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Three old guys are out walking. First one says, "Windy isn't it?" Second one says, "No it's Thursday." Third one says, "So am I, let's go get a beer."
A blonde heard that milk baths make you beautiful. So she left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the point. The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 15 gallons or 1.5 gallons?" The blonde said, "I want 15 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub with milk and take a milk bath." The milkman asked, "OK. You want it Pasteurized?" The blonde said, "No, I think up to my neck is just fine." Q - What did George Washington say to his men just before they got on the boat? A - Men, get on the boat. Q - What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A - A stick Q - What did the hat rack say to the hat. A - You go on a head, I'll stay here. Two atoms are sitting in a bar. One says "I think I lost an electron." The other says "Are you sure?" "Yeah, I'm positive!!" Once I posed naked for a magazine, but it was very demeaning. I will never go back to that newsstand. I had a pet monkey and he was so sweet. He would do this funny little dance whenever I held the leash high enough. Q - Why don't blind people skydive? A - Because it scares the heck out of their dogs. Q- Where do you find a dog with no legs? A- Right where you left him. |
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