEXUAL EXPLOITS. It is called Pick-Up Guide. The author, Maniac, claims to have cracked the code for seducing women, and I must admit, he does say a lot of interesting things. However, after reading through his site for a while, it becomes clear that a lot of his techniques are not so wonderful after all -- just sheer pressure, lying, cheating. For example, some of his rules: never buy dinner for a woman because she will exploit you; women love jerks, so try to be a jerk as much as possible, etc. After a while it becomes clear -- Maniac is an asshole, with some pretty screwed up ideas. Still, if you're a guy interested in reading about the raunchier side of living in Japan, check out his site. I just wish I had some more raunchy tales of my own! But even if I did, I would be reluctant to publish them here, since the girls involved know my homepage address, and would bust my balls if they saw their private sexual experiences printed online, for all to see.

However depraved and mysogenistic Maniac High is, I still feel inspired to absorb a little bit of him into me, to become more of a player in Japan. Instead of being an asshole player, I want to be a nice guy player. But I feel the whole weight of my personality pushing against that -- feelings of inadequacy, passivity, a kind of jealous resentment. I have to change my approach to life, but sometimes big changes can happen suddenly. This time last year I was worried about my health, and not being the sort of person interested in healthy living, I thought it was impossible to change my ways. However, change I did, and now I am very interested in healthy food and so on -- I managed to make healthiness interesting, I made it my own, a part of me. I developed my own philosophy of healthiness, based on Asian and Japanese wisdom -- I began drinking green tea every day, and found that as well being healthy, it can also get you high. Recently, I started drinking ginseng, and I found that as well as being a healthy tonic, it is also a little trippy!

So, my strategy is this: I have to reprogram my mind to become the player that I truly deserve to be. I have plenty of opportunities, but there is something inside of me, stopping me from actualising these opportunities. I am going to use the Internet to find the truth -- real strategies and tactics that work -- and then internalise them through this page (nikki5.html/the Swinger page.) This is my experiment. And I hope that somebody gets some benefit out of my discoveries!

Tip number #1: THE KISS TEST
1. I used to have no idea if a woman was ready to be kissed. Here's what I do now: If I've been talking to a girl, and I want to know if she's ready to be kissed, I'll reach over and touch her hair while we're talking and make a comment about it. I'll say "Your hair looks so soft" and just touch the tips of it. If she smiles and likes this, I'll reach back over and start stroking it again, but this time I also glance down at her lips and back up to her eyes a couple of times. If she lets me keep touching her hair, I know that she's ready to be kissed. (Hopefully next weekend I will have the chance to test this theory, and put it into action!)

wednesday, june 02, 2004
s e d u c t i o n
I HAD A "MOMENT OF CLARITY" THE OTHER NIGHT WHEN I WENT OUT TO A JAPANESE BAR, IN THE FOREIGNER ENCLAVE OF ROPPONGI. Thanks to my Californian buddy Preston for giving me the hints which led to this realisation. You see Preston is a magician, and a couple of months ago he did what magicians are not supposed to do, and that is to explain the secrets of their tricks. Once you know the trick, it suddenly becomes so obvious -- like when you realise the solution of a difficult puzzle. Thanks Preston -- you initiated me into a sublime mystery, and I want to become a magician myself now. Or rather, a babe magician! But more on that later.

Anyway, I went to a cafe/bar in Roppongi on Saturday night with my Japanese buddy Masahiro, who I met a couple of months ago at a barbeque, and who also has aspirations to be a babe magician. Isn't it remarkable how the right people come into your life at the right time -- there truly is a plan to life, even if you are not aware of it at the time. Masahiro wanted to go girlhunting (called "nampa" in Japan), so we went out to a bar/cafe called "The Oriental Hotel", I believe. It was a pretty interesting little place with photos on the walls of famous people who had dined there, including Janet Jackson, Skid Row, etc. While we were eating some Thai food this Japanese guy came over to our table to do a magic trick. He put a couple of American half-dollar coins into my right hand, and said he was going to make one of them disappear and reappear in my left hand. After my introduction to magic from Preston, I was eager to discover the secret behind this guy's technique. I figured the best approach was to think literally -- logically. And sure enough, I figured him out.

I don't want to give away the secret because, you know, magic secrets are not to be revealed! But here is a hint: the coins were hollow!

