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I love him but...
Monday, 18 December 2006

Mood:  not sure
Topic: HIM
like a boy So I'm sitting here wondering... why does he act the way he does? so fuckin rude but I love i dunno dont ask. Never seems to want to hang out with just me. always goin to chill with his "friends" who only get him into trouble. we have a family and he treats my son like his own "when he's here". I cant figure out how 3 years can go into shit because of what? ur used to me? I like to stay home and chill with only you? why, i dunno. anyways this weekend i kicked him out friday night and like usual when he gets paid, he was willing to go, he got paid on Thursday so it was like freedom for him...I only trapped myself for the night. so instead i called my girl to come by, we had fun and i realized....... i can chill with my girl and not worry about what he's doing tonight. We drank and laughed at everything and didnt worry bout anything. I'm sayin that life is soooo good and it took me 3 years to realize it. I'm always worried about what hes doing then this weekend i worried about me for once, haha well i didnt worry we had a good time... but you know what i mean. so much effort put into this relationship and scared to let go of him but seems to be a need to do it. theres always something that keeps me letting him back in though and i can't figure it out????? maybe i'm weak , but i know im strong, so its gotta be different then that so much more. anyways i love him and that will never change but i have to leave him or i'll get hurt....but then again ill be lonely... i guess i can try? i dunno why he does this, but it seems to be that this is always MY fault. yeah mine, dunno what i do. im always home,just waiting and waiting for him. i love to go out with him and do things but do we ever ...????? NO! anyways im out, peace

Posted by hiphop/skittlezz at 2:19 PM EST
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