Past Sports from the
Past sports article for the week of 10/12/06
Super Villain Contest On Hold
Due to Excessive Injuries
(continued from part III)
By, Grey Sports
The fourth event in the Super Villain Olympics, originally intended to
be a discus style event, has been put temporarily on hold owing to extensive
injuries among the contenders and the spectators.
As is natural among villains of any stripe as soon as a discus event was
announced everyone began bringing their own bag of custom designed discus
to the event.
As rampant cheating is perfectly allowable in these games the use of rocket
propelled discus, a discus strapped to flying weasels or a perpetual motion
discus were possibilities that were prepared for.
Even high explosive discus were expected, anything less would be completely
unexpected. Consequently the stands were shielded and waivers signed.
The Joker’s Smilex discus caused some problems, killing dozens as it passed
by. Thankfully the Joker isn’t too good at sports.
Injuries resulted when Toyman stood up to make his attempt.
The laughter echoed around the stadium as Toyman, small and slight, never
the most notable of supervillains, barely even considered super at all,
approached his task with barely believable seriousness.
It turns out that the little guy’s discus was in fact a giant Transformer.
Note that I said giant Transformer. It started out as an ordinary discus
then changed its size as well as shape to become a large robot.
However it was a large robot that could not fly and the transformation
took place in midair.
Disctron, as it was named by creator Toyman, crashed into the stands and
took out an entire wall of the stadium, the spectators, and injured no
small amount of fellow competitors, enough that the event has been rescheduled
for next week.
Even that might not be enough time, some injuries may be long term. Doctor
Octopus is nursing three broken arms, one of them might be flesh and blood,
Solomon Grundy has the finger from a large battle fist lodged in his spine
and Lex Luthor, however much he may try to claim otherwise, was so shaken
by the event that he has almost grown hair.
It is almost a disappointing turn of events as many other entries could
have been interesting. Mister Freeze’s addition to the event had so much
promise, an ice discus, that had brilliant flight characteristics until
fervent Magneto supporter Pyro melted it at the three-meter mark.
Magneto’s entry by comparison is still rolling around the Earth.
Lex Luthor’s simple bribery of officials was refreshing and would have
bagged him the event had Doctor Doom not bribed and threatened officials
to award him the event.
Whether these two top dogs of the competition will have to go through
all that again or devise some new method of snatching victory from everyone
else shooting at them remains to be seen.