Sports from the past week.

Past sports article for the week of 5/7/06

T-Ball is Your Friend!

By, Puns McKenna

Well that's what the coach of my son's T-ball team thought.

So, we had practice on Thursday and here's the coach a guy that works for the local Y, so ya figure he's in shape, right? Well... Have you ever seen an adult trying to play gopher for a bunch of little kids with baseballs? I hadn't until then, and now I REALLY know why you DON'T offer to shag balls for six-year-old fireballs.

Interesting factoid: The average child has roughly twenty times the stamina of the average adult. A very fit adult will only cut that number by a quarter at best. Also of note: Five and six years olds find it to be the height of comedy to throw the baseball across the soccer field and watch the coach running after it.

Ok, we're at practice and the coach has all the kids on the field. He's busy trying to explain to these eager young lads how to run the bases. He says, "Ok, I want you to throw the ball as far as you can. I'll go after it while you run as many bases as you can before I can tag you out." Not a bad idea, right? That's what he thought. So the first kid throws the ball...and it doesn't go all that far, he only gets halfway to second base before he's tagged out.

Second kid gets up there and throws it about twice as far, about ten feet maybe. Pretty good arm for a six-year-old. And the coach goes and gets the ball tagging the kid out between second and third. Well the next kid does about the same and it's now the fourth one's turn. Now I've warmed up with this kid, and I know he's got a damned good arm. So I lean over and make a comment to one of the other Mom's there about how the coach is going to be running halfway across the next field over. And sure enough the kid throws and the coach goes after it.

Well this little fireball starts running the bases, and before the coach can even pick up the ball and formulate the concept of I need to run back, the kid's standing on home plate waiting with a big cheesy grin. So the coach comes jogging back, a huffin and a puffin. The kids are just laughing like mad, and I, smartass that I am, can't resist the urge to shout: "Aww come on coach! You aren't gonna let em get the better of you...are you? I thought you were in better shape than that."

Now by my own admission, I am a bit of an "odd bird" and my sense of humor is rarely appreciated. But the coach just shakes his head, huffin and puffin fit to beat the band, and chuckles. So all is well, but he did learn just why you don't shag balls for six-year-old fireballs.