TRUTHS OF LIFE
GREAT TRUTHS OF LIFE
FROM LITTLE CHILDREN:
1) No matter how hard you try,you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your
Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't
hit her back.
They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old
brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to
watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone
is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and
a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece
of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot
underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when
you're sad is Grandpa's lap.
FROM ADULTS:
1) Raising teenagers is likenailing Jell-O to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge . . .
mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just
yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise.
It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose
your cereal for the fiber, not the joy.
ABOUT GROWING OLD:
1) Growing old is mandatory;growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all
the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you
wonder what else you can do
while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when
you get the same sensation from
a rocking chair that you once
got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you
know all the answers, but nobody
bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer,
but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age,
but sometimes age comes alone.
THE FOUR STAGES:
1) You believe in Santa Claus.2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.