I have no picture of the woods. It would not matter if I did, it would never do justice to the beauty or the life they held. When I made my escape to the woods, it was not discovering a whole new world..it was finding 'my world'. A world that contained not just an environment, but friends, family, acceptance. Something that was unreachable to me anywhere except the woods. A place that was mysterious, yet open and giving...I had only to look, to see. It held nothing back.
I can dismiss it all by saying it was all childhood fantasy. I have done so many times to make myself feel like I fit in with others. "Normality" is something we all try to claim during our lives. We want to 'fit in' and be like others. But normality, like relativity, depends on conception--how you conceive yourself, while holding yourself up to others. No one is normal--we are all different, each and every one of us. Realizing that, later in life, I finally let go of the illusion that I was supposed to forget who I was...that I could not BE who I was...and now I have only to figure out how to merge who I was, with who I have pretended to be..somewhere in the mix is "me".
Regardless..on with the tale of the woods...
There were times when I was forgotten as a child. I do not say that in a whining way. I totally appreciated being forgotten! To be forgotten meant freedom. It meant peace. It meant I could be in the woods. The woods had a creek running thru that in places was pooled and deep enough to swim...in places was only a couple inches deep. Large rocks in the creek bed, or along the bank became places that I could spend hours sitting and watching the water move. Watching the life in the water and feel it flow. Observe wildlife coming to the water..take what they need and move along. See tadpoles develop from eggs, grow to become frogs and take their place along the bank to watch the water pass with me.
The trees. Large, old and wise trees. They became like a massive community of Elders. Watching me as I passed. Not interfering, yet contributing to every thought. Everything was tied to the trees, you see? They took life from the dirt and the water..gave life to the air..supported life with their branches and fallen leaves. Protected things around them with strength, and their solidity...their endurance. The comfort that came to me from trees was indescribable. People learn to accept the changes in life, by losing elderly loved ones-friends moving away-loss of all types. I learned that nothing ever ends. New relatives are born-new friends made-the cycle continues...I learned many things from the trees.
People like to claim that being in 'civilization', means to be in the city. It is so false to accept that statement. The woods holds a culture that respects each entity. Uses only what is needed to survive, and damages nothing. Have you ever heard of a squirrel pulling off a 'drive by'? Ever known of reports of a groundhog sexually molesting a rabbit? There is so much more respect between wildlife, than there is between humans--true civility can be found in the woods. There is tragedy--of course there is! A fox will hunt, attack and kill a rabbit. But only if it needs to..only if it is hungry. I have many times watched them walk right past squirrels and rabbits to drink. Glancing at them as they pass. Knowing they have the speed, strength and power to take their life. Not doing so, because it is not necessary. Having power, yet controlling it. That is civility. That is honorable. That is what we would call humane..but it is not humanity.
Once accepted, there was nothing in the woods that rejected me. Some creatures of course are more outgoing than others..some were too busy surviving to notice to an addition to their life. Some, it appeared, were greatly amused by my being there and would take the time to explore interacting with me. Squirrels, for example, seemed to take great pleasure in dropping things on me and watching my reaction. At first, I would tell my family of what would happen in the woods. My brother informed me that the animals were trying to scare me away. My mother, on the other hand, asked me if I was a sister to the squirrel dropping things to me..what would I do? I told her I would help them gather things. She nodded and went back to her work. I caught a lot of teasing from my brother after that, about thinking I was a squirrel. I never mentioned again, anything that happened in the woods. I let it remain a private place for me. I thought about what my mother had said, and when the squirrels would drop things--I would pile them up. It became a game to me--to try and catch the sticks, pieces of bark, hulls, nuts and debris they would drop. I would make a pile of the items and leave them behind. The piles always disappeared in a couple of days. I sometimes think back about that and wonder if I was useful to them. I hope so.
What I have written above is only one small happening..only a handful of days in the many years that I spent in the woods. More things happened in the woods. Much more. Magical and wonderful things. Things I still will not share with anyone to protect myself, and to protect the secrets that I learned. A few, it is okay to depart with. Like the fact that nothing ends..nothing dies..it only changes form. This is not anti-Christian, not Atheistic. If you think along the lines of God's creativeness..then it makes sense that things He created can withstand mere time. It is only scientific to realize that nothing leaves..it only changes. You can burn, smash, evaporate some thing..but the facts show that what you destroyed is not GONE..but only taken on a different usability. Everything has a use..everything fits into the puzzle of the world. Humans are the only creation that wanders thru the world looking for their "purpose"..their "use"..and ultimately, their Creator.
Many people ask questions but never find the answers. Some of the them forget the question, and when the answer comes to them it is useless. Some people don't even bother to ask, only accept what they already know. It is the same with many things..wealth, opportunity, happiness and love. It is only your conception of reality, that makes you. You are limited only by your vision of yourself. Need further explanation? How does a blind child know he is blind--unless he is told? If the blind child is also deaf, does that mean that he never discovers that he is blind? Most people are "blind" but are cursed with the ability to hear others tell them that they can't see...
Stop listening!