TITLE: Midnight In the Garden
RATING: PG
AUTHOR: Pale The Chicken Slayer  
SUMMERY: After two years at the CIA, Mulder
is found half-dead in a hospital. Scully comes to the
 resuce only to find out that things aren't going to get any better.
DISCLAIMER: The X-Files and ALL related characters 
belong to CC, 1013 PRODUCTIONS, and FOX.
NOTES: Hmmm. TY means 'Thank You' its chat slang. I
 wrote this story over many many many weeks and I 
annoyed all my friends with it and such. But while I 
was writing it I was listening to the Romeo + Juliet
 soundtrack. Just so you know.

THANX: All the people who put up with my obbsession. 
Simple.

***
"Little star
So you had to go
You must have wanted him to know"
-Little Star by Stina Nordenstam
***
"Where is he?"

She shoved past the nurses to room 1121. One of them 
stopped her before she could get inside the room.

"Sorry. Only imedate family members and hospital
 staff. I'm afraid your going to have to wait miss,"
 the nurse placed a firm hand on the door.

"I AM imedate family. And a doctor,"she flashes her
 badge which appearently changes the nurses mind. She opens the door.

Inside Mulders pale and comatose body was being probed
 and monitored by several machines. His eyes where
 taped shut and a tube was inserted into his mouth so 
he could breathe. His cheast heaved slowly up and down 
with slow, labored breaths. Breaths that weren't his. 
Breaths that were artifical.

She ran her hand through her hair to move several 
lengths of stay hair. 
Over the last 2 years her hair had grown considarbly 
and she didn't even bother to cut it. It was long. 
Several inches below her shoulders. Normally it would 
have been braided, or pulled back. She always tried to 
look neat and orderly. Her job required that of her. 
But today it was free and careless. Only because she 
had been awaken by a terrifying phone call. 

She sat beside the bed, resting her hand on the white 
covers of the hospital bed. She closed her eyes to 
prevent a tear from sliding out. It was useless. She 
had several trails of tears within seconds.

"I I am sorry. I shouldn't have let you go alone." She 
cried some more than spoke again."You know. I never 
let go. I was happy to see you find your truth and get 
rewarded for it. Did you find the *right* truth? Did 
you find Samantha? Did you find me?"

She turned and looked around the empty room. Then 
spoke. "I have always loved you. I think you knew. 
Didn't you? After you left the breau for the CIA I 
left also. Of course, you probably knew that. But why 
didn't I see you until after you were *accidently* 
assigned a case near me? I though maybe, just maybe, 
you cared more than that. Did something happen?"

She paused for a moment.

"I would die for you. I have always known that. I just 
never could say it." She hanged her head as if she was 
crying. "And now I have." 

She looked up at him. He was expressionless of course. 
She kissed him gently. "Goodbye. I should be back 
later." With that she turned and walked out the door.

She arrived home and threw herself at the couch. She 
desparatly needed to relax. The day had been horrible. Now all she wanted was to relax.

No such luck.

Her phone rang and she sighed.She stalked into the 
kitchen where her phone was.

"Hello?" She said extremly unenthusasticly.

No answer was to be heard.

"Hello?" Still no answer.

She slammed the phone down. Hearing a soft 'bring' 
when she did so.  She looked around the room in 
boredom. A small yet powerful computer rested in the 
corner. After gazing at it for a while she walked over 
to it and turned it on.

Her speakers were down and she could barely make out a 
'you have mail' sound. She opened her mail program and 
started to read the messages.

Since leaving the FBI she'd had plenty of free time to 
become friendly with the internet. A quite a lot of 
her free time lately had been spent on her computer in 
chat rooms. Yes, she admitted, it did seem quite 
ignorant and stupid, but she enjoyed talking to people 
she did not know and she could release her feelings 
much more then if she had done that with friends. 
Everyone in the chat room had come to know her as 
'Little_Star' and enjoyed her stories. Most of which 
were of her past with Mulder and all the little things 
she'd loved about him. Before she wouldn't have even 
dreamed of speaking of her love for Mulder.

After reading the short messages,most of which were 
junk, she decided to release with chat instead of 
television. She went into the room. Everyone she knew 
was there and she was greeted by all.


***
CHAT SCREEN
***
Little_Star: Hello.

PaleInBlack: Hey Dana

slayerintraining: Yo Dana

Little_Star: Thanks all. You are not going to believe 
what
happened today.

PaleInBlack: Your right. We won't until you tell us.

slayerintraining: lol

PaleInBlack: That wasn't meant to be funny.

slayerintraining: oh

Little_Star: Anyway, I found Mulder. Well, he found 
me. He's in a coma. I still can't believe it.

