Ode To John
John is a cute little fellow. One day we were about to go jogging. Him, Tj and I. Thomas and I got to the meating place a little early since we're rather speedy. We said, "hmm." Then we looked around for some sign of Sherwin The Great. Off in the distance we saw a yellow blur. John, it must be John. It must be. We decided to hide from him for a bit and see what he'd do. (We have this theory that John is in reality, an expert jogger. And he just doesn't show all in front of us in case we might feel bad.) So we wanting to see if the truth would prevail. Hiding behind a bush, we said, "hehehe." And sort of stalked him. Tj exclaimed, "dis is hella fucked up dog." I nodded my ears. But we kept follwing him. He came our way and we got kind of scared. So we ran. Like little faggots from a biker bar. We didn't know what else to do. I expecting him to be right on us and we would then just stop. But he fell behind as our boyish flees continued. When we had our marbles in place. Turned we did. "John," I said, "uh oh." He was gone. We went all about looking for him and using our eyes. Can't find him! Walked up the hill and John wasn't anywhere to be found. We kept on searching and eventually gave up after a long while. Strapped up the New Balances. And jogged back to Tj's. "O.M.G.," I said, "it's John!" He was there on the curb sulking. Poor guy. I then said the abbreviation for oh my god twice more. And from then on there was awkwardness followed by confusion and sympathy. P.S. I think Angela likes John.
The Kit Beaman Story
I heard Kit was going out with a black girl? Does anyone know anything about this? Because he's just not letting me know shit. I ask him and he's like "sup? Dis Kit." And then he never gets to the point, he just changes the subject as if he's insecure about it. I mean, it's not that big of a deal. He could just spit it out... I am like his good friend. You know? Sometimes I'll see Isaiah walk up to him and I look at his lips. I can always make out the words "whack whirl" Then after a while I realize what they're talking about. God damnit! By then the conversation between them is over, and I'm stuck talking with Christine Green. I bet Isaiah feels real fucking good. Knows everything about Kit. Fuck him. Just because I'm a little goofy once in while, doesn't give kit the right to keep something that from me. I mean, Kit going out with a black girl is like Eric watching TV. It's sort of a given. I think I'm gonna stop talking with Kit anyway. One time he wouldn't stop saying that my mom was fat, so I tried to make him stop. He just overpowered me like always. One time, he was getting a cup at the Hertzberg's, and I was like "man, can you get me a cup?" He grabbed one for himself and shut the cupboard. I was so mad. I felt like taking Eric's remote away, just to ease my frustration. I didn't. But, later when we were listening to "How Bizzarre" on his tape deck, I left the room, and he was like, "Shut the door man!" So I didn't. He was pissed. What a jerk.
One day as I was chilling. My friend Jacob comes up to me. He's say's "hey brother, want to come hang out with me at my paid for home. (Not rented)" I said "ok" I was kind of scared, because Jake is sort of weird. And I think you all know what mean. Well, he's cool but if you don't know him, he can be a little kooky. Like when he's always hanging out with Kurt, that's homo. So I went to his house. I walk in, and his mom says "hey, watch out...the dweebs are here." I figure she means people smoking marijuana. She was referring to children. What a psycho. So we chilled. Played Mario. Listened to faggotistic emo music. I said "man, I don't wanna sleep here, you're a weirdo" and then called for a ride. I left. Later I find out that his parents think that we were under the influence of marijuana, which we were not. That's is not cool. What the fuck Jake? Now I suppose I am just the stoner kid to them. Fuck Them.
I was skating. No, I was walking, because it was raining. I had just been skateboarding with my friends. My pals. John and David. We had some good tricks done. We then finished, and Isaiah stole David. John and I proceeded to McDonald's like usual. I bought a Cajun McChicken. I had 71 cents left. I thought it would be funny to try and buy something with my excess money(it wasn't) I orderd a cookie. They cost 59 cents plus tax. You can get two for 1.29. But you can get three for a dollar. What the fuck?! I said "bitch, what the heck?" and the worker-spanish said "you can get cream cheese." I said "ew" and made an awkward face. So I bought one cookie. Oatmeal Raisin. It was 67 cents. Why? You know that a Regular Fry is one dollar. A smalll is 97 cents. Fuck that dang place. I was full. I walked up the hill, with my John. We seperated. Later, I feel my pocket vibrating. It's my cell phone. I pick up, not know who it is because I broke my phone. It displays 1/4 of the original data from when I bought it. I say "hello" and I hear a voice like one of those wives with crock pots stuck up their asses answer. She says "Hello, this is David Bowman's mother. Do you know where he is?" I say "He is not with me. Don't think that. He may be with Isaiah" She then said "Do you have his number?" I tell her it. We part. Like I fucking know where he is? Why does she call me? The hell?
We wanted an adventure. We wanted some fun. We needed some Bridle Trails. It was Saturday...early, and my friend Tj and I had just set out for a fun filled day of thrifting. We thought it would be an adventure to go to Bridle Trails. So we found a Bridle Trails dweller and hitched a ride. The Shop N' Save was great. Laughter brought many times. And then we realized...We were in fucking Bridle Trails. Does anyone know where it really is? It's just there... We thought, "Hey, we should grab a bus!" And went searchin' for stops. Found one! Across the street! There we went. As we aproached the stop, not thinking of much, more along the lines of how the thrift shop cashier kept mentioning to the customers about how his novelty goo tube looked like snot. He had a long, curly mullet, which he died bright blonde. Wham! The bus flew by. No Brakage. We looked and saw, it woulda been the one. 245 Could have taken us nearly to our doors. So we found another stop, one with a schedule, and waited. We had a few spare times. So we figured it would be entertaining to hang out in the alley of bowl. We walked in. I said, "I need some bowling shoes, Tj." I went to the trashy looking blonde woman standing by the counter and said, "I need some bowling shoes." "Have you paid for ya lane?" she said. I said, "yeah." She asked me which one, and I said "thirteen" She nodded, asked me my side, peered over at the lane...and handed me my size 11's. I walked over to Tj, and said "Let us be gone, now."
