Sports from the past week.

Past sports article for the week of 7/9/05

Olympic Bidding One-Up Manship Event of its Own
By, Grey Sports

At first it was nothing out of the ordinary, with China having secured the 2008 Olympic Games it had taken one of the major players out of the bidding for 2012, so most cities contented themselves with the usual bribes of money, women and selection of fine cheeses.
For the 2012 run, the first city to try something mildly underhanded was London, using the famous and infamous, such as Tony Blair, David Beckham and a third of the surviving Spice Girls to woe the selection committee members. This was not in and of itself unusual as famous people have been used as both carrot and stick in many international events, however this marked the first time it has lead to an escalation of favor and threat.
New York was one of the first to raise the stakes, using blatant emotional blackmail in an attempt to secure the games for themselves, along with the notion that they have a better security system than any other city in the world.
Paris retaliated with good old-fashioned European snobbery, trying to play things close to their chest and keep everyone guessing with the silent approach. That being said the recent criticisms of Jacques Chirac towards English cooking has undone much of their haughty image.
Shanghai, though a Chinese city and therefore highly unlikely to host the games following Beijing, has tried marketing itself as being less Communist than the capital, leading some commentators to label it Beijing-lite.
These are but the tip of the iceberg, other cities, facing longer odds, have attempted a number of dirty tricks and bribes that have yet to cause a blip on the radar because of their unlikeliness to succeed.
Montreal has, as usual, used the threat of Celine Dion to try to sway the Olympic Committee. However this threat is easily countered by Houston’s threat of The Dixie Chix. Faced with two horrific choices the committee has wisely sidestepped the entire issue.
Tokyo has used the promise of greater control over it’s radioactive beasts to win some favor, though recent saber rattling from right wing nuts in that country have soured their chances, especially when combined with MechaGodzilla’s announcement that it acknowledges no master aside from love.
Meanwhile Los Angeles pointed to the easy supply of legal performance enhancing substances and relaxation enhancing prostitutes of all persuasions as a bonus for athletes.
Every major South American city has used a similar tactic, claiming to have twice the variety of performance enhancing substances as LA, at half the price. Similarly they are offering a free pass to Olympic associated personnel to do whatever they want with any of their citizens. Seattle has been the most vocal in protesting this last measure, claiming that a legal dedication to freedom is hampering their own offers.
Whoever gets to host the 2016 Olympic Games one thing is for sure, this isn’t about the sports anymore, and I should stop covering it.