SPORTS, archived and deflated.
Swedish sports
teams know how to let people down
By Cozmic
Ever rooted for one of those teams that continually seem to just fail at
the last minute? That, with 7.5 seconds left of a semi-final just decide
that ”hey, let's screw this up and send the Czechs to the finals instead
because, what the hell, right?” Then you're either Swedish or rooting
for those guys who like to mimic Sweden. That 7.5 second thing having JUST
happened as I write this, yes, Sweden is the king of all letdowns when it
comes to sports. Even hockey, which they're supposed to be good at! Truly
there are very few teams on this planet as good at creating total disappointment
as Swedish teams. Sure fire wins against teams are all just flat out gone
if it's a game that actually matters. I mean, who loses to Belarus at hockey?
Honestly!? Apparently that shining beacon of Olympic Gold light, the Swedish
hockey team Tre Kronor. In their defense, they occasionally do win something,
but more often than not, they're that terrific looking team that just goes
off and loses horribly all of a sudden, for no particular reason.
Of course, not everyone bothers with being disappointed with Sweden's hockey
team, which is why it's a great thing everyone argues over that one soccer
star who sucks horribly whenever there's a world or euro cup going on. Seriously,
make one goal, so we have something better to be excited about than the
fact you actually tried to do some defense and worked back to your own goal!
It's not that the stars are terrible players, or, well, it's not JUST the
fact that the stars are terrible players, it's the fact that choking on
pressure is so ridiculously easy, especially when by most standards you
should actually freaking win! Belarus!? Seriously man, Belarus!?
Next time maybe the soccer team can get to the quarter finals only to get
completely bowled over by Greenland or something!
Granted other teams also prove that they have the potential for suckitude
and disappointment, but nobody does it quite as good as Sweden. Lost a hockey
game to Germany? Bad, but not terrible. Lost to Norway? Then you were never
anything but a failure from the get-go. Which might sum up Swedish Soccer
perfectly, come to think of it, but they do occasionally make some good
stuff as well. Not anything important, however, as then they would lose
the letdown crown, and the moral of the story is: you will always have a
sports team that totally sucks, or blows the easiest thing, or cracks under
pressure. So if a team is going to completely suck, they may as well suck
the most completely and claim to be the masters of letdowns!
previous sports: Latest bullfighting injury spurs debate.