Sometimes I say, why?
and some nights it's, why not?
sometimes I wonder who,
and think of all I've got.
surprise gave rise to illness,
while I surpress a cough.
I clear my throat, wide-eyed,
for my demise lies on my tongue.
Each time my eyes bleed grief
upon my chest for what I've done,
the pain subsides a little more
each day I become numb.
...3am. painfully wide awake. some nights there just aren't enough pills in the world.
....Lately I can't hold down food. I'd like to say I don't know why. Maybe this will pass, or get a little easier. I just can't sleep well knowing things are so messed up.
I want a shoulder to cry on
but I don't want to cry.
I feel so alive so close to death,
but I don't want to die.
I have to say what's on my mind
and never want to lie,
I think she'd never be my girl,
and still I have to try.
I once thought my sunny days
would stay at least a while,
now storms mask mid day sun
and a chill has bit my cheek.
I've brought my hat and jacket this time,
should the weather change again,
it's much to nice to play out here
than spend this time inside, my friend.
I sometimes ask myself that very thing.
I honestly can't say.
Some people you are just drawn to
and others you are not.
Things are coming clearer in my fog,
and peace is with the world
if just for a moment.
The snow, the beautiful snow.
how it clings to the trees around the lake,
and this tiny wind,
try as it might to shake the snow free,
lays ultimately unsatified at what might have been.
If only it would snow a little longer,
but seasons being just that,
it all melts away
to give new life to old
and tired souls.
Sleep well little angel,
for you will be loved always.
The sun will rise and set
regardless of the season.
-Thank You all for being there for me.