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Ask The Great Dashukta Master.
Hello R.P.P. Site visitors welcome to the wonderful Ask The Great Dashukta
Master Forum. What the Heck is The great Dashukta? Well We're not absolutely
sure. Maybe he's a great and powerful wizard of knowledge or a creature of
infinite wisdom, could be a Dali Llama look alike reject, or maybe the pope's
missing cousin or maybe he's just a crusty old man who has nothing better to do
but sit around and listen to you. Whoever or whatever he his is He has taken
time out to answer a few questions every week that will bless the world in some
way another. Feel free to e-mail the great Dashukta and ask him a question and
maybe he'll have the answer for you.
questions for the week of 12/15/04
thecheat dares make a noise with his mouth:
"If you mix pasta and anti-pasta would it destroy the universe or
make a really tasty meal?"
The Great Dashukta Master Rouses from His Mighty Slumber:
Wow, what a nap. Sorry I’m late, folks. I got lazy. But, seeing as there
is such a high demand for my services, I’ve graciously decided to reappear
in a blaze of glory to destow my wisdom on you little mortals. Ok, so
first answer: Hmm… Neither, really. The effects of mixing pasta and anti-pasta
are only slightly less dire than the juxtaposition af a humidifier and
a dehumidifier. Culinary physicists do not completely understand the reactions
of these two elementary particles of pabulum, in part because of the drastic
effects of boiling water on the system. Destruction of the universe is
unlikely in any foreseeable circumstances, but the interaction COULD provide
a handy power source for science-fiction intragalactic conveyance vessels.
DoctorPuck Raises waves his hand in the air like he just doesn’t
care:
"How long will the NHL lockout last?"
The Great Dashukta Master Stops Poking a Non-descript Gelatinous
Blob Long Enough to Listen:
The NHL lockout is a front. In reality, the entire league is removing
itself from public view for training purposes. And no, I do not mean training
for the next season. The NHL is actually a international group bent on
world domination! Even the initials “NHL” stand not for “National Hockey
League” but for “Neo-Hockey Liberation Front.” “Hockey,” you see, is an
ancient term dating back Mesopotamia referring to a band of marauding
bandits from the frozen lands of the north, who during a particularly
cold winter, swept down to the ancient cities of Sumer, slaughtered the
men, gave noogies to the cattle, hickeys to the women, helped little old
ladies cross the wrong street, and generally were really bad houseguests.
The Hockey were all but wiped out in the time of the Roman Empire, but
had a brief comeback as a small sect within the Norse culture of the Middle
Ages. Since the Renaissance, they’ve mostly been a sleeper-cell secret
society. The evil masterminds of Hockey created the game we know today
as “hockey” as a recruitment and training tool for their fearsome warriors.
The NHL “lockout” is the final phase in their plans at which time their
warriors are to be intensively trained in preparation for the next invasion.
My sources say their target will be Dublin.
Wombat wiggles His widdle wips:
"Why?"
The Great Dashukta Master Tries His Dangdest to Avoid Baby-talk
Alliterations in His Intro:
Em Cee A! Hah! Thought you could fool me, didn’t you.
thecheat delves deeper:
"Does the Great Dashukta Master really exist or is he really a figment
of our collective pschyes we developed to explain the unexplainable...and
where did I put my car keys?"
The Great Dashukta Master throws him a rope:
I think, therefore, I am hungry. Honestly though, I am the personification
of the twisted mind of a bizarre college student. What? Don’t believe
me? Ok, fine. I exist as a person, but my status as a guru is left up
to the whim of the Great Galactic Snail. I am not the attempt of any conscious
being or beings attempts to explain the unexplainable, but more of a medium
through which the unexplainable is made equivocal. And like I told Wombat
way back when, your keys are in the last place you will look, unless you
found them already in which case they will be stolen by the car key gnomes
shortly.
The Great Dashukta's E-mail:
Great Dashukta's Official E-mail
A special thanks to ClassicBattletech.com
for All the support and questions. Thanks
to all those who are making the great dashukta possible.
Past Q&A:
Shuka Archive Page 1
Shuka Archive Page 2
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