I FELL DOWN.....JESUS PICKED ME UP
A STORY OF LUPUS
NO ONE KNOWS THE EXACT TIME OR DAY THAT THEY
WILL FALL.WE ALL FALL DOWN AT ONE TIME OR ANOTHER.
I ALWAYS THOUGHT OF MYSELF AS A "CHRISTIAN" WITH
A LOT OF "FAITH".LITTLE DID I KNOW THAT THIS "FAITH"
WAS TO BE TESTED.TESTED IN WAYS I COULD HAVE NEVER
DREAMED OF. MY LIFE WAS GOOD....I HAD A BEAUTIFUL AND TALENTED
DAUGHTER.A FAMILY THAT WAS CLOSE AND CARING.THE
LOVE OF MY LIFE"JOE".EVERYTHING SEEMED TO BE WONDERFUL.
>BR.
I HAD A JOB THAT I TRUELY LOVED.IT TOOK ME SEVERAL
YEARS TO GET MY DEGREE IN NURSING,BUT IT WAS WORTH IT.
I WAS A SUPERVISOR,WITH STAFF THAT RESPECTED ME.
PATIENTS AND THEIR FAMILIES WERE LIKE AN EXTENDED
FAMILY.ALL IN ALL, EVERYTHING OUTWARDLY APPEARED
"GOOD","WONDERFUL". IN 1989, I BEGAN TO HAVE "EPISODES" THERE WASN'T
ANYTHING PARTICULAR I COULD PUT MY FINGER ON.
I STARTED FAINTING AT WORK....I ENDED UP IN THE
EMERGENCY ROOM ON SEVERAL OCCASSIONS.EACH TIME
THE DOCTORS DIDN'T HAVE AN ANSWER. OTHER THINGS WERE GOING ON...I HAD SWELLING
OF MY FINGERS AND ANKLES.I ACHED ALL OVER.I JUST FELT
SICK!!!!.I DIDN'T SLEEP AT NIGHT.I FELT WEAK DURING
THE DAY AND COULDN'T FUNCTION ON THE JOB. FINALLY,I HAD TO QUIT MY JOB.THIS WAS THE MOST HEART BREAKING THING FOR ME.
MANY, MANY, TESTS AND SO MANY DOCTORS...STILL
NO DIAGNOSES.BY THEN I WAS SWOLLEN WITH
FLUID,MY EYES LOOKED LIKE LITTLE SLITS IN MY SWOLLEN FACE.
MY FEET WERE SO SWOLLEN THAT I COULDN'T GET ON ANY SHOES.
MY SKIN COLOR WAS A "GREYISH" TONE.I LOOKED LIKE DEATH.
I THOUGHT I WAS DYING...I HAD NEVER KNOWN THIS KIND OF FEAR.MY NURSING EXPERIENCE TOLD ME THAT SOMETHING VERY
SERIOUS WAS WRONG.THE QUESTION WAS "WHAT" NO ONE
SEEMED TO KNOW. FINALLY ,I WENT TO A YOUNG AGRESSIVE DOCTOR.HE
IMMEDIATELY STARTED ASKING ME QUESTIONS,IT APPEARED
FINALLY SOMEONE KNEW WHAT I WAS FEELING.HE SENT ME TO
A SPECIALIST FOR MORE TESTS.BY THEN, I WAS IN BAD SHAPE.
I WAS ADMITTED INTO THE HOSPITAL...I HAD AT LEAST
EIGHT DOCTORS WORKING ON ME.AFTER WHAT SEEMED LIKE DAYS
THE DIAGNOSES WAS IN "LUPUS"
AS A NURSE I KNEW WHAT IT WAS,NOW I HAD TO
UNDERSTAND WHAT IT MEANT FOR ME..MY KIDNEYS HAD
GOTTEN SO BAD THE DOCTORS WANTED TO TAKE THE WORST ONE.
IT WAS THEIR CONSENSES THAT I WAS DYING.IN FACT,IT WAS
CHRISTMAS TIME AND I REMEMBER THE DOCTOR COMING INTO
MY ROOM AND SAYING"GET YOUR AFFAIRS IN ORDER" THIS WAS EARTH SHATTERING,MY MIND COULD NOT
GRASP WHAT HE WAS TELLING ME.I PANICKED. I WOULDN'T SEE HER GRADUATED FROM HIGH SCHOOL,
I WOULDN'T SEE HER GET MARRIED.MY BEAUTIFUL BABY,
I WAS GOING TO LOSE HER.
I FELT HIS PRESENCE..I KNEW THAT HE WAS GOING
TO HOLD ONTO ME AND HELP ME..
I KNEW THE ROAD
WAS GOING TO BE ROUGH. BAD TIMES I WAS GOING
TO HAVE.SOMEHOW,I JUST KNEW, IT WAS GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT.
