I should be working on my essay, but instead I'm posting to this blog.
Mood:  cheeky
Doesn't this emoticon look like he just bit into a lemon?

If you haven't heard by now, I have two really good bits of new:
o my brother got married on the 4th!!! Be sure to check out the pictures.
o I'm going to be published! An article I wrote based on my blog entry about old movies is going to be published in the Harrisburg Patriot News. Woo hoo! :) I will sign autographs for a nominal fee.

Anyway, I have a rough draft of "Notes on Style" that needs to be finished in just over two hours, but instead I'm blogging. Go figure.

I emailed Sharon my original draft, which I will share with you now:

Here is my essay on style.

Style is very important. If you re-arrange the letters in style, it spells lytes which is short for electrolytes which is what you use when you need to see in a dark room.

Here are some notes on style:
a
b-flat
d
c-sharp
clef
and cliff's.

This is the end of my essay. Period....... .

Wonder if I could actually hand that in...

We had to do another assignment for class tonight which I have already finished. We're doing imitation exercises where we have to copy, by hand, certain passages and then we have to re-write the passages changing the subject material or words while retaining the original voice. This time we had to do bible verses. Here are my re-writes of three classic bible verses:

Bible verse 1 imitated to reflect a pizza delivery guy.

I awoke and felt within myself that my stomach was not yet to the fullest, nor the fridge to the stocked, neither yet bread to the ready, nor yet snacks or meals of value, not any favour to a man of hunger; but luck and convenience happeneth to save me. For man also knoweth how to call: as the fish sticks that are frozen in an evil lump, and as the chicken that are freezer burned in the bag; so are the pangs of hunger growing at a dangerous rate, when it cometh suddenly upon him. This number have I seen in the phone book, and it seemed great unto me. This was a little city, and few men lived in it, and there came a great Hut within it, and upon it, and growing up all around it. Now there was found in it a poor delivery man, and he by his pizza delivered the city, yet no man tipped the same poor man. Then said I, pizza is the bringer of strength: nevertheless the poor man?s delivery is despised, and his tips are not given. The swear words of delivery men are heard out loud more than the kind words of him that are spoken among friends. Pizza is better than leftovers of yesterday: and one pizza man does much good.

Bible verse 2 imitated to reflect General Hospital in the 80s and 90s.

And so I went, there, to a place far away, where there lived a family accomplished in the art of lying. And I discovered there a first born son who had a wife of many years and who he had once dropped a roof on; because there was infidelity by her. And there were in the same town doctors practicing in the hospital, keeping watch over Port Charles by night and day. And, lo, the devil of the Cassadines came upon them, and a darkness of evil enveloped the town: and they were very afraid. And the devil said unto them: Fear not, for, behold, I bring you no trouble, but great indifference, to all people but Luke Spencer. For unto you is born this day in the country of Greece a prince, which is Nikolas, your Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you: Luke shall find the babe not until many years later, leaving his wife over it. And suddenly there was around the angel a multitude of snowflakes with Helena praising Stavros and saying: Praise to Cassadines in their glory, and in Port Charles unrest, fear for all Spencers.

Sir Thomas Browne imitated to reflect the 2000 Presidential election.

If the proximity of our last election brought a nearer controversy into it, there was disquietude in Florida rare, and no cooperation from half-wits. But the long recount and living undecideth one for president; when voting makes us the sport of lying, when even Al grew politically cruel, and George could hardly be said to be the wisest of men. But many are too early tired, and before the date of election. Recounting stretcheth our days, misery makes Americans? nights, and time hath no end to it. But the most annoying thing is that which can unwish itself, numbers to be greater, rather never to have been, which was beyond the tolerance of Al, who cursed not the state of Florida, but his naivety; discontent to have so far been, as to have a title of president, although he had gained here but just the popular vote, and as if he had the election.

Well, I'm sure that's more than enough for you to read for now! Off to write my essay!

Quote of the Blog
"Too many good docs are getting out of business. Too many O-B-G-Y-N's aren't able to practice their, their love with women all across this country.'' - our illustrious President Bush (insert giggle here)

That?s good. Very good. He?s improving. Last time he introduced me as your mouthpiece.
Mood:  smelly
Random
Okay, so I'm not really smelly, but who, honestly, would choose smelly as their mood? Smelly isn't even a mood, it's a state of being! Moving on...

Is anybody there? Does anybody care?
I've been wondering who has been reading this blog, except, of course, for John and Ken (31). I thought I would tally the location of my readers and then if anyone pops by here and reads, they can add their location by adding a comment.

So far, I have:
- numerous readers in the US
- 1 reader in South Africa
- 1 reader in Slovenia
- Arica, in Buffalo, which is close enough to the border to be considered Canada

Anyone from any other countries out there?

Oh Happy Day
Yesterday was my birthday and I got my pink watch!!!!!!!!!! Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Happy birthday to meeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!

