LIVING WITH CATS

Reigning Cats
(Playing ~ "Alley Cat")

CATS IN PHYSICS

LAW OF CAT INERTIA

A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force,
such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.

LAW OF CAT MOTION

A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.

LAW OF CAT MAGNETISM

All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to
the darkness of the fabric.

LAW OF CAT THERMODYNAMICS

Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in which case
all heat flows to the cat.

LAW OF CAT STRETCHING

A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken.

LAW OF CAT SLEEPING

All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable
for the human involved as is possible for the cat.

LAW OF CAT ELONGATION

A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any counter top
that has anything remotely interesting on it.

LAW OF CAT ACCELERATION

A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he gets good and ready to stop.

LAW OF DINNER TABLE ATTENDANCE

Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.

LAW OF OBEDIENCE RESISTANCE

A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's desire for her to do something.

FIRST LAW OF ENERGY CONSERVATION

Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will,
therefore, use as little energy as possible.

SECOND LAW OF ENERGY CONSERVATION

Cats also know that energy can only be stored by a lot of napping.

LAW OF ELECTRIC BLANKET ATTRACTION

Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump into bed at the speed of light.

LAW OF RANDOM COMFORT SEEKING

A cat will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable spot in any given room.

LAW OF BAG/BOX/OPEN DRAWER OCCUPANCY
All bags, boxes or open drawers in a given room must contain a cat
within the earliest possible nanosecond.

LAW OF CAT EMBARRASSMENT

A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her embarrassment
times the amount of human laughter.

LAW OF FURNITURE REPLACEMENT

A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.

LAW OF CAT LANDING

A cat will always land in the softest place possible.

LAW OF CAT DISINTEREST

A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort
a human expends in trying to interest him.

LAW OF PILL REJECTION

Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.

LAW OF CAT COMPOSITION

A cat is composed of: Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter !!

I'd love it if you would take the time to sign my guest book!

You may contact me by leaving a message in my guest book.