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The Big J's Enya Page
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Interview With Your Lord N' Saviour

Yea. Here, on this page, JESUS has revealed himself. Verily I, Good St.James have created a forum for Our Lord with the express purpose of bringing you closer to him (after all, he can't be everywhere at once!) and clearing up a few things shockingly omitted by the modern church.

Praise be to Godonhigh. Oh yeah, this page is constantly enlarging, so in the words of El Messiah, "Bookmarketh unto mine page, and free rosary beads will be YOURS! (This offer does not apply to real people, or those with names)."

Unbeknownst to many, some actual quotations from the big J's face were found recently in a cave in Jordan by a young boy with severe personality disorders. He revealed them on his death bed the minute before suffocating under a plastic bag. I was that bag.

• "Morris dancing is a literary convention, and should be treated as such in future."
• "Crucifiction? Well, it stings a little, but it's no match for a good massage."
• "Peas: aye. Turnips: nay."
• "Remember, my son, I despise it when you mince/lisp." (The translation is unclear.)
• "Only those I like shall enter the kingdom of mine father. All others are too silly, and may mock his beard."
• "Beware, ye of little faith, for ye shall not be admitted to mine birthday party. Unless you have a present."

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  Some closing words from Ourlordjesuschrist himself: "Thank you for visiting my page at Angelfire. Please come back and visit again! Blessed art thou. Unless you're called Karl. Marx or Kennedy, I don't care, I loath you all and cast your worthless bodies into the Outer Darkness, where there will be wailing and gnashing of teeth. And for those who lack teeth, teeth shall be provided."

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  In the words of Jesus HIMSELF; "E-mail me with words, and thou shalt find eternal classness." To E-mail Good St. James, founder of this blessed site, tappeth your plastic keys.

  Jesus's Top 10 Albums of All Time

  • Enya: Everything! This woman can do no wrong! Blessed is she.
  • Burzum: Burzum/Aske (it's not Satanic, it's neo-pagan)
  • Kampfar: Mellom Skoggledde Aesir
  • Skyclad: Vintage Whine
  • V/A: Classic Pissing Music
  • Conan: Soundtrack Album
  • Classic Yodeling Anthems
  • Pan Pipe Classics: Volume IV
  • Slayer: Reign In Blood (don't tell father...)
  • Anything played on an organ