His wife armed with a 20” long vibrator killed Alex Mijtus, 36 years old. Mrs. Mijtus had had enough of her husband’s strange sex Practices and one night during a prolonged session of "fun" she snapped, pushing all 20" of the vibrator into Alex's anus until it ruptured. Several internal organs and caused severe bleeding.

19

Debby Mills-Newbroughton, 99 years old, was killed as she crossed the Road. She was to turn 100 the next day, but crossing the road with her Daughter to go to her own birthday party, her wheel chair was hit by the truck delivering her birthday cake.

18

Peter Stone, 42 years old, was murdered by his 8-year-old daughter, who he had just sent to her room with no dinner. Young Samantha Stone felt that if she couldn't have dinner no one should, and she promptly Inserted 72 rat poison tablets into her father's coffee as he prepared Dinner. The victim took one slip and promptly collapsed. (Samantha Stone Was given a suspended sentence as the judge felt she didn't realize what She was doing, until she tried to poison her mother using the same Method one month later.)

17

David Danil, 17 years old, was killed by his girlfriend after he Attempted to "have his way with her" his unwelcome advance was met with a prompt kick in the chest and then 4 shots from a double-barreled shot Gun Charla's (the girlfriends') father had given to her an hour before The date started, just in case.

16

After failing to pay his rent for eight years, Javier Halos, 27 years old, was killed by his landlord. The landlord Kirk Weston Clubbed the victim to death with a toilet seat after he realized just how long it had been since Mr. Halos paid his rent.

15

Mary-Lee Cooper, 11 years old, was killed by her 1-year-old sister who climbed on top of her while she was sleeping, suffocating her.

14

Fourteen state troopers killed Megan Fri, 44 years old; after she wandered onto a live firing, fake town simulation. Seeing the troopers all walking slow down the street Megan Fri has jumped out in front of them and yelled. "Boo!" The troopers, thinking she was a pop up target Fired 67 shots between them, over 40 of them hitting their target. "She Just looked like a very real looking target," one of the troopers stated in his report.

13

A “Hit Man” hired by Fiona Given, killed 17 years old ex-boyfriend after she broke off their relationship. The "Hit Man" was Promised to be paid $500 000 for the task. The "Hit Man" killed the Boyfriend after he found out that a 16-year-old high school student, Whose father was in jail for rape, and mother worked as an ironing lady Didn’t have access to $500 000.

12

Louis Zaragoza, 68 years old, was killed as he prepared to drive to Work. Lee Zaragoza, had been plotting to kill him for over a year, and Had cut the brakes on his car 4 times previously. On this attempt Lee Was just about to cut the brakes again when Louis snuck up behind her, He grabbed her and spun her around, as he did she lost her footing and Stubble into him, stabbing him in the lower ventricle of the heart, Killing him instantly.

11

Mummod Foli, 22 years old, was killed by an unknown member of the "Russian" Mafia, after he accidentally took away the gangsters drink too Soon at the nightclub he worked in. The gangster was so upset he forced the waiter to drink over 27 liters of 'coca cola' (the drink he had taken away) until Mummod drowned.

10

Michael killed his sister, Julia Smeeth, 20 years old, because She talked on the phone too long, Michael clubbed his sister to death With a cordless phone, then stabbed her several times with the broken Aerial.

9

Helena Simms, Wife to the famous American Nuclear Scientist Harold Simms Was killed by her husband after she had an affair with the neighbor. Over a period of 3 months Harold substituted Helena's eye shadow with a Uranium composite that was highly radioactive, until she died of Radiation poisoning. Although she suffered many symptoms, including Total hair loss, skin welts, blindness, extreme nausea and even had an Ear lobe drop off the victim never attended a doctor’s surgery or Hospital for a check up.

8

Military Sergeant John Joe Winter killed his "two timing wife" by loading her car with Trintynitrate explosive (similar to C4) the Ford Taurus she Was driving was filled with 750 000 kgs of explosive, forming a force Twice as powerful as the Oklahoma Bombing. Several persons, some up to 14 kilometers away, witnessed the explosion. No trace of the car or the victim was ever found. Only a 55-meter deep crater, and 500m of Missing road.

7

Patty Winter, 35 years old, was killed by her neighbor in the early Hours of a Sunday morning. Her neighbor, Falt Home, for years had a mounted F6 phantom jet engine in his rear yard. He would fire the jet Engine, aimed at an empty block at the back of his property. Patty Winter Would constantly complain to the local sheriff's officers about the Noise and the potential risk of fire. Mr. Hame was served with a notice to remove the engine immediately. Not liking this he invited Miss Winter Over "for a cup of coffee and a chat" about the whole situation. What Winter didn't know was that he had changed the position of the engine And, as she walked into the yard he activated it, hitting her with a Blast of 5000 degrees, killing her instantly, and forever burning her outline into the driveway.

6

Michael Lewis, angry with his gay boyfriend used the movie, "Die Hard, With A Vengeance." as inspiration.....???? He drugged his boyfriend, Tony Berry, into an almost catatonic state, then dressed him only in a Double-sided white board that read "Death to all Niggers!" on one side, And "God love the KKK." on the other. Lewis then drove the victim to Downtown Harlem and dropped him off. Two minutes later Berry was Deceased.