PaleInBlack: OMG! Is he okay? Wait, stupid question.

Little_Star: I don't know yet. I only saw him briefly 
before I couldn't handle it anymore. And no, that 
wasn't a stupid question. He looked exactly the same.

slayerintraining: oh. have you changed since...well, you know

PaleInBlack: Dana, you KNOW that he loves you.

Little_Star:Thats not the problem. It's the whole damn 
situation.

PaleInBlack: Ahhhh I see. Everyone has their problems. 
Only yours 
are on a whole different planet then ours.

Little_Star: PALE!

PaleInBlack: Oh yeah. THAT. Okay I stop now.

Little_Star: Hmmm. I am actully glad to be back here. 
Scary.

slayerintraining: Shocking. Isn't that a medical 
condition?

Little_Star: No

PaleInBlack: Damn. Dana, why is your life always so 
screwed?

Little_Star: I do not know. Sounds like an X-File. LOL

PaleInBlack: A what?

Little_Star: Nevermind. Private joke.

PaleInBlack: Oh. It has all become clear now.

Little_Star: Don't you wear glasses?

PaleInBlack: Yeah. OH!

Little_Star: Well, my loyal compainions, I must go.

PaleInBlack: Awww!

slayerintraining: Aw.

Little_Star: I will be back though. I promise. Bye!

Little_Star has left chat.
***
After leaving she shut her computer down. Her body as 
well as her mind was tired. She would've taken a long, 
hot bath but the hot water was out in the whole damn 
building. So, facing envitable boredom she put a CD in 
and began to read.

After twenty to thirty minutes of peaceful reading she 
began to drift to sleep. And she welcomed it with open 
arms. Her eyes sagged heavy with sleep and she leaned 
into the sidearm of the white leather couch. Her arm 
draped around a white lace pillow, silky soft feeling, 
and her book fell to the floor landing softly on the 
oreantal rug. Her glasses remained in place upon her 
pale and quiet face. What a long day it had been.

When she was stirred awake by a loud bird singing 
outside the window she felt all right. No memories 
were stirred up from the previous day and she had no 
desire to bring them to light at them moment. The CD 
she had been listening to was still playing on repeat. 
The lyrics she loved, the music was sensational, and 
everything at that moment was all right.

She felt a sudden urge to grab a pen and start writing 
the lyrics down to the song. She snatched a pen up 
from off the neglected coffee table and grabbed for a 
notepad that had been sitting on the couch begging to 
be used. She knew ,of course, that she could simply go 
on the internet and find the lyrics easily, yet 
writing them felt more personal and more right.

For about ten minutes she repeated the song and 
managed to get the lyrics. The handwriting was sloppy, 
unlike her usual neat and legible writing, and she 
wasn't sure if they were right. But they made sense to 
her and to her thats all that really mattered at the 
moment.

After taking a shower, they had finally got the hot 
water back, and messing with her hair so it was no 
longer disorderly and untamed, moreover it was 
structured and professional looking. Thats how she 
wanted it despite the fact she had no intention of 
going into work. She was on a weeks vacation beginning
 that very Monday. 

She looked around the small and cluttered apartment 
and found her keys. Upon picking them up she decied to 
go to the hospital and check up on her Mulder. She 
seized the lyrics that had been written earlier and 
walked out the door, locking it behind her cautiously.

Entering the hospital was hard. Staying was even 
harder. He had gotten worse and they had given him a 
14 precent chance of awaking. All she could do was sit 
and start to cry. His mother wouldn't be there, she 
had died a year earlier of a stroke, only she could be 
there. Samantha was still to be found.

"Hi Mulder," she said, throwing all her caution to the 
wind,"I honestly dont know what to say nor do. You, my 
love, you may never awake. That is unbearingly painful 
for me. I bet its the same for you, well, I hope it 
is. You haven't seen me in a year. And I missed you 
every moment of that time."

"This morning, when I woke up, I heard a song. I wrote the lyrics down. They reminded me of you,"she forced a 
smile as she opened her purse to fish out the lyrics. 
"Here goes,"

"Are these times contagious 
I've never been this bored before 
Is this the prize I've waited for 
Now with the hours passing 
There's nothing left here to insure 
I long to find a messenger"

"Have I got a long way to run 
Have I got a long way to run "

"Is there a cure among us 
From this processed sanity 
I weaken with each voice that sings 
Now, in this world of purchase 
I'm going to buy back memories 
To awaken some old qualities"

She spoke the words clearly up untill the last verse 
when she began to cry. "Thats all I got. I couldn't 
get any more, Mulder. Dear god, don't let him leave. 
Please?" She looked to the ceiling as if awaiting an 
answer. She was only answered by the creeking of a 
rocking chair and a teardrop sliding down Mulders 
cheek.

