Frequently Asked Questions

Q:  I’m depressed. My family isn’t supportive of me. Help!

A: When I look at your energy field it looks like a weight pushes down on you, keeping you from experiencing the little joys of daily living. If we look at our purpose here as to unfold our potential, as creatures with free will, we select the important people in our lives to provide us the opportunity to grow. Sometimes this means being nurtured and encouraged and sometimes this means the opposite in order to learn self-sufficiency and to find inner strength. If you look at your family as teachers you choose, learn the lesson, and then you won’t have to attract other people like them again. We repeat our particular core issue over and over until we get it.

Also, I’d build fun activities into your weekly calendar. Make a list of what you love to do, including daily exercise (triggers endorphins) and a morning walk in the sunlight (regulates melatonin). Everyday look for something simple that tickles your fancy, such as a flower on the roadside, or someone wearing a nutty hat. Keep a journal which includes how you’re progressing and what you’re proud of about your uniqueness. Affirmations seem simplistic, but they help reprogram the unconscious mind to be more positive. Herbs like SAMe and St. Johns ’ Wort help some people.

Q:  My mother-in-law moved in with us a few years ago. It’s hard for me to talk with me wife about how unhappy I am and it’s affecting my health. What should I do?

A: Our family members provide us with the most intense opportunities for emotional growth: They’re the most skilled at pushing our buttons because they know us so well. It would be passive-aggressive to leave without talking to your wife and proposing solutions to negotiate with her. One of your lessons is to be assertive about explaining your frustrations in a non-blaming way. Also, I wouldn’t make taking care of my health dependent on my relationship with someone else, that’s passive aggressive too.

I realize it’s hard to have a reasonable conversation with her about her mother. I would find a relaxed time when you can talk with her. Use the simple tools of effective communication, something like “ I’m feeling frustrated and unhappy about our living situation. I’d like to hear your state-of-the-marriage assessment so we can compare our reactions. I want to understand how you feel and visa versa before we try to brainstorm solutions.” Suggest that she mirror back how you feel and you do the same for her, without any rebuttals, which will shut down the process. Just feeling understood will be a big relief. When you suggest solutions, write them all down without judgment, and then look at practical solutions. For any couple, as Masters and Johnson discovered, pair bonding is based on the shared memories of good times. Hence, date night or a fun activity—at least once a week, is imperative.

Q: I feel really ungrounded and like I’m not sure I belong on this planet.

A: Research proves that intention is the key to harness the power of the mind (see my Essential Energy Tools for the scientific explanation). Visualization serves to focus the mind. Imagine that you have a beautiful energy bubble around you and see it as clearly defined all around. Fill it with an earthy color like green. Then visualize a tree or waterfall from the base of your spine, descending deep into the earth, like your taproot. Make it wide around as your hips and clearly defined, as by putting gemstones around the pipe to show it to you.