5

Jay Newton was killed after a co-worker at Sea World Florida dropped a 20-ton killer whale on him. The whale had been hoisted out of his tank By a Master Tonne Crane, when the victim swam underneath to inspect the Harness his colleague, Brian Hartley, released the whale. Crushing the Victim instantly, (and emptying 1/4 of the water from the pool)

4

Carl Densinter, 34 years old, was killed by a fellow worker trying to prove a Point. The worker, San Amote Pet, disconnected the internal landing gear settings on a Boeing 747 test plane. The plane's gear automatically Retracted after take off. But come landing time wouldn't re-engage, the Helpless Densinter couldn't do a thing as the plane ran out of fuel, in An attempt at an emergency landing the 747 exploded. Densinter was killed instantly.

3

Mary Dridely, Joseph Coles and Haven Gillies were killed as they walked Past a New York apartment building, David Smee, 7 old, and his 6 year Old sister were left alone in their 27th floor hotel room by their Parents as they went to the hotels gaming room. Bored, the kids though It’d be fun to try to squish the "ant-looking things on the footpath below." (People). They started by throwing fruit, then quickly graduated to chairs, televisions, even the drawers from the bedroom dresser.

2

Twin brother Brian killed Conrad Middleton, 26 years old after a disagreement over who should take the family home after their Parents past away. Conrad had a nasal problem, and has no sense of Smell. After the argument Brian stormed out of the house, then snuck Back later, and turned on the 3 gas taps in the house, filling it with Gas. Then left out a box of cigars, a lighter and a note saying, "Sorry For the spree, have a puff on me, Brian." Conrad promptly light a cigar, Destroying the house, and him in the process.

1

Gail Queens was killed by her boyfriend who was a zookeeper, 23 years old Kellaway after she refused sex. He 'invited her' to the zoo to see the Lion feeding, and at feeding time lead her into a room that had a large Slide away panel, He explained to her that it was a large glass viewing Window to watch the lions devour their prey. He then 'ducked out for a Quick smoke' and locked her in the room. Suddenly the slide away panel Opened revealing many persons starring at her, she was just about to Yell and tell them that they were on the wrong side of the glass when She realized that it was she on the wrong side. Another panel opened and 3 hungry lions were let into the pen. Gail survived for 2 days in Hospital before dying of massive internal injuries.

Other Deaths and Stories That Will Blow Your Mind

A British soldier has been sentenced to five years in jail for getting drunk, dressing up like the killer from the movie 'Scream,' and knifing a woman. Robert Hull stalked Pauline Young on Christmas Day as she returned from midnight mass in Exmouth, Devon. As she went to unlock the door of a house, she was struck from behind and discovered her attacker donning a full-on cape, cloak and mask. She was struck at least six times over the course of two minutes, and was left with bleeding from her neck. Hull was arrested later that evening, still in costume, but said that he only wanted to kill himself. Furthermore, Hull disclaimed any memory of the attack, and couldn't recall why he put on the outfit. In addition to her injuries, Young has been reduced to a terrified, paranoid mess, so now there are two nutcases.

A woman in her late 50's goes to the hospital. She had have previous visits to the doctor's, complaining about pain in her genitals, and many bladder infections. The doctor finally did a huge check up, and what they found was shocking. The woman's husband had been inserting his penis into her urine tube, instead of her vagina for 20 years.

A woman went to the doctors, complaining about intestinal cramps and pain throughout her stomach. She had to fill out paper work for insurance, and when the doctor asked her what her job was, she responded, "A street worker." When asked what her job included, she told them, "Well I have sex with men for money. Five dollors to fuck my pussy, and ten dollors to fuck 'it'." "It? What is 'it'." She then told them, that men had been having sex with her colostomy hole. Every man who had been skrewing her hole, had been poking her insides.

Woman goes to the doctor, and complains about a disgusting smell comming from her vagina, and bad cramps. They strap her up, and look inside. The doctor could feel something inside of her, and thought it was a tumor. The doctor took her to X ray room, and found that she had shoved a potato up her pussy and it had been growing inside of her for a whole week.

A man was found on his couch, electricuted. His neighbors had called the police, telling them to check out his house because there was a stench comming out, smelling like a dead body. When the police arrived, he was dead. They did an autopsy, and found that he had thought it would be fun to stick a sander between his couch cushions, and jack off in it. When he cummed, his load got the sander wet and it sparked. He was then electricuted.

A woman was found by her boyfriend, dead in her bathroom. He had left for the day, and she bought live lobsters to cook up for a romantic evening. The woman thought it would be fun to use one of the lobsters as her toy for the evening, before she cooked it. The lobster layed eggs in her pussy, they began to hatch inside of her, and killed her.

