Past Sports from the
Past sports article for the week of
First Competitive Rattlesnake Round
Up Considered A Success
By, Grey Sports
Through protests of animal cruelty, unnecessary danger due to amateurs
and know it alls participating in an event that regularly kills the most
experienced hands and Tori Spelling’s intermittent involvement on both
sides of the argument, the newly minted sporting version or Rattlesnake
Round up has gone ahead and been applauded by sporting aficionados.
Originally little more than an event hosted by small towns on an independent
basis a local strongman decided to open it up to the world to make some
money. With a cunning marketing campaign about proving manhood, dicing
death and by offering cut price rates on everything from hookers to moonshine
to any TV crew willing to film the event gained considerable notoriety.
Naturally assorted animal rights groups protested, however when several
tried to form a protective circle around a group of rattlesnakes all were
bitten and required treatment.
Even then two activists attempted to hug the serpents, with predictable
Since then protests have been limited to sullen sulking at the edge of
And events have been exciting. Still in early days rules have yet to be
fully formalised. At the moment there are both team and individual events,
both centred on the simple rounding up and containing of rattlesnakes,
which are then milked for their venom or studied, as would normally occur
after a round up. Apparently even though this is a sporting event the
organisers are not about to simply waste the effort.
As an inaugural event there was little to report, which may prove to be
the bane of the sport. Seasoned veterans proved to be the most adept,
naturally, with a few young talents in the individual contests.
Naturally all did not go smoothly. Several countries, mostly China, Australia
and South Africa, sent competitors. The Australians were particularly
cocky, their country holds the most poisonous species period, and thought
rattlesnakes would be little different than what they had faced.
The highest fatalities were, unfortunately, among the foreign competitors.
Part of this is due to the lack of wild rattlesnakes anywhere else in
the world, part of it is over confidence, part of it is also no one inside
the US and outside of the rattlesnake’s habitat being crazy enough to
do something like this, a true rarity.
Critics claim that this is the first step in voyeur TV, with ratings spiking
just after injuries, and downloads on video sites of the injuries being
Indeed this may become a death sport, however without a little more flash
over substance it is unlikely to be able to compete against Rollerball
or ice hockey.
As a young sport who’s main appeal is a very real danger element it is
probably best that it stays away from things such as cheerleaders, blazing
advertising and other flashy gimmicks and trade on it’s honest appeal
for the moment.
At some point however they are going to have to employ these things, perhaps
taking a leaf from nude Rollerball or flasher ice hockey to sexy things
up a little.
And then we’ll really have people watching to see what is bitten.