Past Opinion Articles
Article for the week of 2/8/10
Celebrities should help
Haiti- by staying out of it
By, Cozmic
The new year started off terribly for the nation of Haiti. On the 12th of January
an earthquake measuring an enormous 7.0 on the Richter scale hit the country,
claiming over 200,000 lives. Help organisations swarmed to the country to help,
other countries sent the help they could and Mr. Obama referred to the aid as
one of the greatest relief-efforts in modern history.
All of which brings us to celebrities. Celebrities always throw fundraisers or
whatever in order to aid relief-efforts. After all, it makes them look really
good, and people who look good get bigger parts and more money, and maybe, just
maybe, they actually do it to help, you know, on very rare occasions.
So how will celebrities aid in the relief-effort for Haiti? By not going to the
country, that's how! Seriously, they can throw fund-raisers and try and do some
good by raising public awareness of the need for relief in Hungary after a giant
tsunami (see, a lot of celebrities are stupid and misinformed, is what I am saying),
and that will be mostly fine, but do we really need celebrities going off to Port-au-Prince
to look healthy and fashionable and look for orphans to carry off home? I would
have to say no. I mean, sure, they are only trying to help- their image, but Haiti
needs only the regular press, documenting the relief-effort, not a bunch of dumb
paparazzi running around wanting to get stories of Angelina Jolie's super-secret
Haiti fling. A resounding heck no to that. More attention on an issue is usually
a good thing, but with celebrities being stuck up jerks who only really care for
themselves, then it stands to reason they would only bring the wrong kind of attention.
Say for example, teenage girls and middle-aged ladies with no lives thinking “oooh,
I want to adopt a small earthquake victim too! It will look great with my new
purse!” Once again, how about no!? How about, for once, we let the people
who almost know things, as opposed to the other people who act like they know
things, actually do what needs to be done now, instead of letting some person
famous for lip-synching and sounding horrible while wearing a piece of dental
floss between her legs walk around saying we need to do this and that. All of
it is horribly stupid (and her agent has still not told her that Haiti and Hungary
are totally different, probably because he was too busy rubbing his nose in all
the money). Would that be so hard, talentless hacks? Could you try and do the
world a favour for a few weeks? I promise, once we have forgotten all about this,
in about a month, then you can go down there and adopt and try and act like you
care and gain publicity. Until then, stay the hell away!
Really Pathetic
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