One234Fiive: how are things wif mr vince?
Bitter Sweet j0y: ...
Bitter Sweet j0y: you know me
Bitter Sweet j0y: i fucked it up:-\
Bitter Sweet j0y: :-(
One234Fiive: what?!
Bitter Sweet j0y: i was pushing him away...and he knew it..and he was even like 'just cuz you push me away wont mean that i wont stop loving you'
One234Fiive: whoa
Bitter Sweet j0y: and it...i dunno..it felt unsettling to hear the word 'love' yenno..
Bitter Sweet j0y: it was just scary..
Bitter Sweet j0y: and he was like..i know you're not ready to love, you can't get mad at ME for it..
Bitter Sweet j0y: and i know...he meant everything he said
Bitter Sweet j0y: which is what scared me
Bitter Sweet j0y: and so ...i pushed him so much that...i made him cry
One234Fiive: aw
Bitter Sweet j0y: not sob or anything....but like..tear up and sniffle and what not...
Bitter Sweet j0y: and he was like..i know what you're doing and it wont keep me from feeling the way i do
Bitter Sweet j0y: and i said fuck you................and clicked..............and he called back SIX times....and i didnt pick it up..
Bitter Sweet j0y: and that BROKE me..
Bitter Sweet j0y: but i cant be with him...
Bitter Sweet j0y: cuz i KNOW i'll hurt him..
One234Fiive: damm joyce wtf!!
Bitter Sweet j0y: maybe not intentionally...but when i first talked to him, just listening to him and how calm, laid back, and mellow he was....i KNEW he had almost everything he wanted in life....he was happy..
Bitter Sweet j0y: and i know that.....even though it's never ENTIRELY my fault..im a major contributer in why ALL my relationships don't turn out right
Bitter Sweet j0y: i suck and i'm just a Really complicated person to be with, with lots of baggage..
Bitter Sweet j0y: and...him, of all people....he doesnt deserve it..need it..and i know i shouldnt be the one to make the decision FOR him...but...its what i had to do...
Bitter Sweet j0y: :'(
One234Fiive: ugh....
One234Fiive: i cant argue with u and thats what upsets me
Bitter Sweet j0y: :-\ he can read people well...i know ...that He knows...that i was just trying my best to keep him from getting hurt...but i also know that he's hating me for not letting him make that decision on his Own..
Bitter Sweet j0y: but ...well...he really doesn't have a choice in the matter...:-\...:-(
One234Fiive: :-\
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