Masahiro, my little wingman, was more easily fooled. He ended up paying the guy a 5000 yen tip ($50). What a lot of money for such a cheap trick!

tuesday, february 17, 2004
d i s n e y l a n d
I MADE MY FIRST EVER VISIT TO ONE OF THE DISNEYLAND FRANCHISES YESTERDAY, AND WAS STUNNED AT TIMES BY THE SURREALISM OF SOME OF THE ATTRACTIONS. This truly would be a good place to visit stoned on magic mushrooms (which used to be legal in Japan; sadly, this is no longer the case.) I can imagine the trippy delights of cruising a floating log through an enchanted grotto, or flying Peter Pan-style over the streets of 19th century London -- strange cartoon characters coming to life and jabbering at you in a cacophony of deranged voices, everything so colourful and ultra-real... it would be like sailing into a dream! I guess for children, they don't need the mushrooms -- they are already in that state of inner magic!


saturday, february 14, 2004
how to be a tv star in japan
I WON'T PRETEND THAT I AM A STAR ON JAPANESE TV, BUT I HAVE MADE A NUMBER OF TV APPEARANCES IN THE LAST FEW MONTHS, AND ON MAJOR PROGRAMS TOO. For foreigners, this is easy to do! And while the pay isn't exactly anything to write home about, the occasional Japanese TV assignment can be an excellent cultural experience, and it gives you some good stories to impress other people with, and you meet some absolute nutters on set.

I know I am a terrible actor and I don't care -- I get no particular thrill being on the screen, and in fact would rather not watch myself. The only benefits I obtain from this strange kind of work is being able to impress people, and the money. As Han Solo would say it: "I'm in it for the money!" But I get the impression that actually a lot of the foreigners doing these bit roles on TV are in it for other purposes -- namely, they want to be stars! They pride themselves on their acting skills, they have made portfolios of themselves modelling in a range of poses and garments, and they dream of one day making it big as a celebrity in Japan. The old cliche of the actor or model who failed in Hollywood and then moved to Japan is sadly true. Some of these guys look terrible! I'm even worse, but I don't care -- and that's the difference!

My most recent assignment was for a television comedy called "Suijuu" or ��￾, which is screened every Wednesday night on Fuji-TV. There were about 20 or more foreign actors there, from all over the world -- the inevitable Middle Eastern brigade, Brazilians and Russians, Frenchmen and English, and a couple of Americans. We were meant to be lawyers presenting Suijuu's female star a contract (£��) which would enable her to become a princess, so long as she agreed to all of the conditions. And some of those conditions were pretty ridiculous -- like having to wear a princess outfit wherever she went, even just stepping out to a convenience store, for example.

Anyway, we were waiting for the shooting to start when I met one of the American actors, whose name I won't mention (mainly because I can't remember it!) He promptly tossed me a couple of ring-bound folders and said with no trace of modesty: "This is what you have been waiting to see!"

I opened the folders to find photos of this buffed and slightly overweight Californian posing in suits or casual wear, clippings of him on the cover of several American martial arts magazines (karate and kali, the stick fighting style from The Philippines), and a resume which included the boast: "experienced in automatic and semi-automatic weapons handling." I raised a query about that one. "Hey, I've got jobs from that -- sometimes they need someone who knows how to fire a gun." And he said if a Japanese director ever needed someone for a kali fighting scene, they'd remember his skills and give him a call.

Actually I want to make a kali movie clip one day, because I have a stick-fighting episode in my online novel. Next time I see the Californian I should take his card. I can't pay him anything because I am a pennyless amateur, but maybe he would be willing to do it for the glory and the fame.

Some photos I took at the shoot:

One of the Iranian mafia which seem to dominate the bit role acting market in JapanAnother Iranian actor

￾�Τ^// h a r a b a u
I HAVE BEEN GOING THROUGH A NEW FAD LATELY -- LEARNING JAPANESE! Even though I live in Japan it doesn't mean I am constantly interested in learning Japanese -- for a large part of last year I was more interested in Scandinavia and learning about Iceland. That fad has passed, and a new Japanese fad has begun. There are so many cool words in the Japanese language and I want to learn them all!

So, for today, an obscure word I found in my dictionary -- ￾�Τ^or "harabau", which means to "lie on one's stomach". Pretty obscure I know, but it could come in handy somewhere, at least to get a few laughs from Japanese who will be surprised I know such a word and how to use it!

