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Fairy Tales Explained by an Expert


Once upon a time a little old man and a little old woman lived in a little old cottage in a little old wood, and a little old fairy came to visit them, and she said, "I grant wishes. I can grant you three wishes."

The little old woman and the little old man were very smart. They wished for peace and happiness on earth, health and prosperity for all, and the granting of more wishes.

"Your wishes have been granted," the fairy replied in a tone of benevolence.

"Just like that?" said the little old woman.

"Wait a minute," said the little old man. "My back still hurts. If we get health and happiness, isn't that supposed to go away?"

"Whoever said you get health and happiness?" asked the fairy. "The nerve of some people! I just grant wishes. I don't make them come true."

"Thanks a lot," said the little old woman.

"Oh, it was nothing," beamed the fairy. And with that she disappeared.


Once upon a time there was a young girl who had to go and live with a Beast. She was his hostage because her father had stolen from him a single rose intended for her. The Beast was under a spell; he had been a handsome prince before. The only thing that could break the spell was the love of a pure heart.

At first the young girl hated living with the Beast, but as time went on she began to notice that he had a noble soul. He in turn grew fonder and fonder of her, and could not bear to see her suffer. Therefore, when she pined for her father he decided to let her go, for he truly loved her, and if you truly love someone you will not keep her a prisoner. But he entreated her to come back to him before a month was up, because otherwise he would die without her.

The young girl truly loved the Beast. In fact, during her captivity his features had begun to grow on her. For when we love, the object of our love becomes beautiful to us. What at first seemed horrible now becomes dear. And when she returned too late to save her Beast, and saw him dying, a tear of remorse fell upon his furry hide as she granted his deepest wish and promised to marry him in the little time they had left together.

A terrible thing happened. The features that had become so familiar began to change. The horns, the claws, the fangs, everything! It was horrifying to the poor girl. Before her eyes a strange face emerged, a strange form that she could not associate with her beloved.

They tried to make it work. But during a formative period in their relationship, she had been conditioned to associate the man she loved with an entirely different appearance from what she was faced with now. She could not find her beloved in those strangely human eyes.

"It just wasn't the same," she lamented years later, shaking her head sadly. "It just wasn't the same."

The prince's inheritance was squandered on therapy, marriage consultants and alternative living arrangements. Eventually they gave up on the relationship, divorced and lived unhappily ever after.


Once upon a time there were two sisters who got along very well until their widowed mother remarried. The new living arrangement meant that everyone was saddled with the husband's daughter, and a sad situation that was, to be sure. The girl was happy as the day was long, yet somehow managed to make everyone feel sorry for her. She liked every kind of work, and her mind was free from all worries and cares. Her godmother set her up to marry a prince, of all the people who didn't need more attention. What would someone like that do with money and real estate? She didn't appreciate it at all.

Why did this girl get more and more when she was already happy? Because she was deemed deserving. Those who were more needful were ignored because they were deemed undeserving. There was no consideration of what anyone was actually feeling. Which brings us to the central issue of this story: Marxist economics versus a market economy.

There are serious flaws at the heart of this tale. First of all, marrying someone on the third date is just asking for trouble. But that's not the half of it. As every woman knows, the whole story is back to front. Now ladies, tell me if I'm wrong. First you meet your handsome prince, and then you do all that housework.


Once upon a time there were three billy goats Gruff. They were not clever goats, a fact which is important to remember. They lived on one side of a river, and all they ever wanted to do was get over to the conservation area on the other side, where sweet green grass and clover were being carefully cultivated by the troll assigned to the region. This troll even had to keep watch under a bridge to prevent the goats from trespassing.

Nobody actually knows what happened, but there was a nasty incident on the bridge, as the biggest goat commandeered the conservation area. The three billy goats Gruff lived happily ever after eating the sweet green grass and clover, thereby destroying their fragile ecosystem, turning the entire region into a desert and eventually dying of starvation.

And the good troll was never seen again.

graphics courtesy of 321 Clipart

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