I STAYED IN THE HOSPITAL.THE DOCTORS HAD TO TRY
SEVERAL DIFFERENT MEDICATIONS,HIGH DOSES TO TRY AND
STABILIZE ME.ALL OF MY BODY SYSTEMS WERE FAILING.
A CALMNESS CAME OVER ME AND I PRAYED FOR STRENGHT.
I ASKED JESUS TO "HELP" SLOWLY,SLOWLY,SLOWLY THE MEDICATIONS BEGAIN TO WORK.
AND I WENT HOME WITH LOTS OF MEDICATION.
I WASN'T REALLY PREPARED FOR LOSING MY INDEPENDANCE,
TO BECOME DEPENDENT.I NOW HAD THE ROLE OF PATIENT.
I HAD TO GIVE UP MY APARTMENT AND MOVE IN WITH MY PARENTS.IT WAS A "TEAM" EFFORT TO CARE FOR ME..MY LIFE
HAD CHANGED.IN THE FOLLOWING MONTHS I EXPERIENCED
EVERY CONCEIVABLE PROBLEM THAT COULD BE HAD WITH
LUPUS.NUMEROUS TRIPS TO THE HOSPITAL. I HAD BOTH OF MY HIPS REPLACED,LOST MY HAIR,
GAINED OVER 75LBS. FROM THE STEROIDS. I HAVE ARTHRITIS
IN ALL MY JOINTS,FACIAL PALSY,TIA'S,ASTHMA,OPTHALMIC
MIGRAINS,ULCERS AND CHEST PAIN.WITH DAYS OF WEAKNESS.
PERIODS OF DIZZINESS WHICH MAKES DRIVING A THING OF THE PAST.I LOSE MY VISION AT TIMES...
THROUGH ALL OF THIS I RECEIVED A MESSAGE.
"GOD WAS NOT THROUGH WITH ME"
I NOW KNOW WHY I HAD BECOME A NURSE.EVENTHO I'AM
NOT ABLE TO WORK,I DO HAVE KNOWLEDGE AND EXPERIENCE
TO SHARE WITH OTHERS. MY "FAITH" HAS SUSTAINED ME."GOD" HAS BLESSED ME IN
WAYS I CAN'T BEGAIN TO EXPAIN.I KNOW THAT EVEN WITH THE PAIN,
I'AM ALIVE,EVEN WITH THE WEAKNESS,I'AM ALIVE.BY THE GRACE OF
GOD.HE HAS GIVEN ME THE MOST WONDERFUL "GIFT" OF ALL.
"LIFE" AND I CHERISH EACH DAY.
I SEE GOD'S MIRACLES EVERY DAY.THERE IS EVIDENCE OF IT.
EACH TIME I WAKE UP,OR LOOK UP AT THE BEAUTIFUL SKY.
I KNOW THAT GOD HAS A PURPOSE FOR ME.
"JESUS LIFTED ME UP" MY DAUGHTER IS GROWN WITH A DAUGHTER OF HER OWN.
IN FACT,I'AM GOING TO BE A GRANDMOTHER AGAIN.MY FAMILY
IS STRONGER THAN EVER.JOE,THE LOVE OF MY LIFE IS STILL
PUTTING UP WITH ME(((((LOL)))))) I'AM SURROUNDED BY LOVE.
"GOD'S BLESSING" I HAVE MET MANY PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET,WE SHARE A COMMON BOND.I USE THIS TO EDUCATE PEOPLE ABOUT LUPUS.
I TELL MY STORY TO DEMONSTATE"HOPE" TO OTHERS.
I ENCOURAGE "PRAYER",AND POINT OUT DAILY THAT WE ARE
GIVEN "MIRACLES" IF ONLY WE LISTEN AND WATCH.GOD SHOWS
US HIS WONDER AND POWER DAILY. PLEASE VISIT THE LINKS BELOW.E-MAIL ME IF YOU WOULD
LIKE TO BE ADDED TO THE PRAYER LIST OR JUST WANT TO CHAT.
SEND A GREETING TO SOMEONE,SHOW THEM THEY ARE NOT ALONE.....
LINKS
HEALINGWELL
I REMEMBER CRYING SO HARD THAT I THOUGHT MY HEAD
WOULD BURST.I WAS TERRIFIED.MY THAUGHTS WERE
ABOUT LEAVING MY DAUGHTER.
I THINK THAT WAS THE INSTANT THAT "JESUS" SPOKE TO
ME..
I WAS BEDRIDDEN AND COULDN'T WALK.THE ACTIVTIES OF DAILY LIVING I COULD NOT DO FOR MYSELF.
REMEBER:GOD IS STILL ON THE THRONE,AND ALL THINGS ARE
POSSIBLE THROUGH HIM.
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GOD IS GOOD..ALL THE TIME..JUST TRUST HIM
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