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I love You, Norris... where are you??

My Life When I'm Without You




On Tuesday July 3, 2000, I called you and called you but no one picked up. I missed you and missed you and thought maybe you're ignoring me. I remembered you told me before that you love me no matter what, so I tried to hold onto that thought. But hours after hours that you never respond to my messages, I developed this fear, that some day I'd lose you. That made me realized, missing someone you love is the worst pain you can get, but the fear of losing is even worst than missing...

I needed this from you but couldn't get...


A






I miss you, talk to me, please!



- a msg to N.B from Jade (july 4th, 2001)








Monday, August 27, 2001 --- not the worstest, but the lonliest day in this summer, and luck didn't come way. Since 7:14AM this morning till the afternoon, I've spend this time all alone, trying my best to find things to entertain myself on the net until C108 wakes up. I don't blame him, today I wasn't supposed to be on. I should be at work instead. But I don't know what happened, the car just never came so I stopped waiting and went online. When C108 finally woke up and msg me, it was 2:14PM. He had gone to at 5:59 *and so he says*. I've had enough with the computer, I've been on for 7 hours doings alone and I don't feel like staying on any longer. so around 2:26 I went offline saying 'bye' to both Reflexneternal and C108 who was ready for a game.

I called C108 after at 2:46PM after having to deal with my father's need and getting my phone card. It was a fine talk. But like I said earlier, luck was not on my side. About 15 mins of talking, his phone went dead. Bad news about the Apple phone card that I was using, deducts a lot of $ from each call I make. Now instead of the usually 96 mins I was suppose to have, I now only get 30 mins left. Again I don't blame anyone, it's just not my lucky day.

I went back online again.. who knows what time. About 5 something. Me, C108 and Reflexneternal played Bwar on the west server. It was my suggestion to go there. Wai is really getting to me, so now I want to have him to see that he'll never hear from me again and to him, I'll exist in his life no more.
But anyways, after a game or two, Reflexneternal left. Me and C108 played and met a girl name KxSilVa who we wanted to kill since she had almost eliminated C108. What's interesting was that from this game, we told her I was a guy. After that game, I had to go. But unfortunately I came back online, but only to play by myself again. C108 promised his friend CS and told me he gtg. I didn't do anything at first, just messed around with the screen. Then I remembered KxSilVa. I looked for her and msg her on the west server. She came to channel 108 after her game and we played. I think I like her* but the only problem with us playing together was that she disappeared once again after ending our unsuccessful real game of 2v2. I had pizza while I waited, I knew she wasn't going to come back. I knew I was alone again. I logged off after, there was really nothing to do, no one's even on to be with me. I took a shower and went to bed early, feeling more lonely than before.

*Now Something Interesting* -- A few months or years back, I have no idea what grade, I had a dream of being in this interesting building. The way it was build was like what u see in those cool mall. But it wasn't a mall, it was a school. No other school is build like this from the inside. Now's the real thing... At 10:25AM this morning, I went with my sister to Newmarket High School, to get her registrated. Inside the school, right when u walk in and go up the second floor, everything i see from there was exactly what i saw in my dream a couple of years back. I can't explain it, you've got to see it for yourself.





Friday September 7, 2001

Today is sis' birthday, but we didn't do anything. Dad said we can't celebrate it today because my big brother won't be home to celebrate it with us because he will be at work.

.....................

6:00pm while I was talking to N.B on the net, ready to go in a couple of mins, Wai called. My brother passed me the phone and while I talked to Wai, I try quietly and slowly to type a final msg to N.B saying 'Bye'. This way, I won't have to lie when he ask me 'what are you doing?' or 'who's on the computer?' and if I tell him I am, then he'd probably ask, 'who are you talking to? I hear soo much typing going on. Are u on invisible? put me on your visible list.....' So that was it. We just talked about school at first and then 'what gay thing he should buy for my sister's birthday' and he told me he would be coming over soon. Real soon... he won't say when, which is scary. We hung up about 30 minutes later.

................

Around 7:00PM - I made a mistake tonight, playing a tape labled Trish Thuy Trang, thinking to myself it was alright. 20 seconds after the first song played, I found out it wasn't alright. Listening to the first song made me remember all about Andy. About that first 2 months that we had known one another. The 2 songs were in Thai. THe beat, and the emotions that were put into these 2 songs were incredable, especially the first. The reason these songs represented Andy so much was because the time that I know Andy was the time I putted together this tape. The 1st song made me see back to the time I first know him and had thought he was a grade 11 while I was a grade 10 student. I adored him soo much at the time, and weverything he said, I believed. He was smart, brave, intelligent, talented, cute, and can sweet talk. And although he was vitnamese, he was born in Thailand and his face at some time had resembled a thai person who could have been mixed with vitnames. Because it was a thai song I was listening to, everything pointed to him, and the moment that I had long ago considered a dream. His face represtning thai begins to fate as a new(3rd) song begins to play, having nothing to do with Andy..






Monday September 10, 2001

-




Tuesday September 11th - Big disaster in the USA (NYC) at around 9:00AM





Wednesday September 12th
-





Thursday September 13, 2001 - There was a car accidently today on our way to school this morning. Both cars were badly damaged from either back or front side, blocking our way. Had to take a new path to Newmarket High. (Can't believe it, we were already going to be late)

...........

+

...........


* TONIGHT AT 6:00pm NEWMARKET HIGH SCHOOL DANCE!! *





Friday September 14th, 2001 - Had BAC test "quest" last period and was already late for my ride home. 5 mins from the school there was a car accident. At first it only involved 2 cars and a van, belonging to teens, prehaps from NMH. Just 1 minute from the accident was another 3 car also in an accident.

3 + 3 = 6 cars in 2 accidents
in the same day,
same hour,
and sametime.
Pretty scary.