This poem was written by another PALS named Stephen Kotzin. It was posted in the ALS Digest. I have put this in here because it states my feelings exactly. I did replace his wife's name with my husband's name, making it personal for me. I would like to thank Mr. Kotzin for expressing my thoughts in his words, which are so truthful! THE FIX I'M IN Time slows for no one, especially for me It all seemed to go incredibly fast Long forgotten glimpses of the past Living day to day with nary of care Will I ever awaken from this nightmare? Can't seem to decide which road to take The high or the low, so much as stake Frightened that all my courage will fail Desperately fighting not to just set sail Never again to make a par or drive a car The loss of dignity is worse by far Everything getting heavy, even a fork Wonder what everyone's doing at work? Time marches on by me as if in a trance Would someone please give me one more chance For the kids I always uphold by head Bubba and I, so much left unsaid We seem to tiptoe whenever we talk Can't believe I will never again walk People talk loud, think you can't hear I represent their very worst fear Out of every emotion I can't stand pity All the more reason to strive for witty Suddenly people are treating me formal What I wouldn't give for one day normal Independence is supposed to be a right To whom do I complain about my plight? Fair weather friends are always easy But if it turns foul, they turn queasy Some people are just so naturally kind Others are more like a horse's behind Frustrated am I but I try not to mope Everyone's counting on me to cope In life I was just beginning to hit my stride Please don't make me give up my pride Takes effort sometimes not to be blue Hard to imagine what it was like for Lou The top of the world and then the fall Such a loss for all fans of baseball Fifty years later it's still in the air All that suffering it doesn't seem fair I sit in my chair with the battery pack How did my life get so out of whack? I scooter around from here to there Kids stop playing games to boldly stare Wish I could alter the course of events It really doesn't make any damn sense! I thought doctors had life by the tail More often than not they seem to fail They talk down to you as if to a child Tell the truth, it would really be wild I can't blame them for the fix I'm in A long distance race I've failed to win Life's rewards seem to go to the strong It's not for me to say this is wrong Being on the sidelines is extremely hard Sometimes I guess you draw the low card The age old question is luck or fate Tired of wondering, it's much too late. Thank you Stephen Kotzin |