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| yay... a poem by me!! |
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Wait a second, this is getting very possessive! Everything is mine mine mine! What's with that? Though I guess it is mine! HA! eat it up punk! If you can't handle the fire, get out!! No, I'm sorry, I love you, don't go! Don't leave me! But I'm afraid you must get used to the fact that everything on this page is MINE! M-I-N-E! mine.... Yay! I feel so priviledged!!
hmmmm...Now it seems that we have exhausted the list of my wonderful possessions, but since we don't want to leave, we must move on to other people's shtuphph!! Woohoo! But seriously, other people have some pretty spiphphy things!! okay, here you go...
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ....what? (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good) A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
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AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are eleventh the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.
Excerpt from Purple Rain ~
Morris: I want to know when that sweet thing shows up. You stay by the door, you see her, you come get me, cool? Jerome: Cool. I come get you -- let you know the girl's there. Morris: Well, not if I'm with my other babes. That wouldn't be cool. I don't want to break their hearts, and you
know how I feel about that. So we ought to have like, a signal. Jerome: A password. Morris: Okay. What's the password? Jerome: You got it. Morris: Got what? Jerome: The password. Morris: The password is what? Jerome: Exactly. Morris: The password is exactly? Jerome: No, it's-- Morris: -- Hold it now. Slow down. The babe walks in and you see her. Jerome: I see her. Morris: You come get me. Jerome: I come get you. Morris: And I'll probably have a couple little sexies on the stand-by, and we don't want to upset them, do we?
So you just glide by me and say...what? Jerome: Okay. Morris: The password is okay? Jerome: Far as I'm concerned. Morris: Dammit! Say the password. Jerome: What. Morris: Say the password, sperm breath! Jerome: The password is what. Morris (frustrated): That's what I'm asking you! Jerome (more frustrated): It's the password! Morris: The password is it? Jerome (exasperated): Ahhhhh! The password is what! Morris: It! You just said so! Jerome: The password isn't it! The password is-- Morris: -- What? Jerome: Got it! Morris: I got it? Jerome: Right. Morris: It or right? Jerome (perplexed): What?? The Shoeshine Boy looks up slowly -- regards them with a soulfull look-- Shoeshine Boy: Either of you do heavy drugs?
The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
Conclusion: Eat what you like. It's speaking English that kills you.
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The Best Bad Country Western Songs (yep.... these are for real)
1. How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away? 2. You're the Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly 3. I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart 4. I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You 5. She Got The Gold Mine and I Got The Shaft 6. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Sure Do Miss Him 7. I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life 8. Drop-Kick Me Jesus Through The Goalposts Of Life 9. Thank God And Greyhound She's Gone 10. If You Don't Leave Me Alone I'll Go And Find Someone Else Who Will 11. She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger 12. I've Got The Hungries For Your Love And I'm Waiting In Your Welfare Line 13. I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me. 14. My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart. 15. I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dawg Fight Because I'm Afraid She'd Win. 16. They May Put Me In Prison But They Can't Stop My Face From Breaking Out 17. Every Man Must Leave His Footprints in the Sands of Time But I'll Only Leave the Mark of a Heel 18. I Can't Get Over You, So I'll Have to Get Up and Go Around
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