I called my mom today and told her it was 364 days until my next birthday. :) I'm sure she's glad she endured that hard labor to give birth to me.

We had a little parterooo where I took every free chance I could to tell Democrat Groupie Ken, who will, heretofore, be known as Kenny, that for every cigarette he smoked he's taking of 7-11 minutes of his life (and this fact has to be true because the tv told me it). Kenny said he prefers to think optimistically: he's going with 7 minutes. Men! But he DID get me the watch, so I can't be too hard on him...

Bio
Speaking of my life history, I updated my profile: My Profile. Check it out!

Well, that's enough for now.

Toodles,
Laura

Quote of the Blog
Sam: About a week ago I accidentally slept with a prostitute.
Toby: [pause] Really?
Sam: Yes.
Toby: A prostitute?
Sam: A call girl.
Toby: Accidentally?
Sam: Yes.
Toby: I don't understand. Did you *trip* over something?

~ The West Wing

Hail, hail the gang's all here!
Mood:  cool
So I know it's been a while since I've written, but I've been busy. We had orientation here on campus (woo hoo) so I was working 11 hour days. Not to mention the fact that I had my sleep study (I don't want to talk about it - let's just say I've come to the conclusion that I'm never going to sleep again. But look at all the stuff I can get done with all those extra hours!) and lots of other miscellaneous extras going on. Anyway... I have tons of things to talk about. Some of them may be out-dated, but you can deal with it!

The Olympics
So I watched the opening ceremony while on the phone with Sharon. We do this often, talk on the phone and watch tv together. It's a good thing we're local, because I can't imagine what my phone bill would be otherwise. Sharon was upset with me because she hadn't made it into my blog yet, so I'm trying to make up for lost time. Sharon, Sharon, Sharon.

Anyway, we're watching the Olympics and I came to the conclusion that I am going to rot in hell for all eternity. But at least I'll have company as you can see by the following story.

I'm going to rot in hell because as we were watching the parade of nations (read: flipping channels until the US walks through) when India comes marching through. I quip "Hey, who's running the Quickie Mart?" Sharon laughs, I comment that I am going straight to hell.

Sharon reserves her own special place in the depths of Detroit when we watch China enter the arena. The commentators were commentating? commenting? commentatoring? about the flag bearer and other athletes. I commentatored, "I have serious problems with Ping Pong being considered a sport."

Sharon's response: "No, honey, that's the name of the flag bearer."

See? Burning in hell together.

Internet
The internet is really an amazing thing. It brings people together from all over the world. For example, much like David Hasselhoff, I seem to have more popularity out of this country rather than inside. I have "met" and continued to talk to several people from overseas. Natashja lives in South Africa and we've been talking the longest. We email each other practically ever day and giggle, while over 8,000 miles from each other, about Sue and Jack on STFBE.

Cheryl Jane lives in England and we've been talking for a while, also about STFBE. And my newest contact, Mateja, is from Slovenia, which is this little country in the middle of a bunch of other countries to the right of Italy. She's also an STFBE fan.

It's been really cool talking to everybody and learning about new cultures and everything. My only question is: Why do the Germans love David Hasselhoff?

Sharon.

Addiction
So I think I have a problem. I think I'm addicted to old movies. Turner Classic Movies is having a special deal this month where each day spotlights one star. I watched Katharine Hepburn day, Debbie Reynolds day, Doris Day day (hee hee), and yesterday, which was Ginger Rogers day. My problem is I stay up watching these movies way later then I should. And then I giggle really loudly all throughout these movies and then feel like a total idiot as I sit in my apartment all alone being sung to by Fred Astaire.

What's amazing is how much these actors worked! I mean, today, you do one movie, get $5 million and don't work for two years. The "golden age" actors did 2, 3, 4, even 5 movies a year! Ginger Rogers was in 5 movies in both 1934 and 1935. Can you imagine what would happen if someone went up to Julia Roberts and said, "I'm sorry, you have to do 5 movies next year." She'd smack them in the face! Ginger Rogers did 76 movies between 1929 and 1965.

Anyway, enough ranting about Rogers. Yesterday I watched Carefree, which was all about marriage, hypnosis, an old judge, and dancing. Tell me, why don't they make movies like this anymore? Then I stayed up to watch The Major and the Minor, which is this really funny story about Susan (aka Susu aka Ginger Rogers) who poses as a 12 year old to get reduced fair on a train. In her attempt to remain undiscovered (she's really in her 20s) she runs into this guy named Kirby who's a Major in the army or something. She ends up under the care of "Uncle Philip." Well, as all those stories went, Susu falls in love with Philip, and he falls in love with her, but instead of a twisted Lolita kind of thing, hilarity ensues. God, I love these movies. There was another movie on at midnight, but I was at least smart enough to tape that one and go to bed. I need help. Seriously. Anyone know of any good doctors, preferably one who will hypnotize me into marrying Fred Astaire, let me know.


