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How the Internet Really Began
(Playing ~ "Let the River Run," Carly Simon, from "Working Girl")

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com
did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dorothy. And Dot Com
was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she had been
called Amazon Dot Com.

She said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why doth thou travel far from town to town
with thy goods when thou can trade without ever leaving thy tent?"

And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of
a camel load, but simply said, "How, Dear?"

And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to
send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you
which hath the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums and
delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums.
The drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods
he had at the top price, without ever moving from his tent.

But this success did arouse envy. A man named Maccabia did secret himself
inside Abraham's drum and was accused of insider trading. And the young men did
take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They
were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Siderites, or NERDS for short.

And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening
sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to the drum
maker, one Brother William of Gates, who bought up every drum company in
the land. And indeed did insist on making drums that would work only with
Brother Gates' drumheads and drumsticks.

Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others."

And as Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or ... as it came to be known ...
"eBay," he said, "We need a name that reflects what we are." And Dot replied,
"Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators."

"YAHOO," said Abraham.

And that is how it all began!

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