So, at the moment I like to learn from the Internet, which is much more interesting than using a textbook. Here are some results which came when I typed "harabau" into a search engine:

1. ��£�^�^�����g�̤^�����������￾�����ɡ�Τ^��������£￾£￾���Ť^���B
Irie ni magirekonde kita wata no shizukana oto kikinagara, shirozuna ni watashi wa sukkari rizout kibun deshita.
While I listened to the silence as we diverted back across the inlet, I felt like I was lying on my stomach on white sands at a resort.

VOCABULARY
1. ��£. . . Irie. . . Inlet, small bay.
2. ����￾ . . Magireru. . . Diverted.
3. £��￾. . . Watashifune. . . Ferry.
4. ￾�Ȥ^�￾ . . -nagara. . . at the same time, while.
5. ������￾ . . Sukkari. . . Completely, thoroughly.

monday, january 26, 2004
out of the red
AT THE RISK OF JUMPING THE GUN AND JINXING MYSELF, I FEEL BOLD ENOUGH TO PROCLAIM: My days of financial austerity are over!

I always predicted and hoped that 2004 would be a year of affuence, after the grim constant out-of-pocketness of 2003. It seems my prediction is coming true. However, instead of being forced to return to working for a company, as I expected, I will be able to work for myself and also be reasonably well off. And imagine if, as the year continues, my income rises, as I get new students? It is the dream life -- working for myself, no boss breathing down my neck, but also enough money coming in to travel and live well.

Last year was without a doubt the best year of my life, and despite the recent slump starting with the Akiko Breakup, there is no reason that 2004 can't be better still. Moreover, having tasted poverty, I can enjoy the return to affluence in an even more sensuous way than would have been possible had I always been affluent. It is like I am taking timid, tentative steps back into affluence, because I still can't believe that my fortunes could have changed so fast. The idea of going out buying clothes would have been unthinkable a month ago. But that is exactly what I am intending to do this week, as I have enough money to afford it.

This weekend I hosted a visit from my Californian buddy Preston Grassman, who has been living in Japan since early 2003, and replaced me at my former job when I got, er, fired! We went out to a bar on Saturday night, and he told me about how he writes for a science fiction magazine. I was startled when he pulled out a copy of the magazine he had with him which featured him posing with sci-fi legend Arthur C Clarke in Sri Lanka. As I want to be a sci-fi writer myself, I now find myself thinking -- is this a piece of cosmic destiny that I have met Preston? Maybe he was sent in my path, to help me reach my goals? But the goals themselves are not mine, the stories I write are also not mine -- I am just an instrument, a medium. The stories want to become real, and I am but a tool for their expression.

sunday, january 11, 2004 /// ground zero
FOR THE BEST SIX OR SEVEN YEARS I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO WRITE AN ONLINE NOVEL, A TRUE MULTITHREADED, INTERACTIVE EPIC. To be honest it has rambled all over the place, but I often get the feeling that it is actually writing itself, as if it already exists somewhere, and I am merely channeling it into this reality. Sometimes, when I waking up or going to sleep, I get new ideas for the grander narrative structure of this evolving work -- sometimes good, sometimes bad. Last night, as I lay in bed, I got one of the gooder type of ideas.

My idea is this: imagine if you lived in a world in which everything was disappearing. Not only people were disappearing literally before your eyes and walking past security cameras without being seen, but entire places were disappearing from the map. What could cause such an effect? A passing black hole or the collision with another universe (it's "brane-storming!") Not even people and places are vanishing, as if the Bermuda Triangle was on the move, and sucking everything up, but even letters were disappearing from the page! In one episode (EYETEST), the hero of the story is called before his supervisor and asked to perform an eye examination. Read on here.

sunday, january 04, 2004 /// new sea change

monday, january 05, 2004 /// immortality
I WAS THINKING RECENTLY ABOUT THAT CHRISTIAN EXPRESSION: "For God so loved the world that he was willing to sacrafice his only son". I suddenly realised a new interpretation of that expression: that we, as spirits, were so in love with "reality" (The Earth) that we were willing to give up our immortality, and accept a short life here. Kind of like Arwyn in LORD OF THE RINGS. Just an idea! But if it is true, it means there is no Afterlife for us, because we gave that up for the pleasure of being here.

My Japanese word of the day was taught to me by Masumi, after I told her about my psychic dreams -- it is "masayume" ���� or "true dream". I'm sure it will come in handy in the future.

  A | B | C | D | E | F | G | H | I | J | K | L | M | N | O | P | Q | R | S | T | U | V | W | X | Y | Z