"Mulder?" She said praying that he would wake. 
"Mulder? Are you awake? Are you?"


He didn't stir nor gesture. Only a tear answered.

She sat down at the table in the lonely resturaunt on 
74th street. Bittersweet love songs played and she 
sipped her peppermint tea. Before she never would have 
dreamed of sitting alone in a small coffeeshop but now 
it had become a reality. The steam filtered in front 
of her face and it made her sweat pleasently. Looking 
around the shop she spotted a small shelf full of 
little gifts and cards. To the side, away from all the 
others, she saw a small package. Just your average box 
with wrapping. On it it said 'Surprise Love Box'. It 
was cheesy yet romantic to her in this disillusioned 
state of mind. She turned and walked out of the shop, 
never glancing back.

In the years that had gone by with Mulder working 
consitantly by her side, she took his presence for 
granted and when he left for the CIA she felt alone. 
All alone in 'the boys club', and she hated every 
moment of it untill finally she transferred to a 
different section of the FBI where she felt more at 
ease. And she felt more lonely by the second.

That Friday she came back to room 1121, to find Mulder 
doing slightly better but not enough to raise her nor 
his doctors hopes of recovering.
"Miss Scully?" The young doctor said holding Mulders 
chart in her slender hands. Scully replied by looking 
up from her vigil at his side.
"He probably won't wake up. I'm sorry but if he 
continues on this pattern I feel it would be best if 
we let him rest."

Scully looked up with tears in her eyes. She knew it 
was up to her and that it was the best thing but she 
didn't want it to be. As a medical doctor she knew 
that the young doctor was right. That hurt her even 
more.

"We should give him 24 hours then if no improvement 
occurs I trust that you will make the sound desision, 
Miss Scully. Hes already gone." The doctor looked into 
her eyes and Scully replied with,"Thank you, Dr. 
Jameston. Could you please leave now?" With that Dr. Jameston walked out the door and never looked back.

"Mulder," she spoke softly and 
timidly,"they...um...they say that if you don't wake 
up soon, um, they want to...well they want me to give 
them permission to let you go. And I know that...if I 
let you go...I won't be able to go on. You left! You 
left once, Mulder. Now you show up dying and I can't 
let you go without wanting you more." After speaking 
those heartfelt words she broke down crying.

"Skinner," she said timidly walking into his office. 
He looked up obviously quite surprised.

"Agent Scully! It's been a long time. Why are you here 
today?" he looked the same. No matter what, scully 
thought, he never changes.

"I'm here today about Mulder."

"Mulder?!? I thought he was working over at the CIA."

"Well. Something happened and I  want you to see him," 
she muttered barely above a whisper.

"Um, sure. When do you want me to come?" He pulled out 
a notepad and a pen to write this information down.

"Tonight," she took out a note from his doctor and 
handed it to Skinner. She turned and walked out the 
door, heels clacking on the new tile floor.

She entered the hospital with her hair pulled up into 
a loose bun. All the regular nuses made their 
condolences and watched her sullenly. Silence filled 
the normally bustling halls of the hospital. Only the 
quiet footsteps of her feet remained.

She entered the room, pushing aside all feelings that 
told her she shouldn't go in, that it would only make 
it worse and such. Skinner sat up and watched her 
enter, not needing her to tell him why he was here for 
he already knew just by looking.

"He's already gone," she whispered repeated the young 
doctors words. "And all my tears are gone."

"Dana, I know how you loved him and I know you know 
whats best but are you sure this is the way?" Skinner 
sat up and placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

"I don't know whats right anymore,"she said through 
tears. "What was right is now wrong and what was true 
is now all lies. I don't know if I can *want* to 
believe. I *need* to believe. It's all I have, sir. 
Nothing more but a memory and a journey."

"That's all Mulder had, Dana. That's all he had."

"But look at him now! He's already gone! And yet he's 
living. The truth is nothing but a chocolate covered 
lie," she looked to the bed with Mulder lying within 
her reach but still so far away.

"It's up to you. There's nothing I can say or do to 
change that. I think you already realize this." 
Looking into her eyes for a breif moment he pondered 
all that they had gone through and still had to go 
through. After this he walked away.

"You can't just walk away like that!" Scully yelled 
after him.

"Yes I can. And I have,"he said regretfully. "You have
 been given the truth and its lying right there."

He shut the door behind him and she stood there 
bewildered and saddened. It really was the end and 
nothing more could be done. Mulder laid there, beyond 
gone.

