One234Fiive: how are things wif mr
vince?
Bitter Sweet j0y: ...
Bitter Sweet j0y: you know me
Bitter Sweet j0y: i fucked it up:-\
Bitter Sweet j0y: :-(
One234Fiive: what?!
Bitter Sweet j0y: i was pushing him away...and he knew it..and
he was even like 'just cuz you push me away wont mean that i wont
stop loving you'
One234Fiive: whoa
Bitter Sweet j0y: and it...i dunno..it felt unsettling to hear the
word 'love' yenno..
Bitter Sweet j0y: it was just scary..
Bitter Sweet j0y: and he was like..i know you're not ready to
love, you can't get mad at ME for it..
Bitter Sweet j0y: and i know...he meant everything he said
Bitter Sweet j0y: which is what scared me
Bitter Sweet j0y: and so ...i pushed him so much that...i made
him cry
One234Fiive: aw
Bitter Sweet j0y: not sob or anything....but like..tear up and
sniffle and what not...
Bitter Sweet j0y: and he was like..i know what you're doing and
it wont keep me from feeling the way i do
Bitter Sweet j0y: and i said fuck you................and
clicked..............and he called back SIX times....and i didnt pick it
up..
Bitter Sweet j0y: and that BROKE me..
Bitter Sweet j0y: but i cant be with him...
Bitter Sweet j0y: cuz i KNOW i'll hurt him..
One234Fiive: damm joyce wtf!!
Bitter Sweet j0y: maybe not intentionally...but when i first
talked to him, just listening to him and how calm, laid back, and
mellow he was....i KNEW he had almost everything he wanted in
life....he was happy..
Bitter Sweet j0y: and i know that.....even though it's never
ENTIRELY my fault..im a major contributer in why ALL my
relationships don't turn out right
Bitter Sweet j0y: i suck and i'm just a Really complicated
person to be with, with lots of baggage..
Bitter Sweet j0y: and...him, of all people....he doesnt deserve
it..need it..and i know i shouldnt be the one to make the decision
FOR him...but...its what i had to do...
Bitter Sweet j0y: :'(
One234Fiive: ugh....
One234Fiive: i cant argue with u and thats what upsets me
Bitter Sweet j0y: :-\ he can read people well...i know ...that
He knows...that i was just trying my best to keep him from getting
hurt...but i also know that he's hating me for not letting him make
that decision on his Own..
Bitter Sweet j0y: but ...well...he really doesn't have a choice in
the matter...:-\...:-(
One234Fiive: :-\