Title: Past Imperfect 6/?
Author: Ruby
E-mail: ruby_113@yahoo.com
Rating: PG-16
Disclaimer: Joss owns all.
Summary: Spike has had a slight mental adjustment.
Archive: Charity's site, Willow's Men, Fever of Fate,
and all the rest of my usual haunts.
Feedback: Yes, please!
Back to Fan Fic"You're not being very helpful," Buffy grumbled at the blonde vampire.
"I'm telling you everything just the way I remember it," he argued.
"Well, you don't remember it right!" she sighed impatiently.
"Buffy," Giles placed his hand on her shoulder. "That isn't helpful. Spike you don't remember being taken?"
"No," he answered. "I already told you--"
"I know," the watcher stopped him. "But I'm at a loss to explain what happened to you. I'm reasonably certain it isn't a demon we're dealing with. I just don't understand why your memories are completely inaccurate."
"I don't care about that," Spike insisted.
"How can you not care? Doesn't it bother you that someone's been screwing around with your mind?" Buffy asked incredulously.
"What bloody difference does it make? The only memories that matter concern Willow, anyway."
"But those aren't right, either!" the slayer maintained.
Spike snarled and stood up, "I don't give a damn. She's mine, now. My blood mate. I love her. I don't care about before."
"Well, I do! She doesn't love you!"
Willow moved to Spike's side and took his hand as his eyes met hers.
"What?" Buffy asked trying to read her expression and fighting the reality dawning in her mind. "What?!?"
"I need him," Willow answered, her eyes never straying from Spike's.
"No! Will, you don't know what you're saying!"
"Yes, I do," she said calmly.
"You can't! He's a--"
"Buffy, can I talk to you for a moment--privately?" Giles requested.
Reluctantly, she allowed him to pull her into the kitchen.
"Is this something I really want to hear?" she whined. He grinned fondly at her, "Probably not. Willow means what she's saying."
"Don't be ridiculous! Of course she doesn't! It's just this stupid bond thingy that's addled her senses."
"The bond is the pull, but the feelings that are evolving are genuine, just as Spike's are for her."
"Do you realize what you're saying? She says she needs him. And as if that weren't bad enough, you're making it sound like she loves him. Giles, they've been enemies since--"
"The fact she's your friend is what made them enemies," he interrupted. "When Spike came back to Sunnydale after Drusilla left him the first time, he went directly for Willow."
"Because he needed a spell to--"
"You think she's the only one on the Hellmouth who could have performed that spell? He could even have gone back to South America and found someone there to do it. He didn't have to kidnap the slayer's best friend. It would have been far safer--and wiser--to have left her alone."
"Like Spike's ever been prone to doing anything wise," she rolled her eyes. "Are you saying he wanted her before all this started?"
"It's a strong possibility. He could have come after any one of us when he returned a few weeks ago--Xander or myself, for instance. But he went after Willow. I don't know if he was consciously aware of the attraction, but everything indicates that it already existed."
"Vampires don't fall in love with humans," she argued.
Giles arched an eyebrow and stared down at her, "Oh, really?"
The slayer blushed and studied her nails, "Okay, we'll move that to the top of the list of the stupidest things I've ever said. Are you really convinced she's safe with him?"
"What do you think?" he nodded toward the living room.
Buffy turned her head to see Spike and Willow wrapped around one another, her head resting on his chest as his fingers brushed over her hair.
"Gods, she never looked that content, even with Oz," the slayer murmured, transfixed by the tender exchange.
Giles nodded as she looked back at him, "The important thing now is to find out what happened to Spike. I just want you to understand it won't make any difference as far as his feelings for Willow are concerned."
"Do you think she's in danger--from whoever took Spike, I mean--now that they're together?"
"I'm afraid it's very likely."
"Then we have to track them down and find out what they did to him," she asserted.
"Agreed," he nodded.
***
Spike was growing impatient with waiting. Buffy had insisted she go alone to try to track down the men who abducted him. She had argued that a collection of bloodless corpses wouldn't provide any useful information, and Willow needed to remain behind where she would be safe. However, as the hours continued to snail by, the vampire began to regret having agreed to the slayer's demands.
"I should have turned you that night," he muttered to the redhead beside him. "We both could have been out there, sucking the life out of those bastards."
She looked up at him. Something in his voice sent a chill through her veins, and she waited with a sense of foreboding for him to continue.
"You didn't want me, then," he said, looking knowingly back at her.
"No," she admitted.
"In fact, you were afraid of me. We hadn't been lovers."
"No," she repeated more softly.
"What happened to your wolf?"
The question rattled her for a moment, and she stood up and turned away from him, twisting her fingers nervously together as she realized his true memory was returning, piece by piece.
"He--left me," she whispered.
His eyes flew to her. It was not the answer he had expected, and the raw pain in her voice was almost palpable.
"Why?" he asked, his voice almost tender in its tone.
She shook her head and moved to the window, keeping her back to him as she answered, "He decided he couldn't be with me. He was afraid of what he might do, of hurting me. I haven't seen or heard from him in over a month."
"You're still in love with him," the statement was mildly accusatory, laced with jealousy.
"I don't know what I am," she sighed. "Tired, mostly. I guess."
He stood and moved toward her, "Do you love me?"
"Maybe. Or maybe it's just the blood between us."
Spike put his hands on her shoulders and turned her to face him, "Or maybe it's the same thing."
"Hold me," she whispered, her small hands digging into the sleeves of his duster.
He pulled her against him and wrapped his arms around her.
"You're all I can feel. All of the time, whether I'm asleep or awake, there's only you," she murmured.
"I know," he nodded against her hair.
He drew her back to the chair and pulled her onto his lap to nuzzle her neck. She gasped as he bit into her and drank slowly before opening a small gash on his own neck and pulling her lips down to drink from him. Willow accepted his blood without hesitation. The bond had developed to the point that refusal didn't even occur to the redhead. To deny her body the blood that spilled from him would have been like denying her lungs the oxygen they needed to survive.
Spike smiled softly as she lapped contentedly at his blood. Little by little, the muddy memories of the past weeks had begun to filter through his brain until they now flowed clearly. He was grateful he had gotten to her before he'd been dragged off by his abductors. Grateful he had decided to initiate the bond rather than turn her. And grateful he had remembered nothing of his true intentions before the bond had been cemented between himself and his redhead.
He paused in his thoughts as Willow shifted her head away from his neck to rest against his chest. She relaxed against him for several silent minutes and waited for the buzzing in her brain to subside.
"You remember everything, now, don't you?" she finally whispered.
"Everything," he nodded.
"Tell me," she asked.
