I am currently 23 weeks and 4 days pregnant and have experienced bleeding from about week 4. This is my story.

On 12 January this year my baby son, Jake was born still at 41 weeks, for no apparent reason. The experience is still very raw with me. As you can imagine both my dh, Rhys and I have felt like we've been to hell and back. The journey has been and still is very painful but strangely peaceful at times.

After burying Jake, we both felt we needed time to grieve before trying again. Needless to say, we were very shocked and amazed to find that what I thought was my first period after giving birth was really a pregnancy. I went for an u/s on the 21st April and they confirmed that the bleeding that I had been experiencing for the last 4 weeks was actually because I was expecting twins and one had miscarried. I was 7 weeks and 4 days pregnant. I was told that that would probably be the end of the bleeding.

It was for a short while. About 4 weeks! Since that time, I have been to the er on three occasions, one at 12 weeks, 15 weeks and 16.5 weeks. I have had 7 ultrasounds, and each time the baby is growing on schedule and seems completely oblivious to the bleeding and fuss going on around him. At both 12 and 15 weeks, the bleeding was like a light gush, no clots, but as you can imagine, very scary. I was able to get myself to the er, well actually Rhys drove me, where they examined me, and did an u/s confirming everything was ok, and the baby was growing fine.

At 16.5 weeks, I awoke at 5 am with blood and clots running down my legs, which were subsequently forming pools on the bathroom floor. Both Rhys and I were convinced, absolutely convinced, I was losing the baby. But no, after phoning an ambulance and being rushed into hospital and put on a drip for 24 hours! The baby was fine, and growing on target. Since that bleed, I have had one more, which was much darker blood, but still had clots in it. I had an u/s booked for the next day, so I decided to wait till then, yet again, everything was fine, and the baby looked great. The consultant did a bloodflow test and this came up normal. Basically the bleeding is not affecting my baby in any way at the moment.

That was 4 weeks ago and since then I just spotted brown until 2 weeks ago when the bleeding/spotting subsided completely! I must admit, I became really quite complacent about the bleeding and didn’t bother the midwife or doc unless it was heavy. I would have been speaking to them every day otherwise. The wonderful thing is that now my little one is kicking constantly so I get confirmation all the time that he's ok.

The cause of the bleeding has been uncertain since the start. They detected at one point a small subchorionic hematoma, (they said it couldn't still be the other twin), but they did say 'small', behind the placenta. We did get a measurement for the tear but for the life of me I can't remember it, only to say that it was extremely small (it was a very thin line and was only picked up by level 2 u/s). The amount of blood that I lost in no way corresponded to the size of the tear. Basically, the docs didn't know where the bleeding was coming from. The clot was not detected at my recent scan. I really wouldn't have believed that you can lose so much blood and still carry a healthy baby to term, but this is what seems to be happening for me.

One of the u/s techs said at one visit she "knew of women who had lost truck loads of blood and still carried to term and delivered 9 lb+ babies". This was so reassuring, as are all the boards with so many successful stories.

Whilst experiencing the heavy bleeding around weeks 12 - 19 weeks, I was advised by my consultant to "take it easy". When I asked him to clarify this, he said for me not to work. To just take it easy at home. He did also say that anything I do would not actually affect the bleeding in any way, but psychologically it would be better for me to rest. He said that if anything did happen and I lost this baby also, it would be better for my sanity for me to be able to say I'd done everything possible.

To be honest, I don't think he'd have said any of that and would probably have advised to continue as normal, if I hadn't already lost my son at the beginning of the year. I didn't really feel that activity was related to the heavy bleeding episodes, however, when I had become more active, I did tend to spot more. Spotting is something that all through the pregnancy I have experienced, and it's only in the last 2 weeks that it has all completely subsided. What I am still getting is slight discharge (but apparently this is normal!).

My one fear is premature labour, due to reading that if the bleeding continues past 20 weeks this can be a concern, but I must admit the consultant didn't seem that concerned and the bleeding has now stopped. I am on semi bedrest, they don't seem to go in for full bedrest in England, their attitude is if you're going to lose the baby, you will and there's nothing much you or anyone can do about it.

The only advice I would give to other moms is to try as much as possible to keep positive, talk to as many other moms who are experiencing the same thing (don't isolate) and try hard not to blame yourself if you do have more heavy bleeding and feel it might be related to activity level. I did not find that there was a very strong correlation. I also tried as much as possible to keep in the day (I still do this). 'Today all is well'. 'At this moment all is well with my baby', you know, that kind of thing. The experience of bleeding is very very frightening and sometimes I found just minute to minute reassuring myself helpful. Sometimes all you can do however, is accept that whatever will be will be.

Ironically, I didn't have any bleeding with my other son Jacob and he just passed away. These experiences have shown me both the fragility and the strength of human life. My baby son growing in my uterus is so determined to live regardless- it is quite amazing and truly wonderful. Each day that passes gives me strength and hope that I will deliver my baby healthy and alive in a few months time. My due date is the 30th November 2001.

Anyway, that's my story to date. I hope this will help - it has certainly helped me to write it.

Love, Fiona

Well, for a few more weeks I thought the bleeding was over. I expected to continue the pregnancy as usual and became quite blase about the whole affair. I was glad I could breathe a sigh of relief and fully expected to get to term. I remember commenting to a friend how nice it was not to have to worry about going to the toilet and checking the paper.

At 27.5 weeks I experienced a lot of fluid loss and went to the hospital to find out why. I was told it was a weak pelvis and to do some exercise. I had actually been experiencing quite a lot of fluid loss throughout my pregnancy and was concerned on a number of occasions. I was continually told not to worry about it. Two days after going into hospital I returned with excessive fluid loss and – yep! More bleeding!!. I couldn’t believe it. I was taken to the delivery suite and it was expected that my baby would be delivered there and then. I had premature rupture of the membranes. My baby did not arrive and I was to stay in the hospital for 5 weeks with on and off bleeding and continuous fluid loss.

On the 11th October this year Noah Jay Randall was born 7 weeks early at 4 lb 15 oz. He had to stay in the ICU for 4 weeks for observation but he was perfectly healthy. In the end I had to have an emergency c-section because the bleeding had become so bad. Apparently my placenta was full of small hematomas which were causing the bleeding. Dh and I are so very, very lucky to have Noah with us. After our experience of losing Jake, I really don’t know what we would have done if Noah had gone too. However, he is well, and now at 9 weeks, he’s 8 lb 5 oz.

All I can say is that I feel I can breathe again. Most of the people I have spoken to whilst I was in hospital had heard of or experienced positive outcomes with bleeding in pregnancy and this kept me going. It was interesting that the amniotic fluid I was losing was far less worrying than the blood. I think it’s every woman’s nightmare. Thankfully for me it turned into a wonderful dream and I am so grateful for that.