Art Bell IS "J.C."!!!!!!
Q: I am talking now with Stanley Livingston, author of "How I Found J.C."
Mr. Livingston, tell us now how you personally discovered
the true identity of J.C.,and in doing so, stumbled upon
this most dark secret of talk-show-host Art Bell.
A: Yes, "stumbled" is right. This information did come my way most accidently.
Q: Please, sir, I hear a radio! Can you please turn it off?
A: Well, I'd hate to do that actually.
You see, it's a Free-Play radio, and I just finished winding it up.
I wouldn't want all of that energy I just expended to go to waste!
Q: I guess I see your point.
A: Anyway, I was making this Fed-Ex delivery to Parump.
Q: Oh, that's okay, do you need to get a drink?
A: What's that?
Q: I heard you clear your throat--
thought maybe a drink would help!
A: No, my throat's fine. I just said "Parump."
That's the town where Art lives in Nevada!
Q: Oh, that's right. So what were you delivering?
A: Ramona had called in an order for Absolutely Fresh Flowers.
Seems Art had forgotten the anniversary again.
This is her way of helping out.
Q: She IS sweet.
A: So I see the red light above the door, but somehow it doesn't register.
Must have been all those Christmas decorations around the studio door.
Q: So you're telling me that you walked right in on a live broadcast?
A: Yeah, well, that's how I found out Art's dirty little secret about "J.C."
Q: Please, go on!
A: Well, there was Art talking to "J.C." on his show,
ONLY ART WAS PLAYING BOTH PARTS!
Q: Oh my God!
A: No, Pat Robertson wasn't on yet. He was the next guest.
Q: Sounds like a scene right out of "Dr Jeckyl & Mr. Hyde!"
A: Well, actually, it was more like "The Exorcist,"
only Art didn't look as good as Linda Blair.
Q: I think I get the picture. Any idea what caused his transformation?
A: Yeah, I discovered that on my next delivery.
I got suspicious when I found out what Ramona had ordered--
a case of Perier water. Seems Art starts to turn into "J.C." whenever
HE DRINKS TOO MUCH OF THAT
MAGNETICALLY-CONDITIONED WATER OF HIS!
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