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Past Opinion Articles
Article for the week of 4/17/05
Ticked and Important: Who has America Annoyed and Why
By Grey Politics
In the modern world of diplomacy being an 800-pound gorilla is both an
advantage and a disadvantage. While awake no one dares tell you where
to sleep, however once you are asleep then someone will voice disgust.
This gorilla is America.
Having annoyed a great many people with their invasion of Iraq some have
said that the USA’s international reputation will never recover, that
it is impossible for any countries to forgive the blatant defiance of
international opinion.
Perhaps the angriest at the US are the French, who see Americans as rude,
uncultured and contemptible for all the reasons mentioned before and because
they are not French. Hardly surprising really.
However this has been a most childish rivalry, with Freedom Fries, the
boycotting of Burger King (though not McDonalds due to some semblance
of a Scottish background) and infamous musical pissing contest between
the Boston Philharmonic and the brass section of the Paris Symphony Orchestra,
which resulted in fifty injuries, nine burned out cars and one man having
to be surgically extracted from an elephant.
However it is deeper than that, since the French are still annoyed with
Americans for the 1966 incident where the UN declared 1967 “The Year of
the French” and no one did anything about it.
Why blame the US? Their UN diplomat laughed at the situation first. From
this the infamous “French Shit List” was compiled, with the USA being
followed by Germany, Russia, Ireland, England, China and then Spain.
The Russians are the next most likely to hate America, though this is
far more intense it is also far more frivolous, as the Russians just want
a rematch of the Cold War, swapping Kennedy for Khrushchev, Regan for
Gorbechov of and Stalin for Thatcher. Though the British have accepted
their end of the deal, none of the Russians want to admit that the whole
thing now looks like a bad idea based on that one experience.
Following the Russians must surely be Cuba, though only because it is
a state sanctioned hobby. Every year those who gain the most “Anti-US”
points gets a free space on one of the rafts, thereby making it one of
the most popular forms of entertainment in Cuba that is not punished with
torture.
Next most annoyed with the US is, according to public statements no less,
is England. Though politically England is a strong ally of the Bush government,
the war coupled with the endless stream of Reality TV and really, really,
really bad Marvel Superhero movies has soured things with the public.
Many readily point out that if someone, anyone would just apologise for
Daredevil things might improve.
Germany, next on the list, would be a little harder to please, as the
majority of Germans are still supporting a move to have anyone associated
with Reality TV extradited to the Hague and tried for crimes against humanity.
Unfortunately the ongoing refusal of the US to allow its citizens to be
tried in the World Court is proving to be the greatest stumbling block.
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