Quote of the Blog
"Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?" ~ The Major and the Minors

Sharon.

tuck and roll, grandma, tuck and roll!
Mood:  silly
So my sister called to tell me she read my "less than flattering blog entry." She wanted to point out that she had been to the Marble Slab before and the one she went to had people with a little better concept of helping the customer. I would like to say that my sister is actually quite intelligent and even pretty wise about some things, which is actually kind of scary.

Also scary is the hurricane that will soon be hitting my sister's home. Apparently it's gone from a level 2 (duck and cover) to a level 4 (hope you have some homeowner's insurance). I saw images from Key West and it looks pretty bad.

The name of the hurricane is Charley, which is also the name of my coworkers' baby son (spelled Charlie). I am hoping that Charley will not mean that Charlie will grow up with a temperment like a hurricane. He's such a sweet little baby - and soooooooo cute! Nothing like a baby to get the hormones flowing.

Right now I'm trying to imagine my sister, her 6'4" husband, her two dogs, and three cats crammed into her one bathroom without windows. Keep in mind this bathroom is also where the keep the litter boxes. And to appease the dogs, she'll have to bring in some "babies." These are stuffed dog toys that the pups, especially Queequeg (no space, as my sister pointed out), love to play with. There is one particular baby that at one point in time was a very cute rabbit. Now it looks like the tragic result of a farm accident. The pink bunny used to have four legs, cute whiskers, two eyes, and a little nose. Bunny now has one leg that is still attached and no face. When Liz showed me the original in the store, I laughed so hard I was concerned that I would be the one needing the litter box. My sister, being the kind soul that she is, continues to sew the bunny so the dogs can tear it apart yet again.

Quote of the Blog
"Ken, my eyes are up here."
~ me

Stick a fork in me, I'm done!
Mood:  on fire
It's about a million degrees in my office right now. Okay, maybe not a million, but our little thermostat is off the scale, registering above 90. I thought I left Florida to get away from this.

Speaking of Florida, I had such a nice time! It was really hard to leave, especially after the adventures my sister and I had. They culminated on Sunday with a loooooong shopping trip to Sawgrass, which is like Arundel Mills on crack. It's supposed to be shaped like an alligator, but apparently it's one of those modern art up to interpretation alligators because I wasn't seeing it.

We got ice cream on our way out of the mall at this place called The Marble Slab, which is like Maggie Moo's if you've ever been there. You pick an ice cream and then you pick one or more "toppings" and they mix it all together on this cold marble slab (hence the name of the store). It was just before mall closing and my magna cum laude master's degree achieving sister couldn't quite figure out how to follow the directions. However, I must say our server left much to be desired and was not much help. After taking our orders and getting started on the mixing, our server decided she was done and just walked off. Liz and I looked at each other for a minute, confused, and I was seriously concerned my ice cream was going to melt before she got back. Fortunately, another girl stepped in and got us our orders. (Mine: swiss chocolate ice cream with a peanut butter cup; Liz: swiss chocolate ice cream with peanut M&Ms.) As we left, Liz imparted that I had to write about this in my blog. Hopefully she'll approve of this entry more than she did the last.

Back to the heat in my office (sorry if I'm a little scatterbrained. I suffered a head wound in the shower this morning - don't ask). The last time it was this hot in the school, I ended up praising the porcelain gods in the bathroom because I was suffering from heat exhaustion. Yeah, it's that hot. Let's hope that doesn't happen again.

For all those who care, only 17 shopping days until my birthday!!!

Ken (democrat groupie cynical chain smoker Ken) says I'll stop caring about my birthday when I get older. I don't think I will. And honestly, I hope I will always enjoy my birthday. What's not to love about gifts and cake and ice cream? And did I mention the cake and ice cream?

I'd like to give another shoutout to my buddies Sal and Gary at the sleep lab. I'll be up there Monday night for sleep study number 2 (read: sleep study where I have to wear the mask and use the machine as demonstrated by Paul Bunyan in the sleep apnea video). Can't say I'm looking forward to the mask or machine, but given how tired I've been lately, I'm willing to try just about anything. Well, anything legal.

I've finished most of the updates to my site. GH quotes and STFBE quotes are up. There's a new Kerry fact posted. I've updated Hour Follows Hour, my latest STFBE fic and my other STFBE fic - Magic Rainbow - is posted in all its glory. And don't forget to post comments to my blog! Ken (pornography I'm so lazy I need to hire a cleaning lady even though I live with two other guys Ken) has been the only one commenting so far aside from John (I also am too lazy so I hired a cleaning lady even though I live with two other guys John). Let's not let them take over my blog! :)

Au revoir!

Quote of the Blog
"When you crash a chopper in the Sahara with a woman, you get to see what she's made of. Unless she doesn't survive and the vultures get her. Then you really get to see what she's made of."
~ John Jacks, General Hospital