"Men and women worship Satan as their god in private houses or in churchyards or forests. They practise every sexual perversion that exists with animals, children and both sexes. They drink blood and urine and eat faeces and insects. They are involved in pornographic films and drug dealing as a means of raising money. They are highly organised, successful in their secrecy, and have the belief that through this pain and abuse they are getting closer to their god." (London Daily Telegraph)-Valerie Sinason

Harriet Inselbuch signed up for a calendar reminder service on the Internet and duly entered important dates like birthdays and anniversaries. The service notifies her by e-mail a few days before an important event. One anniversary she listed was of a family death, a reminder to her to light a candle. A few days before that particular date, she did receive a message and it provided somewhat of a shock. It read, "Reminder: Grandpa's death is just around the corner" followed by three or four gift suggestions for the occasion.

The United States Army spent twelve million dollars to design bullets that are based on tungsten composites rather than lead, because they are healthier. Production will begin soon supplementing the 200 million lead 5.56mm bullets that are fired annually by the M16 rifle which is standard issue to all branches of service. Unfortunately the new improved bullets are sixteen times more expensive than lead ones, but why trifle about price when soldiers can feel better about themselves while killing the enemy in an environmentally safe manner.

A disco ball fell on Boy George during rehearsal at Bournemouth International Center in Dorset, UK, today. The ball, weighing 62 pounds, bruised the extremely homosexual singer and nearly killed him. While the performer will recover, the disco ball was a complete loss. Said Boy after the incident, "It would have been both ironic and glamorous to be finished off by a four-foot glitter ball."

Evil clown Christopher Bayer of Massapequa, New York was arrested today for third degree sodomy (!) involving a sixteen year old boy. The boy's father videotaped the incident, after being suspicious of the clown's extra special friendship with his son. The 27 year old clown, employed at Clyde Beatty-Cole Bros. Circus under the name Smiley The Clown, has been released from clown duties. It is unclear what the future of our beloved Smiley will be, whose interests range from balloon animals to pederasty.

Ian Fenner, age 17, was sentenced in December to 3 years 5 months prison for the drive-by shooting of the pet llama of his prosecutor, Roy Fore, of Chelan County Washington. A .22 was used, which is a pansy-assed calibre to be used when dealing with a llama. Come on, people. The animal's spine was injured and it had to be put down.

A hemisphere of a human brain has been discovered in a Bethlehem, Pennsylvania sewage plant. As no brains have been reported missing in the area, the discovery remains a mystery. It is most probable that the brain was flushed down some toilet, and it does not appear the brain was used at any point for medical research. The hemisphere is mostly intact and largely well preserved; the county coroner is investigating.

In September twenty-one pig heads were found impaled along the road to Liverpool, UK. Nobody has claimed responsibility for the placing of the heads, and police are baffled. Pigheads of this type are often sold for use in sausage packing, and are not generally traceable.

A man desperate not to go to jail, broke his handcuffs and used them as a knife to cut a hole in his stomach. Then, he sprayed his own blood and tried to throw his internal organs at police and rescue workers.

On January 31 in Madang, Papua New Guinea, Moropia Silkapi ate fellow Papuan Yakamup Makatu's eyes, testicles, and heart, after an argument of unspecified nature. The incident occurred at Ono Works, east of the village, in front of many witnesses. But before police could arrive, the cannibal was fastened to a tree and beaten to death by angry relatives of the man's final meal.

This is complicated. In Philadelphia, Frederick Clark (age 27) killed his grandmother, Mary Benbow (age 63) over an argument regarding her boyfriend Tyrone Nixon (age 56). Clark had been raised by, and was living with and supported by his grandmother for some time, and was jealous about her boyfriend Tyrone. An argument broke out into violence, and the former McDonald's employee choked and repeatedly stabbed his grandmother, and then raped her corpse. Then he waited for Nixon to return home, and stabbed and killed him.

Dr. Bruce O'Dell, a dermatologist in Show Low, AZ, has been charged with drinking the urine of a number of his teenage boy patients. According to papers filed with the court, it appears the good doctor would convince his various boy patients that vitamins in their urine would keep him healthy, and youthful. O'Dell may have engaged in other unsavory activities with them as well, and his license to practice medicine may be revoked

Six men were arrested in Key West, Florida after they were caught pissing in an officer's patrol car. All six men were bareass naked and creating quite the ruckus when Pablo Rodriguez, on duty at some nightclub (!), was informed of said ruckus, involving his duty vehicle. The motive was apparently a "Japanese website", and all men were booked for criminal mischief and disorderly conduct.

A man in Orlando is being sought for semen-based squirtgun attacks in department stores, apparently engaging in as many as 11 incidents recently. The man approaches young girls, asks them to open mouth, and squirts his manfluid at them after they (presumably) refuse. Kmarts and Walmarts in Orlando have been targeted, and it is unknown what the man's motives are, other than he's probably insane. Police have a DNA sample now, and he is sought for battery as no other charge could be found for the crime.

A Florida man, one George Stephens Finley, has been convicted of killing his gay homosexual dog. The dog, a terrier-poodle, tried to hump another family pet, so Finley struck it with a vacuum cleaner hose and threw it at a tree. It should be noted that the "gay" dog is a neuter, so it can't really be gay at all. A jury convicted the confused 58 year old man on the 15th of this month on animal cruelty charges.

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