From the people that brought you Paul vs Yoko, John vs Paul and Patti vs Olivia, we bring YOU today... HEATHER MILLS VS LINDA MACCARTNEY!!!
We have the Lovely Linda and the Lady-to-be Heather today to have a Battle of Wits! We do NOT allow hair pulling and Insults that fly at other people are given extra points! Lets get it on!
HEATHER MILLS VS LINDA MACCARTNEY!!!
Linda: I had a decent song about ME!
Heather: Will you shut up, annoucer Josie! Geez...
Linda: Whats the matter, Mills? Can't take the pressure?
Heather: Oh bring it on...
Linda: I bet you dont even LOVE Paulie.
Heather: Sure I do!
Linda: I said Paul not Wallet!
Heather: Dont go there, Lady. At least I'm still ALIVE!
Linda: I wouldn't WANT to be alive, what with Paul ruining everything.
Heather: The only thing he's ruined is my silk blouse, he's BETTER OFF without you!
Linda: Oh, you think your sooo smart. Well, Fine then. Who's the president of Pakistan?
Heather: Thats easy. Paul told me this one. Prince William.
Linda: You dumb brunette, its Moushariff. But YOU wouldn't know that cause your a know nothing.
Heather: Who cares what the president is! Here's one for you BLOND. What does Paul like better, His Walrus outfit or his blue thingy.
Linda: You mean his Srgt Pepper outfit?
Linda: Do you even know what Srgt Pepper IS?
Heather: Like, Ya! When Paul was in the army, that was his trainer, or something.
Linda: Uh, NO. It was an album by the Beatles! Duh!
Heather: What is WITH that Band! Everyone's obsessed with that! I think they suck, and their all ugly. Well except the tall one.
Heather: I'm talking about the BEATLES. DUH!
Linda: I know a little more about the Beatles than you do.
Heather: Dude, quite with that band, okay. They suck anyhow.
Linda: You think so eh? Tell Paul that.
Heather: I DID! He told me to shut up.
Heather: Oh yea?
Heather: Oh yea!?
Linda YEA! Heather: Well....At least I'm alive!
Linda: Oh come on... thats weak.
Heather: Your weak
Linda: Your weak!
Heather: You where a freak. Paul worships you, like your some sort of godess, but I can see your just a loser!
Linda: What's Pauls real name? He ought to have told you!
Heather: Duh! Its Walrus.
Linda: Uh, NO!
Heather: Then why is he always saying "I am the Walrus"?
Linda: Its a SONG you freak!
Heather: I am NOT a freak. If you dont like me, who cares? I'm richer, more famous, and prettier than you are!
Linda: You did NOT just go there.
Heather: I think I did
Linda: WHOA, She's "THINKING" now. Stand back, give her some room.
Heather: Your just mad cause Paul's FORGOTTEN you.
Linda: Then whats that shrine in the back of his house?
Linda: Anyhow, I dont see how Paul can marry YOU
Heather: Oh? Why not?
Linda: Your just a dumb, wanna be blond, that isn't as cool as the rest of the Beatle wives or girlfriends.
Heather: GOD STOP WITH THE BEATLES ALREADY!!!
Linda: Paul was PART of the Beatles!!!!!!
Heather: *a new thought dawns.*
Heather: I GET IT! PAUL WAS A WALRUS AND HE MET THE BEATLES!!!
Linda: *shakes head*
Heather: I mean... Paul helped the Beatles with I am the Walrus?
Heather: Paul hates you!!! I hate you!!! your just making fun of me!!!!
Heather: Anyway, dont blame me for marrying Paul.
Linda: *thinks about this*
Linda: You know...we're just arguing about Paul, now that I think about it.
Heather: You know, your right.
*Both heads turn to Paul, sitting in the stands, munching on Popcorn.*
Paul: What? What?
*Linda and Heather Smile and run up to Paul and throw him into the trash can in the ally.*
Heather: Well, I still have to marry him you know.
Linda: I know I know. Why..dont you JOIN HIM!
*Using angel strength, she throws Heather in the trash too.*
Linda: My work here is done.
*Wings burst out and she flys away.*
Paul: I never realized how much I missed Linda. I can't marry you Heather.
*Paul walkes off.*
Heather: screw you!
Heather has been defeted! Linda has won the match. Tune in next time for Eric Clapton vs George!