You see
psychedelic flowers when you close your eyes to go to sleep.
Before you
have a conversation with someone, you kindly ask them if they'd like to accept a
chat request.You
consider sleeping your "N/A" mode.You hear
little voices in your head constantly saying "uh-oh".You have
over 500 buddies on your contact list.You've had
long conversations with all 500 of those buddies.You begin
to think names like "Tom" and "Jane" are strange, but names
like "Snakeman" and "Tigger" are common.Your
friend introduces you to a new person, and you immediately ask them if you can
add them to your "contact list".Since
downloading ICQ, you've learned to speak 7 new languages, including Ukranian and
the dialect of a small native community in Peru.To you,
ICQ isn't just a program, it's a "gift to mankind".Your idea
of a "wild time" is inviting all of your online friends into one giant
chatroom.The last
time you signed off ICQ was during the George Bush administration.Every time
a new version or update of ICQ is released, you have your own celebration party,
complete with cake, party favors, and champagne.Your dog
leaves you due to lack of attention, despite your efforts to appease him by
giving him his own ICQ number.Your one
pride in life has become your immense contact list, and you ask all your friends
to send over their contacts to make it even bigger.You name
your first child "Mirabilis" and tell all your friends that it was
because you "liked how it sounded".You have
carefully allotted your time during work/school lunch breaks: 32 minutes to
check and respond to ICQ messages, 3 minutes to eat.Your
spouse is insanely jealous of the computer and refers to it only as your
"sugar daddy". 
Have some suggestions for the list? Tell me!
