Ann De Sollar on Larry King

Here is a partial transcript of the "Larry King Live" program. Included is the entire interview with Ann. I only caught the last few minutes of the interview last night, and when I saw her face, everything came rushing back. I'm so impressed with her strength and her working to help others understand the need to live with passion, today, and everyday.


Transcript follows:

As we go to break and we show you scenes from ground zero in New York, Ann De Sollar will join us. Her boyfriend was Gary Lutnick. He died in the World Trade Center terror attack. He was the brother of Cantor Fitzgerald's CEO, Howard Lutnick, and we have a very dramatic love and loss story to tell you. Don't leave us. We'll be right back.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK) KING: And now a story of love and loss. Joining us from New York is Ann De Sollar. Her boyfriend was the late Gary Lutnick. She was the former CEO of the duchess of York's nonprofit foundation Chances for Children.

How did you and Gary meet?

ANN DE SOLLAR, BOYFRIEND DIED AT WTC: It was interesting, Larry. I had been asked to go to New York by the duchess of York, to be the CEO of her nonprofit organization, Chances for Children, as you had mentioned, and had met the directors of Chances for Children. And Gary's sister-in-law was the director. Before I had accepted the position, I was still living in Boston, and she passed my number along to Gary. He called me in Boston and wanted to fly up for a blind date and I said, "absolutely not." I was actually mourning the death of someone who had asked me to marry them six months prior.

KING: You had lost a fiance, right?

DE SOLLAR: Well, he had asked me to marry him, and after he passed away I found the engagement ring. And that was six months prior to meeting Gary.

KING: So how did it develop with Gary?

DE SOLLAR: Well, he was real persistent. He finally called back and said, you know, I have business in Boston on Friday, and I'd love to fly up on Thursday so we could have dinner beforehand. And it was, I think, fate, because there was a horrible snowstorm and Gary got snowed in for three days. So we had a long first date, and it got very serious very quickly.

KING: So serious that you were converting to Judaism, right?

DE SOLLAR: Yes, we were taking Derekh Torah classes. I wasn't a very good student, but we were definitely talking about that.

KING: But you did not get engaged. Why?

DE SOLLAR: We did not get engaged, because I was having a lot of trouble, living in the past. Living in the past.

KING: Over your lost boyfriend.

DE SOLLAR: Yes, yes, yes, over the loss that I had before Gary. And Gary had said, going into the relationship, that he wanted to be engaged within a year. He wanted to move forward and have children. And I couldn't do that, because I was living in the past. And -- I had done a lot of traveling on my own after I had left the duchess of York's nonprofit organization, and it was kind of a joke we had because each time I would do this traveling on my own, Gary would break up with me because he didn't want me to go.

KING: So you go to Hawaii, right?

DE SOLLAR: Yes.

KING: To attend a Tony Robbins seminar on Thursday -- this is before the tragedy of Tuesday.

DE SOLLAR: Correct.

KING: And you talked to Tony and he advises to you to what?

DE SOLLAR: Well, I got there and I was having hesitation about being there, because I had just broken up with Gary. And Tony said something to the whole audience -- it wasn't just to me. But he said, "you cannot dance in the present if you're carrying around a ball and chain from the past." And it clicked. And so I got on the phone right then and there, and I called Gary, and I realized it was 4:00 in the morning New York time, so I left a message at his office saying, "I understand, I've been living in the past. I haven't been living in the present. I'm ready to commit to you, I'm ready to get married. I'm ready to have those three little boys we talked about."

KING: So you brought him the happiest news of his life, and you leave it on his machine, right?

DE SOLLAR: At the office. I left it on his voice mail at the office.

KING: You didn't want to wake him up at home.

DE SOLLAR: I knew he wouldn't make any sense of it.

KING: He gets into office in the morning. You're sleeping in Hawaii. right?

DE SOLLAR: Correct.

KING: OK, how do you know there's a message on your machine?

DE SOLLAR: Oh, on my machine?

KING: Yeah. You got a message from him, right?

DE SOLLAR: Well, then Tuesday morning I got a message on my voice mail -- he had called at 8:56 in the morning, which was 2:56 in the morning Hawaii time, and I couldn't find my phone. It was in the dark. And then he went into voice mail and left me a message from the Trade Center.

KING: Did you hear that message before you were watching television to see the accident at the Trade center?

DE SOLLAR: I wasn't watching any television for probably at least a week, but I had a friend, friends call me. It was a couple that we actually did a lot of things with, and they told me what had happened. And then I checked my messages.

KING: And we now have that message, and we're going play it for the audience. This is Gary Lutnick calling Hawaii and leaving a message for our guest, Ann. Listen.

(BEGIN AUDIO CLIP)

GARY LUTNICK, VICTIM OF WTC: Hey, baby. It's me. I'm in the World Trade Center and -- a plane hit this building and I'm on the 104th floor and it's filling up with smoke. I love you very much, and I'm sorry that we had to go through what it is that we went through. Oh, my God. My life is probably going to end very, very shortly. I love you, baby. Bye-bye.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Let's go. Hold the vents. Is there any vents in here?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: No. Close the door.

LUTNICK: Bye, baby. Bye.

(END AUDIO CLIP)

KING: He said, "my life is going to end very, very shortly," and then that pause, and, "goodbye." How on earth did you handle that?

DE SOLLAR: Well, I have to first say, Larry, that I couldn't listen to that right now. So that was the only way I could -- can keep my composure right now. The thing that really struck me about Gary's message, as so many other people who left messages to those who they loved, is the fact that in Gary's last moment of his life, he had the composure to make the choice to call those who he loved. And we need to take that example and tell people how much we care about them every day, as Gary did. And use those messages that were left to people as an example that we've got to reach out and tell people how much we care about them.

And, Larry, I think that if -- if people crumble, like those buildings did, then the terrorism has won. And what we've got to do is focus on the positive attributes of people like Gary and the other victims, incorporate that in ourselves and move forward. And one of Gary's positive attributes was that he told people how much he cared about them all the time.

KING: There was a service for him yesterday, right?

DE SOLLAR: Yes, there was. It was...

KING: What was that like for you?

DE SOLLAR: Very hard, Gary -- Larry, I'm sorry. Very, very hard. It was very emotional. I was trembling the entire time, but I think that you've got to experience those emotions. You can't bottle them up inside, because they explode like a volcano.

KING: Ann, I thank you very much for sharing with us and for making available the tape. I think you have helped thousands of people.

DE SOLLAR: I hope so.

KING: Ann De Sollar in New York.