Sports from the past week.
Past sports article for the week of 4/26/06
Britain Attempts to Export Cricket Yet Again
By, Grey Sports
In the history of cultural exchanges the most successful area, other
than temporary tattoos, has always been sports. Something about athletic
endeavours encourage humanity to share what they know and compete, even
if they do not fully understand the rules of the game, all the better
for the opposition that does not mind a few advantages.
While most national favourites have failed to take off internationally,
the likes of basketball, tennis, hot dog eating and beating up on Jay
Lenno have proven so successful that they have become Olympic grade events.
That being said the renewed attempt by the English to teach other cultures
their national sport of cricket is not being met with enthusiasm.
Many smaller nations, particularly Caribbean nations, Australia and India,
are already avid supporters of cricket. The inclusion of these and other
interests is important factor being integrated into this attempt, whereas
the previous attempt was very much an English endeavour.
During the late 80’s, around about the same time that soccer was beginning
to be accepted around the world England attempted to double their success
and achieve something similar to cricket.
Unfortunately due to a number of factors, the attempt to market the sport
as “baseball only more civilised”, the potential use of a naked Margaret
Thatcher or Spanish equivalent and cavorting leeches created a campaign
based on negative reinforcement, dooming the effort.
This time more positive measures are being used to promote cricket. Chief
among them is posting the rules with a free serving of fish and chips,
possibly the only native English food edible by anyone.
Additionally a new English Cricket Spokesman to replace Zombie Freddy
Mercury is being considered. While Zombie Freddy Mercury has been a passionate
advocate around the world, increasing mistrust of Zombie Celebrities and
some bad publicity relating to the living members of Queen and finger-painting
has strained his ability to act effectively.
As to why now most cricket enthusiasts believe that now is the perfect
time for a new, relatively new or at least novel seeming sport to sweep
While cricket has not and is unlikely in the future to involve explosives,
horses, supermodels or even the chance to set fire to Shakira, and the
only sharp sticks and clubs are firmly entrenched as non-lethal elements
of the game there is a possibility that cricket could compete against
the some of the more lethal new games making an appearance.
To further aide the cause certain elements that have made soccer popular
are to be included in cricket. However riots are deemed to be counter
to the cricketing image of dignity and high class.
Nevertheless the advantages to promoting cricket are considerable. The
built in world wide audience means that there are no small few cricket
fans in nations where the sport has failed to take off. And when compared
to Jet Pack Water Polo or Sean Penn Kicking it is considerably cheaper
and results in far less collateral damage to any arena than trying to
kick Sean Penn typically does.