Announcer:

And now it's time for Silly Songs With Larry.

The part of the show where Larry comes out and sings a silly song.

One day, while talking with Dr. Archibald, Larry confronts one of his deepest fears...

Larry:

If my lips ever left my mouth,

packed a bag and headed south

that'd be too bad.

I'd be so sad.

Archie:

I see... that'd be too bad.

You'd be so sad...

Larry:

...that'd be too bad!

If my lips said "Adios!

I don't like you; I think you're gross"

That'd be too bad.

I might get mad.

Archie:

Hmmm...that'd be too bad.

You might get mad...

Larry:

...that'd be too bad!

If my lips moved to Duluth,

left a mess and took my tooth

that'd be too bad.

I'd call my dad.

Archie:

Oh, dear! That'd be too bad.

You'd call your dad...

Larry:

...that'd be too bad!

Archie:

Hold it! Did you day your father?

Fascinating... So what your're saying is, if your lips left you...

Larry:

That'd be too bad.

I'd be so sad!

I might get mad.

I'd call my dad!

That'd be too bad.

Archie:

...that'd be too bad?

Larry:

...that'd be too bad!

Archie:

Why?

Larry:

'Cuz I love my lips!

boodle de boop bop ...

Archie:

Oh my... This is more serious than I though.

Larry what do you see here?

Larry:

Ummm... That looks like a lip.

Archie:

What about this?

Larry:

It's a lip.

Archie:

And this?

Larry:

It's a lip; It's a lip;

It's a lip, lip, lip!

It's a lip; It's a lip;

It's a lip, lip, lip!

It's a lip; It's a lip;

It's a lip, lip, lip!

Liiiiiiiips!

Lip, lip, lip!

Archie:

Larry... Tell me about your childhood.

Larry:

When I was just two years old.

I left my lips out in the cold

And they turned blue!

What could I do?

Archie:

The turned blue...

What could you do?...

Larry:

Oh, the turned blue!

On the day I got my tooth,

I had to kiss my great Aunt Ruth,

She had a beard;

And it felt weird!

Archie:

My, my! She had a beard;

and it felt wierd?

Larry:

... she had a beard!

Ten days after I turned eight,

got my lips stuck in a gate.

My friends all laughed...

... and I just stood ther until

the Fire Department came and broke the lock with a crowbar

and I had to spend the next six weeks in lip rehab

with this kid name Oscar who got stung by a bee right on the lip

and we could'nt even talk to each other until the fifth week

'cuz both of our lips were so swollen and when he did start speaking

he just spoke Polish and I only knew like three words in Polish

except now I know four because Oscar taught me the word for lip,

"osta."

Archie:

Your friends all laughed...

... "osta"... how do you spell that?

Larry:

I don't know.

Archie:

So what you're saying, is that when you were young...

Larry:

They turned blue!

What could I do?

She had a beard and it felt wierd!

My friends all laughed...

"Osta!"

Archie:

I'm confused.

Larry:

I love my lips!

boodle de boop bop...

Announcer:

This has been Silly Songs with Larr.

Tune in next time to hear Larry say..

Larry:

Have I ever told you how I feel about my nose?

Archie:

Oh, look at the time...