Sports from the past week.
Past sports article for the week of 7/26/05
By, Grey Sports
In a move that has surprised many generations, the use of fireballs has
been banned in Ice Hockey. The sudden ability of Ice Hockey players, and
no small number of fans, to generate fireballs a few months ago was something
of a surprise, surpassed only by the sudden ingenuity with which everyone
put them to use in the game itself.
While authorities have decried the use of fireballs in every day life,
the number of fireball related crimes and injuries have tripled since
the events. It is the sports world that is crying the loudest.
While the fireballs were at first a novelty, the humor at melting the
ice beneath an opponent, or even a teammateís feet, soon wore off. Once
this occurred nature took itís course and the players and fans started
using these fireballs upon each other.
To date while there have been no deaths the sheer amount of property destruction
has been staggering. Nine stadiums, fourteen goals and scores of hockey
sticks have been reduced to ash, and thatís just sports related property
that was deliberately attacked.
Caught in the crossfire, hotdogs, beer and even cars have been destroyed.
Only the long-standing Hockey tradition of hitting things with sticks
has prevented anyone from becoming dangerously inventive with these newfound
All the same, authorities are clamping down on the practice, threatening
to ban players for a year and fans on a more permanent basis, seats bought
and paid for or not.
Predictably the reaction of the fans and players has been heated, no pun
While no violence has been threatened this is hockey, no matter what there
will be violence, itís just the way of things.
Several players have stated that these newfound powers were not a matter
of choice, but a random event that resulted in a general upgrade in skills,
and as such cannot be banned any more than three-meter arms, x-ray vision
or a cannon as a leg.
Hockey authorities have countered these claims by stating that though
it may be the case that these powers are a natural development, an extension
of the hockey skills they lack the balancing issues of previous developments.
For example fireballs cannot be broken as arms can, distracting as x-ray
vision can or be mistaken for a pizza oven as a cannon leg can.
This argument looks set to disrupt yet another yearís series of games
as players, managers and owners find themselves deadlocked in what fans
see as just another trivial issue.