DETROIT PISTONS
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The Detroit Pistons Off-Season Picnic
The Pistons are busy cleaning out their lockers for the off-season, when
Marmel comes into the locker room and starts hanging up flyers for the team
picnic, which will be held as his house. All the players grab a flyer and
are excited for the annual affair. Urkel asks if they are allowed to bring
dates, and Marmel tells him, of course! You'll have to pay for their cover
though Urk.
The day of the BBQ arrives and the players start showing up. Stackhouse
and Odom arrive, smoking cigars, and they bring about 4 or 5 of their best
ho's. Rasheed shows up with a woman who has more tattoos than himself.
Urkel shows up with Willy Feldman. When his teammates, give him a strange
look, he just says, Willy is my new best friend, give me a break guys.
Everybody has a good laugh, even Willy and Jakob. Marjerle shows up alone,
dressed in black.
Marmel comes out of his house and leads everybody around back to the pool.
The guys are excited about this being a pool party, but when they get
around back, they see the pool is covered in algae. There is even a snake
swimming around in it. Marmel shrugs his shoulders and says, "The water is
warm guys, I just didn't feel like paying $50 to the pool cleaner. Don't
you guys think that is a bit expensive?"
Pete Marlow runs the grill, and he is cooking up burgers, brats, and
chicken for the guys. Everybody is having a good time, and the booze is
flowing freely. Some of the guys start getting a little rowdy, and Marmel
notices Rasheed and Anthony Carter standing off to a corner and whispering
to each other. They shake hands and leave the party.
Meanwhile, they guys are on their second keg, and a couple pick-up
basketball games are going on. A couple of hours later, a big black van
comes screeching down the street, and peels out right in Marmel's back
yard. Rasheed and Carter hop out of the van and announce they brought some
special guests to the party. The whip open the back doors of the van and
there inside are Little Bibby, and Brian Solberg. The two guys are bound
and gagged and Rasheed drags them out of the van. Little Bibby is crying
his eyes out, and some of the players start pushing him around and laughing
at the "little crybaby!" Solberg looks frightened as they tie him up to
one of the backyard basketball hoops Marmel has. The Pistons players take
turns pouring some high content alcohol drinks down Solberg's throat until
is cannot even stand up. They proceed to untie Solberg and laugh as he
stumbles around the backyard. The guys lead him towards the pool, and
Phillipi Feldman kicks him right in the ass, and Solberg falls headfirst
into the swimming pool.
Meanwhile, Little Bibby has tears streaming down his face, and keeps
calling out for Daddy Wignasty, and the Pistons tease him more and more.
Finally, Marmel brings all the fun to an end by telling Rasheed and Carter
to take this little chickenshit back where the found him. The group moans,
but Rasheed hauls Bibby and Solberg back in the van and drops them off
around the next corner.
The night is winding down, and all the guys are sitting around a campfire,
telling stories about some of the other guys around the league they have
played with. Most of the stories are about WigBL players who are weak,
worthless, and fit to be a Celtic. Names like Cracka, Vince, Webber,
Swift, and Kidd are thrown around and laughed at. Then talk begins to
center around WigNosy and his rude comments about Marmel. Dan Marjerle,
silent the whole night, finally speaks up. "I was down in Phoenix the
other day." When Marjerle speaks, the rest of the team knows to shut-up
and listen. "I had a little meeting with that bitch Hilda Marjerle. I
confronted her about the comments WigNosy made. Let's just say she won't
be bothering anybody anymore." Dan grins, then says, ".....and I plan on
killing WigNosy." Urkel gasps and starts to protest, but Dan cuts him off,
and adds, ".....if he "noses" in our business anymore."
Dan's little comment put a real damper on the evening and the guys start
heading out. Marmel worries about what Dan is becoming, but decides that
this is not the time to talk to him about it. He will have to keep a close
eye on Dan though.
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