How To Tell If Your Kid Will Become Violent
As you know, the recent cheese discovery has forces us as parents to reevaluate our children's habits. There are several behaviors that your kids will probably exhibit if they are going to become violent. Watch for these symptoms:
- Excessive consumption of cheese, products containing cheese, or products that look, smell, or taste similar to cheese
- Excessive Internet use (the Internet is full of cheese-abuse sites)
- Constant conversations about cheese
- Muttering the word "cheese" while sleeping
- An unusual desire for yellow objects, particularily those which resemble cheese in any of its forms
- Listening to music which contains lyrics pertaining to cheese
If any of your children exhibit any of these symptoms, you should contact the FBI immediatly. Cheese use is also related to
Dihydrogen Monoxide addiction. Here are some precautions to take regarding DHMO:
- DHMO is often found in common household drinking water, and cannot be removed even with a water filtration system. It is therefore advisable that you and your family only drink carbonated sweet beverages (pop or soda), as they contain a lower amount of DHMO per litre.
- Bottled water is no safer than regular tap water: bottled water actually contains a slightly higher amount of DHMO per litre due to the filtration process.
- DHMO is found in all cheese products, and is also a large component in milk, which is used in the manufacture of cheese. This is yet another good reason to stay away from cheese products.
- Caution your children to avoid drinking fountains at school, as they are often laced with DHMO.