Past Opinion Articles

Article for the week of 6/11/05

Evil Super Villains: Have They Outlived Their Usefulness?
By, Grey Opinions

During the heady days of the Cold War they were legion, Ivan Ivanovich, Mister Munroe, Klaus, Doctor Malice, Professor Pain and the lovely if deadly Lady Eyebrow. These were but a few of the many Evil Super Villains, the dastardly if slightly comical criminals who attempted everything from world domination to world destruction and even the occasional threat to world safety just to rob a bank.
Throughout the 70s everyone paid attention to them, trying to second-guess and thwart them. Not that it ever took much to thwart them.
During the 80s with marketability being the watchword new animal sidekicks were added, thought traded is probably the most appropriate terms. Communist Pig, Capitalist Dog and all the others were evil to the point of not being house trained, hence no one held on to them for long.
However since the fall of the Berlin Wall, the implosion of Communism and Lady Eyebrow’s disastrous attempt to sing the Canadian National anthem during the 1992 Stanley Cup finals (very nearly the death of hockey) Evil Super Villains have begun fading away.
Most consider it for the better, with threats like terrorism, pollution and Reality TV no one really wants anything else.
Many credit the Osama Bin Ladin's monthly video release as being based upon Mister Munroe’s monthly taunting of the UN during the ’83 – ’87 period.
Their waning popularity and failure to hold the world’s attention with anything more threatening than randomly poisoned bottles of aspirin
By and large the public is willing to let sleeping dogs lie, the majority of Evil Super Villains have retired and no longer pose much of a threat. Even Klaus, who has attained some sort of immortality, is no longer truly active and has been dropped from the Top Ten list of the World’s Most Wanted.
Their respective protégés remain active, though find it hard to compete in today’s tougher markets. Without a major power backing them they have instead become flunkies to those who can maintain the attention of a jaded viewing audience.
In desperate need of attention and cash to fund their latest schemes many have been forced to turn to infomercials.
Though many would like to predict that this is the end of Evil super villainy many of the greats are near death. It is thought that when a few of them die they will leave their vast fortunes and resources to the next generation that has long been waiting for its chance.
However with medical science prolonging life, though not necessarily quality of life these inheritors may yet have longer to wait, even now many have lost their youthful edge and have begun training apprentices of their own, who would be far more likely to inject youthful vigour into Evil Super Villainy, leaving a generation lost and bitter.