"I can't let you go while I still love you. This is 
not the way its supposed to be! I can't let you die. 
I've let you go before and you come back and now you 
have to go again. But it's not right. I'm sorry. I 
have to let you go," she said while her tears made 
trails out of her curves and valleys of her face. She 
held his hand tightly and felt his heart beat faintly. 

"Have you made your decision, Miss Scully?" Dr. 
Jameston said from the doorway looking in.

"Yes, I have. Um, I think its best if we let him go,"
 she said gripping upon his hand.

"I trust your decision." He called in several nurses 
to unhook the machines and another for sedatives. 
Scully looked away unable to comprehend the impending 
events as tears flowed like rivers.


"I really don't know what to say honestly. He never 
wanted anyone to call him Fox, he was dedicated to 
finding Samantha, and I loved him. Although he never 
found her he lived a tremendous life. A life that 
brought me to him and took him away once again. If I 
knew that things would end up this way, I would have 
tried to change things. Yet, I know it wouldnt have 
worked but at least I would know I tried. I loved him 
dearly, of course, and this probably sounds utterly 
moronic but I don't have anymore to say. I hate 
funereals,"she walked out from behind the podeum, 
crying.

Walking down to the cemetary as the rain poured down 
upon their heads, music played sullenly the lyrics 
telling a story that made almost everyone cry 
including her. Of course, she had never even dared to 
dream that this day would come with so many 
unfullfilled duties. He had gotten hurt and she had 
been told he was dead many times before but she never 
believed them at all. She knew truely in herself that 
he wasn't dead but now there was no denying it. He was 
dead.

As they lowered the casket into the earth, everyone 
began to cry again and Scully began to hum. How rude 
many thought but it was her way of saying sorry.

She walked down the path covered in small flat stones 
to her car. The funereal was over and she began to 
think once again. Joyfull thoughts and wishes. She 
thought of the things that words couldn't comprehend 
and dreams couldn't match.

Sitting at home, several days later, she looked around 
and realized how lonely life was once again. 
Everything was still like a hot summers day and a 
lingering feeling hung in the air like perfume. Little 
momentos of Mulder were draped around the room, 
pictures and such, and that made her long even more.

***
CHAT SCREEN
***
Little_Star: I said I would be back.

PaleHatesGravity: Yo Dana. Like the name?

Little_Star: Its you.

PaleHatesGravity: Thankys. So hows the Mulder situation?

mirrorballslayer: hey dana.

Little_Star: Hey Slayer. Not good, Pale. The Mulder 
situation 
no longer exists.

PaleHatesGravity: Did he um..?

mirrorballslayer: oh dear

Little_Star: Yes. And I can't deal quite right.

PaleHatesGravity: Awww dammit. Sorry Dana. I know how 
much
you loved him.

Little_Star: I do too, Pale. If only...

PaleHatesGravity: If only doesn't work. Sorry. Try 
again later.

mirrorballslayer: I'm sure you will deal on your own 
terms, Dana.

Little_Star: I just wanted to make him happy. And I 
didn't by 
deciding his fate.

PaleHatesGravity: You what?

Little_Star: I was the one who had to decide if he 
should live or not
too much damn pressure.

PaleHatesGravity: Pressure sucks. What's the one thing 
he was most
um dedicated to?

Little_Star: the X-Files.

mirrorballslayer: could you possibly...

Little_Star: I have an idea! TY Pale!

Little_Star leaves chat.
***
Scully entered the hall that lead to the X-Files 
division of the FBI. She had gotten her old job back 
and she was happy. She pushed open the door to the 
office and set a large box down on the extremely 
neglected desk and sighed. Everything was the same as 
before. Well, almost. The slide-screen had been stolen 
or removed, no more 'I Want To Believe' poster and no 
more crime scene photos. One photo remained, though, 
the picture of a young Samantha Mulder.

She walked over to the bulletion board and tacked up a 
new photo. One of Mulder and her that had been taken 
several months before he left for the CIA. He was 
smiling, as was Scully, and they were standing side by 
side on a boardwalk that overlooked Casco Bay in 
Maine. She looked at it and smiled.

Assistant director Walter Skinner came in the room, 
smiling slightly.
"Welcome back Agent Scully. The X-Files wasn't the 
same without you," he said warmly.

"Thank you, sir. I missed this so much."


He became suddenly sincere and spoke. "I know how much 
this means to you and Mulder."

She looked him in the eyes, close to crying at the 
speaking of Mulder. "Excuse me now,please. I have an X-File to work on."

Skinner left quietly and Scully sat down at her desk, 
setting to work on a new case and a new life.

***

THE END

***
Feedback to 
Pale_September_Angel@yahoo.com
***