I Lose
Walk thru life with my eyes downcast, speak out loud, sir? Not unless asked.
Ask me a question, fear so strong, think real hard before I answer wrong
do and say things I never thought I would, try to do right, just try to do good.
It didn't all start from one dark night..no, had a long struggle doing things right.
Spent my whole life, oppressed and down..wondering daily why I hang around
Thrill of the moment, thrill of the fear. Sick to keep going. Sick to stay here.
too many choices, best to not choose...one wrong step and I know I will lose.
So tired from the same old thing each day, watching my step and the things that I say
obeying the orders, doing my best, paying attention, ignoring the rest.
Gotta be something else we can play, besides 'making me sorry' and'making me pay.'
too many choices, best to not choose...one wrong step and I know I will lose.
Once I was useful, once I was new. Once I felt loved...once I loved you.
Now Im just handy..now Im just here, filled with self loathing, crippled by fear.
Try to keep going, try not to fall, forget what it was that I wanted at all
too many choices, best not to choose...one wrong step and I know I will lose.
Fun times tease, will all be fine...loosing my patience, losing my mind.
lost in thought, concentrating on life, never forgetting I am your wife...
escape is only a keyboard away, staring at the screen both night and day
lost in dreams, the screen goes black...turn around and your at my back.
too many choices, best not to choose...one wrong step and I know I will lose.
Bent over backwards, leaning both ways, lost in emotional confusing maze
no way out, no way in..looking for holiness while committing more sins
hide inside, and lock the door, throw away the key, dont ask for more
too many choices, best not to choose...one wrong step and I know I will lose.